Doug Kanter wrote:
.... But, my dad has a thing about
control, and the rest of the family has decided he needs to be ground down a
bit with a very coarse rasp. Otherwise, there's no living with him.

Same here. In some cases, the "coarse rasp" can be making it obvious
that you will not interact in any way shape or form, until the behaviour
improves. It's hard to be a control freak when people ignore you.

DSK