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OT The Conservative Brain
"basskisser" wrote in message om... "NOYB" wrote in message rthlink.net... Stolen from the internet: A Frank Study on What Makes a Political Liberal You've probably heard about the Berkeley study done with your tax dollars on what makes a political conservative. Here are the factors they identified: * Fear and aggression * Dogmatism and intolerance of ambiguity * Uncertainty avoidance * Need for cognitive closure * Terror management Funny enough, I had been doing my own study about what makes a political liberal. I think mine was much more efficient, because I traced it to a single factor: * They're f'ing morons As evidence of this finding, just listen to any liberal. Ever read anything from Noam Chomsky? What a dumbass. Ever seen an article in The Nation? You can almost imagine the drool stains on the original copy of whomever wrote it. Heard Michael Moore speak? Than man is fat and ugly! While that doesn't prove or disprove my theory, he's also a nitwit, which goes with my findings. And ever see a bunch of liberals get together for a protest? It's like a whole gaggle of retards! You almost expect, that with that much stupidity in one area, it will collapse upon itself and from a logic black hole, sucking in all sense that gets near it. And then there is liberal Hollywood where people are about as dumb as you can be without forgetting to breathe. It's like that to get into Hollywood you need to take an intelligence test, and they'll only let you in if it comes up negative. Then there are liberal congressmen and women. I've seen them argue on C-SPAN, and they're so moronic I want to hit them with rocks (there's that aggression). Well, I think my study was pretty thorough on what makes a liberal, but what I really want to find is how to cure it. Liberals seems to protect their idiocy by forming some sort of force field of pure stupidity, a force field so strong that logic can't penetrate it. What can penetrate it, though, is a large stick. Such an item is known to the scientific community as a "whomp'n stick". What I want to find out is if by whomp'n a liberal whenever he says something stupid, can I train him away from liberalism through pure pain avoidance. My theory is that it will cause conservatism as defined by the Berkeley study: * Fear and aggression - Fear of a whomp'n * Dogmatism and intolerance of ambiguity - "Are you going to whomp me or not?" * Uncertainty avoidance - "I'll stay quiet so I don't get whomped." * Need for cognitive closure - "Someone patch up this head wound." * Terror management - "I'll crouch in the corner and be quiet so the scary man doesn't whomp me." So there is the study: will a group of liberal who gets whomped have more converts to conservatism than a control group with no whomp'n. Ahh... screw the control group; I'm going to whomp 'em both. Now all I need is millions in a government grant and a stick fit for whomp'n. Oh, and I'll need liberal volunteers. The Berkeley scientists from the previous study are sure free to help out in this one. WHOMP! WHOMP! WHERE did you get such horse****? NPR. :-) |
#2
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OT The Conservative Brain
"NOYB" wrote in message rthlink.net...
"basskisser" wrote in message om... "NOYB" wrote in message rthlink.net... Stolen from the internet: A Frank Study on What Makes a Political Liberal You've probably heard about the Berkeley study done with your tax dollars on what makes a political conservative. Here are the factors they identified: * Fear and aggression * Dogmatism and intolerance of ambiguity * Uncertainty avoidance * Need for cognitive closure * Terror management Funny enough, I had been doing my own study about what makes a political liberal. I think mine was much more efficient, because I traced it to a single factor: * They're f'ing morons As evidence of this finding, just listen to any liberal. Ever read anything from Noam Chomsky? What a dumbass. Ever seen an article in The Nation? You can almost imagine the drool stains on the original copy of whomever wrote it. Heard Michael Moore speak? Than man is fat and ugly! While that doesn't prove or disprove my theory, he's also a nitwit, which goes with my findings. And ever see a bunch of liberals get together for a protest? It's like a whole gaggle of retards! You almost expect, that with that much stupidity in one area, it will collapse upon itself and from a logic black hole, sucking in all sense that gets near it. And then there is liberal Hollywood where people are about as dumb as you can be without forgetting to breathe. It's like that to get into Hollywood you need to take an intelligence test, and they'll only let you in if it comes up negative. Then there are liberal congressmen and women. I've seen them argue on C-SPAN, and they're so moronic I want to hit them with rocks (there's that aggression). Well, I think my study was pretty thorough on what makes a liberal, but what I really want to find is how to cure it. Liberals seems to protect their idiocy by forming some sort of force field of pure stupidity, a force field so strong that logic can't penetrate it. What can penetrate it, though, is a large stick. Such an item is known to the scientific community as a "whomp'n stick". What I want to find out is if by whomp'n a liberal whenever he says something stupid, can I train him away from liberalism through pure pain avoidance. My theory is that it will cause conservatism as defined by the Berkeley study: * Fear and aggression - Fear of a whomp'n * Dogmatism and intolerance of ambiguity - "Are you going to whomp me or not?" * Uncertainty avoidance - "I'll stay quiet so I don't get whomped." * Need for cognitive closure - "Someone patch up this head wound." * Terror management - "I'll crouch in the corner and be quiet so the scary man doesn't whomp me." So there is the study: will a group of liberal who gets whomped have more converts to conservatism than a control group with no whomp'n. Ahh... screw the control group; I'm going to whomp 'em both. Now all I need is millions in a government grant and a stick fit for whomp'n. Oh, and I'll need liberal volunteers. The Berkeley scientists from the previous study are sure free to help out in this one. WHOMP! WHOMP! WHERE did you get such horse****? NPR. :-) Bull****. Purely made up, doesn't exist. But then again, conservatives ARE good at making up things...just look at Rush, the world's biggest liar. |
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