LinkBack Thread Tools Search this Thread Display Modes
  #1   Report Post  
Old February 20th 09, 03:51 PM posted to alt.sailing.asa,rec.boats.cruising
external usenet poster
 
First recorded activity by BoatBanter: Aug 2007
Posts: 1,244
Default How sailing failure is defined.

How is sailing failure defined?

Let me count the ways.

1) Joe of Red Cloud infamy
2) Bruce at the Bangkok dock
3) Capt. J.G. the netKKKop
4) Bobsprit the dreamer
5) Doug King the trawler queen
6) Sea Hag the chronic builder
7) Katysails the blind (in more ways than one)
8) Dave the lawyer who doesn't even own a boat
9) KCL Lewis the admiral
10) Bob the wannabe deck hand

Each of these failures will be individually discussed below. They represent
the various ways folks can become sailing failures. The pitfalls are easily
pigeonholed. They seem to fall into categories and the failures are
certainly not original in any way. Rather, they are stereotypical and
represent thousands of wannabe sailors the world over.


1) Hapless Joe, skipper of the erstwhile motorsailer, "Red Cloud." Most of
you know his story. Abandoned his boat because he lacked the basic skills to
handle a cold front in the Gulf of Mexico while trying to deliver a couple
tons of coffee beans. Used his diesel until he wore it slap out and was
forced to sail and found out he didn't know how to sail nor did he have the
necessary storm sails when the going got tough. Yet he still claims to be
selling 'green' coffee. This while the hulk of the Red Cloud sits on the
bottom in the Gulf leaching diesel, rust and all manner of other pollution
and for years to come. Now, he "sails" some old pile of crap Owens Aruba.

2) Bruce at the Bangkok dock. Bruce had a dream. He started off on a
circumnavigation but overreached. Only made it halfway around and ran out of
steam. His choice of a vessel was too large, to cumbersome, to complicated
for him to handle. One problem after another soon ground his pie-in-the-sky
enterprise to a halt. He got as far as Thailand where his goal has
languished now for over thirty years. He simply could not face the prospect
of continuing because it finally dawned on him that he wasn't up to the
task. Now he pretends to be an authority.

3) Capt. J.G. the netKKKop doesn't have what it takes to be a real sailor
either. His entire life revolves around his desire to control every aspect
of his environment whether it be Usenet netKKKopping or neighborhood
agitation (community organizer) against everything from airplane traffic to
power pole placement. He's been involved with one failed or failing sailing
instruction venture after another and was recently fired from one where he
hijacked their web site and used it as a means to whine and slander those
who fired his sorry arse. Gaynze will never be a sailor because he's got to
be doing things that make him a thorn in the side of those who associate
with him.

4) Bobsprit who is a dreamer never had what it took to be a sailor. He's
become a daddy like many daddies today - Mr. Mom. Pathetic! While his wife
goes to work every day, Bobsprit baby-sits and spends the majority of his
time doing other female duties. He finally gave up bragging about his little
afternoon sailing attempts which generally ended up in one disaster after
another as in hitting the same rock about five times in a row. He can't
handle the most basic of boat maintenance as evidenced by the water damage
to the sole of his latest ugly boat. He hasn't been heard from much lately
probably because he never sails any more. Dishpan hands make sailing too
painful.

5) Doug King the trawler queen was a pretend sailor for a while but it was
always evident that he was one of these people who preferred sanding,
varnishing and polishing over sailing. He uses a boat primarily as an object
for bragging rights. His idea of sailing has always been talking to people
on the dock who admired the spit shine of his show vessel. Now, Doug's given
up on sailing and has turned into a tug-boat trawler maintenance man. To
Doug appearance is all that matters. It's a case of, "Hey, lookit meeeee!"
as he chugs up and down some sheltered channel where he can depend upon an
audience on the banks who admire his handiwork.

6) Seahag the chronic builder has faded into the dust pile of history. She
and her husband never completed the old wreck of a wooden boat they worked
on for twenty some odd years. They have finally run out of energy and funds
and still live aboard at the dock in a boat that crumbles under them faster
than they can keep up with the repairs. Their story is one of a completely
failed Bruce in Bangkok. While Bruce failed halfway, Seahag never even got
started. Well, at least Seahag can be comforted by the fact that her story
isn't unique. While some sail, many others work and dream and never
accomplish more that that.

7) Katysails who was a friend of Seahag did try to sail from time to time
but living in Michigan her sailing season was very short. I don't think she
ever got the hang of it and that school marm of a husband never had what it
took either. Their boat was some cheap French abomination that was built
flimsy and did not sail well. Last I heard they finally got some sense and
moved south (their boat on a truck) where the last I heard Katy was trying
to figure out how to keep condensation from forming inside her boat. They're
both retired now but can't break the bonds of life ashore. They live in some
rented shack and their boat rots and mildews away on a mooring up some muddy
river in North Carolina. Katy's going blind in one eye and can't see too
well out of the other. Even her typing has gotten worse, if that can
possibly be, in the past year or so. These two are done when it comes to
sailing. They might as well give up even the pretense of it.

8) Then there's Dave the lawyer. He's never mentioned his boat and it's
apparent he doesn't own a boat nor does he ever sail a boat. He's just
another know-it-all lawyer who thinks he can bluff his way through the
newsgroup and nobody will challenge his lack of sailing credentials. His
only real accomplishment here has been smacking Capt. J.G. from one end of
Usenet to the other but, then again, is that really an accomplishment? Hell,
anybody can step on a maggot!

9) KCL Lewis the dreamer. Karin lives aboard so she's more of a sailor than
most but she's lost her nerve and doesn't sail anymore. She is the opposite
of Seahag, however. While Seahag enjoyed being a boat yard monkey, Karin
fancies herself a spic and span admiral of the seas. She's got this
self-image that makes her think she knows it all and people need to salute
her as she strolls by. She isn't any too bright because she lives aboard but
isn't bright enough to sail to milder climes so she suffers half the winter
in the cold when she could easily sail to where it's warm and enjoyable most
of the year. But, then again nobody ever said a Rawson 30 was anything but a
heavy and slow cruiser. Perhaps too much for even a manly-looking female to
handle.

10) Bob. What a pitiful character! Here's what he wrote recently: "I am
eager to start sweeping floors and scrubbing heads." What kind of a loser
has that disgusting prospect as a goal in life? You are no sailor unless and
until you sail, Bob. Doing janitor work on a work boat doesn't make you a
sailor. It makes you a common unskilled laborer - get a clue.


Wilbur Hubbard



  #2   Report Post  
Old February 20th 09, 04:22 PM posted to alt.sailing.asa,rec.boats.cruising
external usenet poster
 
First recorded activity by BoatBanter: Jul 2006
Posts: 1,579
Default How sailing failure is defined.


"Wilbur Hubbard" wrote in message
anews.com...
How is sailing failure defined?

Let me count the ways.

1) Joe of Red Cloud infamy
2) Bruce at the Bangkok dock
3) Capt. J.G. the netKKKop
4) Bobsprit the dreamer
5) Doug King the trawler queen
6) Sea Hag the chronic builder
7) Katysails the blind (in more ways than one)
8) Dave the lawyer who doesn't even own a boat
9) KCL Lewis the admiral
10) Bob the wannabe deck hand

snippage

9) KCL Lewis the dreamer. Karin lives aboard so she's more of a sailor
than most but she's lost her nerve and doesn't sail anymore. She is the
opposite of Seahag, however. While Seahag enjoyed being a boat yard
monkey, Karin fancies herself a spic and span admiral of the seas. She's
got this self-image that makes her think she knows it all and people need
to salute her as she strolls by. She isn't any too bright because she
lives aboard but isn't bright enough to sail to milder climes so she
suffers half the winter in the cold when she could easily sail to where
it's warm and enjoyable most of the year. But, then again nobody ever said
a Rawson 30 was anything but a heavy and slow cruiser. Perhaps too much
for even a manly-looking female to handle.
Wilbur Hubbard


Almost correct. I'm not too bright, but smart enough not to try to
live-aboard on the hard through the harsh UP winters. And I don't think
people need to salute me. They do it voluntarily. My Rawson 30 is "heavy and
slow," perhaps that's true. But it suits my personality and body type, so I
can't complain.

KLC Lewis
Admiral of the Ocean Sea


  #3   Report Post  
Old February 20th 09, 05:01 PM posted to alt.sailing.asa,rec.boats.cruising
external usenet poster
 
First recorded activity by BoatBanter: Oct 2006
Posts: 2,109
Default How sailing failure is defined.

KLC Lewis wrote:
castrated the drivel

Almost correct. I'm not too bright, but smart enough not to try to
live-aboard on the hard through the harsh UP winters. And I don't think
people need to salute me. They do it voluntarily. My Rawson 30 is "heavy and
slow," perhaps that's true. But it suits my personality and body type, so I
can't complain.

KLC Lewis
Admiral of the Ocean Sea


Where you at in the UP? We have to go up there sometime this summer to
take a load of historical stuff from the family to the family museum in
Haight Twp....


  #4   Report Post  
Old February 20th 09, 05:14 PM posted to alt.sailing.asa,rec.boats.cruising
external usenet poster
 
First recorded activity by BoatBanter: Jul 2006
Posts: 1,579
Default How sailing failure is defined.


"katy" wrote in message
om...
KLC Lewis wrote:
castrated the drivel

Almost correct. I'm not too bright, but smart enough not to try to
live-aboard on the hard through the harsh UP winters. And I don't think
people need to salute me. They do it voluntarily. My Rawson 30 is "heavy
and slow," perhaps that's true. But it suits my personality and body
type, so I can't complain.

KLC Lewis
Admiral of the Ocean Sea


Where you at in the UP? We have to go up there sometime this summer to
take a load of historical stuff from the family to the family museum in
Haight Twp....


I dock up in Marinette (up from where I live in Wisconsin). Great sailing on
the bay, great anchorages and harbors to visit over on Door Peninsula.
Marinette isn't technically in the UP, as it's across the bridge from
Menominee, MI. Close enough as far as the weather goes, though.


  #5   Report Post  
Old February 20th 09, 07:13 PM posted to alt.sailing.asa,rec.boats.cruising
external usenet poster
 
First recorded activity by BoatBanter: Jul 2006
Posts: 7,757
Default How sailing failure is defined.

wrote in message
...
On Fri, 20 Feb 2009 18:10:04 +0100 (CET), Nomen Nescio
wrote:

http://www.kookpedia.net/index.php/Gregory_Hall


With all those awards, you'd think it would be time to name an award
after him, as well as a Gregory Hall Lifetime Achievement Award, for
him.



This sounds like a prelude to him disappearing for a while. It wouldn't be
the first time, but maybe it'll be the last.

--
"j" ganz @@
www.sailnow.com





  #6   Report Post  
Old February 20th 09, 07:45 PM posted to alt.sailing.asa,rec.boats.cruising
external usenet poster
 
First recorded activity by BoatBanter: Oct 2006
Posts: 2,109
Default How sailing failure is defined.

KLC Lewis wrote:
"katy" wrote in message
om...
KLC Lewis wrote:
castrated the drivel

Almost correct. I'm not too bright, but smart enough not to try to
live-aboard on the hard through the harsh UP winters. And I don't think
people need to salute me. They do it voluntarily. My Rawson 30 is "heavy
and slow," perhaps that's true. But it suits my personality and body
type, so I can't complain.

KLC Lewis
Admiral of the Ocean Sea

Where you at in the UP? We have to go up there sometime this summer to
take a load of historical stuff from the family to the family museum in
Haight Twp....


I dock up in Marinette (up from where I live in Wisconsin). Great sailing on
the bay, great anchorages and harbors to visit over on Door Peninsula.
Marinette isn't technically in the UP, as it's across the bridge from
Menominee, MI. Close enough as far as the weather goes, though.


True..that is great sailing up htere...we had our boat at Whitehall for
years and then Muskegon and Lake Michigan is home ground (water) for
us...Now she's down here in NC and we don't ever have to worry about 6
month haulouts or pink KoolAId ever again
  #7   Report Post  
Old February 20th 09, 10:36 PM posted to alt.sailing.asa,rec.boats.cruising
external usenet poster
 
First recorded activity by BoatBanter: Jul 2006
Posts: 1,579
Default How sailing failure is defined.


"katy" wrote in message
om...
True..that is great sailing up htere...we had our boat at Whitehall for
years and then Muskegon and Lake Michigan is home ground (water) for
us...Now she's down here in NC and we don't ever have to worry about 6
month haulouts or pink KoolAId ever again


My pretty-much ideal sailing grounds would be the Great Lakes in the summer.
Unfortunately, the water does get too hard for sailing for way too long each
year, and by December I'm thinking of moving south. But then I remember
things like "Palmetto Bugs" and other giant cockroachy critters. Wouldn't
mind moving back to southern California if it wasn't so bleeding insane out
there.

I can't wait until global warming allows me to keep my boat sailing on Green
Bay and Lake Michigan year-round.


  #8   Report Post  
Old February 21st 09, 01:03 AM posted to alt.sailing.asa,rec.boats.cruising
external usenet poster
 
First recorded activity by BoatBanter: Oct 2006
Posts: 2,109
Default How sailing failure is defined.

KLC Lewis wrote:

My pretty-much ideal sailing grounds would be the Great Lakes in the summer.
Unfortunately, the water does get too hard for sailing for way too long each
year, and by December I'm thinking of moving south. But then I remember
things like "Palmetto Bugs" and other giant cockroachy critters. Wouldn't
mind moving back to southern California if it wasn't so bleeding insane out
there.

Yes..andyoucanswimwithout ea of an errant shar tain off an
appendage...eery timewe go out to the pier to fish where i caught a 3 ft
shark and se others hauled in regularly) and I see mother's letting
their kids swim in the surf at the beginning, I cringe and want torun up
there screaming "sharks!"....

I can't wait until global warming allows me to keep my boat sailing on Green
Bay and Lake Michigan year-round.

THat will be grest..then we won't hae to go south for the winter to get
out of the crap...but don't hold youe breath...my daughter gies me
weekly weather reports and it doesn;t seemlike gloabl warming is arriing
in Michigan any time soon...

  #9   Report Post  
Old February 21st 09, 02:41 AM posted to alt.sailing.asa,rec.boats.cruising
external usenet poster
 
First recorded activity by BoatBanter: Feb 2007
Posts: 900
Default How sailing failure is defined.

"KLC Lewis" wrote:
My pretty-much ideal sailing grounds would be the Great Lakes in the summer.


Why?

True, fresh water is nice. But there's a lot of great places to sail
on both coasts... without biting flies, rocks, ore boats, submerged
fish traps, lampreys, etc etc.


Unfortunately, the water does get too hard for sailing for way too long each
year, and by December I'm thinking of moving south. But then I remember
things like "Palmetto Bugs" and other giant cockroachy critters. Wouldn't
mind moving back to southern California if it wasn't so bleeding insane out
there.


No wind in southern Cali. Might as wellkeep heading south, you're
gonna have to learn Spanish anywhere south of Portland.


I can't wait until global warming allows me to keep my boat sailing on Green
Bay and Lake Michigan year-round.


Freezing temps here in NC tonight... although we're due, it's been
sunny and warm (hi temps ~ 70F) most of the week. In fact it's been
GREAT sailing weather.... maybe a little windy

Fresh Breezes- Doug King
  #10   Report Post  
Old February 21st 09, 02:50 AM posted to alt.sailing.asa,rec.boats.cruising
external usenet poster
 
First recorded activity by BoatBanter: Jul 2006
Posts: 1,579
Default How sailing failure is defined.


wrote in message
...
"KLC Lewis" wrote:
My pretty-much ideal sailing grounds would be the Great Lakes in the
summer.


Why?

True, fresh water is nice. But there's a lot of great places to sail
on both coasts... without biting flies, rocks, ore boats, submerged
fish traps, lampreys, etc etc.


Oh, I know about sailing salt water and have nothing at all against it. I
learned to sail in Charleston, SC, sailed in the Med, and bought our first
boat in Long Beach where we lived-aboard and sailed for years. I miss the
Pacific rollers, and the usually-nice weather. But Green Bay in the summer
is just...nice. Everything is a daysail away, or less. For what I'm doing
now it fits nicely. If I want to make longer passages, the rest of the Great
Lakes are conveniently connected to my bay.


Unfortunately, the water does get too hard for sailing for way too long
each
year, and by December I'm thinking of moving south. But then I remember
things like "Palmetto Bugs" and other giant cockroachy critters. Wouldn't
mind moving back to southern California if it wasn't so bleeding insane
out
there.


No wind in southern Cali. Might as wellkeep heading south, you're
gonna have to learn Spanish anywhere south of Portland.


Ya, SoCal is known for its "light and variable" conditions, but that didn't
stop me from sailing. Fact is the wind blows enough year-round that you can
almost always sail if you want to, as long as you're not in a hurry. That's
why God invented "light air" sails. If I was in a hurry, I'd have a
powerboat.


I can't wait until global warming allows me to keep my boat sailing on
Green
Bay and Lake Michigan year-round.


Freezing temps here in NC tonight... although we're due, it's been
sunny and warm (hi temps ~ 70F) most of the week. In fact it's been
GREAT sailing weather.... maybe a little windy

Fresh Breezes- Doug King





 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search
Display Modes

Posting Rules

Smilies are On
[IMG] code is Off
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are On


Similar Threads
Thread Thread Starter Forum Replies Last Post
How sailing failure is defined. Wilbur Hubbard[_2_] Cruising 49 March 28th 09 05:10 PM
Leadership defined... Tom Francis - SWSports General 25 November 23rd 08 10:16 PM
Bobspit Defined Joe ASA 10 April 19th 06 02:30 PM
Performance Defined Capt. Rob ASA 35 November 17th 05 05:42 PM


All times are GMT +1. The time now is 06:30 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® Copyright ©2000 - 2022, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Copyright 2004-2022 BoatBanter.com.
The comments are property of their posters.
 

About Us

"It's about Boats"

 

Copyright © 2017