Notice to Americans of Revocation of Independence from the Government of Her
Majesty Queen Elizabeth II


To the citizens of the United States of America: In the light of your
failure to elect a sane President of the United States and thus to govern
yourselves with consideration for the rest of world, we hereby give notice
of the Revocation of your Independence, effective immediately .

Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over
all states, commonwealths and other territories. Except Utah, which she does
not fancy.

Your new prime minister (The Rt Hon, Tony Blair, MP for the 97.85% of you
who have until now been unaware that there is a world outside your borders)
will appoint a Minister for America without the need for further elections.

Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire will be
circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.

To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following rules
are introduced with immediate effect:

1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then
look up "aluminium". Check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at
just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. Generally, you should raise
your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up "vocabulary". Using the same
twenty seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and "you
know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. Look up
"interspersed".

2. There is no such thing as "US English". We will let Microsoft know on
your behalf.

3. Arrest Mel Gibson for treason.

4. You should relearn your original national anthem, "God Save The Queen",
but only after fully carrying out task 1. We would not want you to get
confused and give up half way through.

5. You should stop playing American "football". There is only one kind of
football. What you refer to as American "football" is not a very good game.
The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside your borders
may have noticed that no one else plays "American" football. You will no
longer be allowed to play it, and should instead play proper football.
Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls. It is a difficult
game. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby
(which is similar to American "football", but does not involve stopping for
a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full Kevlar body armour like
nancies). We are hoping to get together at least a US rugby sevens side by
2005.

6. Stop referring to the "World Series" of Baseball and instead call it the
"USA, Cuba and Japan Championship."

7. Learn to enjoy warm flat beer and steak and kidney pudding. Train
waitresses to be more aggressive with customers and not to tell you their
names before you eat.

8. You should declare war on Quebec and France, using nuclear weapons if
they give you any merde.

9. The 98.85% of you who were not aware that there is a world outside your
borders should count yourselves lucky. The Russians have never been the "bad
guys".

10. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 4th will be a new
national holiday, but only in England. It will be called "Revocation Day."

11. Driving on the left is now compulsory - recall all cars to effect the
change immediately.

12. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy.

Tax collectors from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to
ensure the acquisition of all revenues due (backdated to 1776).


Thank you for your cooperation and have a nice day!

Hmmm, not such a bad idea. You guys could not have done much worse than
ourselves
Steve
"Figment" wrote in message
...
Notice to Americans of Revocation of Independence from the Government of
Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II


To the citizens of the United States of America: In the light of your
failure to elect a sane President of the United States and thus to govern
yourselves with consideration for the rest of world, we hereby give notice
of the Revocation of your Independence, effective immediately .

Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties
over all states, commonwealths and other territories. Except Utah, which
she does not fancy.

Your new prime minister (The Rt Hon, Tony Blair, MP for the 97.85% of you
who have until now been unaware that there is a world outside your
borders) will appoint a Minister for America without the need for further
elections.

Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire will be
circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.

To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following
rules are introduced with immediate effect:

1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then
look up "aluminium". Check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at
just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. Generally, you should raise
your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up "vocabulary". Using the same
twenty seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and "you
know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. Look up
"interspersed".

2. There is no such thing as "US English". We will let Microsoft know on
your behalf.

3. Arrest Mel Gibson for treason.

4. You should relearn your original national anthem, "God Save The Queen",
but only after fully carrying out task 1. We would not want you to get
confused and give up half way through.

5. You should stop playing American "football". There is only one kind of
football. What you refer to as American "football" is not a very good
game. The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside your
borders may have noticed that no one else plays "American" football. You
will no longer be allowed to play it, and should instead play proper
football. Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls. It is
a difficult game. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to
play rugby (which is similar to American "football", but does not involve
stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full Kevlar body
armour like nancies). We are hoping to get together at least a US rugby
sevens side by 2005.

6. Stop referring to the "World Series" of Baseball and instead call it
the "USA, Cuba and Japan Championship."

7. Learn to enjoy warm flat beer and steak and kidney pudding. Train
waitresses to be more aggressive with customers and not to tell you their
names before you eat.

8. You should declare war on Quebec and France, using nuclear weapons if
they give you any merde.

9. The 98.85% of you who were not aware that there is a world outside your
borders should count yourselves lucky. The Russians have never been the
"bad guys".

10. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 4th will be a new
national holiday, but only in England. It will be called "Revocation Day."

11. Driving on the left is now compulsory - recall all cars to effect the
change immediately.

12. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy.

Tax collectors from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to
ensure the acquisition of all revenues due (backdated to 1776).


Thank you for your cooperation and have a nice day!

Yawn... This tired old diatribe surfaces everytime you are ticked off
about something we yanks do.

"Figment" wrote in message
...
Notice to Americans of Revocation of Independence from the Government of
Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II


To the citizens of the United States of America: In the light of your
failure to elect a sane President of the United States and thus to govern
yourselves with consideration for the rest of world, we hereby give notice
of the Revocation of your Independence, effective immediately .

Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties
over all states, commonwealths and other territories. Except Utah, which
she does not fancy.

Your new prime minister (The Rt Hon, Tony Blair, MP for the 97.85% of you
who have until now been unaware that there is a world outside your
borders) will appoint a Minister for America without the need for further
elections.

Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire will be
circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.

To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following
rules are introduced with immediate effect:

1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then
look up "aluminium". Check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at
just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. Generally, you should raise
your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up "vocabulary". Using the same
twenty seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and "you
know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. Look up
"interspersed".

2. There is no such thing as "US English". We will let Microsoft know on
your behalf.

3. Arrest Mel Gibson for treason.

4. You should relearn your original national anthem, "God Save The Queen",
but only after fully carrying out task 1. We would not want you to get
confused and give up half way through.

5. You should stop playing American "football". There is only one kind of
football. What you refer to as American "football" is not a very good
game. The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside your
borders may have noticed that no one else plays "American" football. You
will no longer be allowed to play it, and should instead play proper
football. Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls. It is
a difficult game. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to
play rugby (which is similar to American "football", but does not involve
stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full Kevlar body
armour like nancies). We are hoping to get together at least a US rugby
sevens side by 2005.

6. Stop referring to the "World Series" of Baseball and instead call it
the "USA, Cuba and Japan Championship."

7. Learn to enjoy warm flat beer and steak and kidney pudding. Train
waitresses to be more aggressive with customers and not to tell you their
names before you eat.

8. You should declare war on Quebec and France, using nuclear weapons if
they give you any merde.

9. The 98.85% of you who were not aware that there is a world outside your
borders should count yourselves lucky. The Russians have never been the
"bad guys".

10. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 4th will be a new
national holiday, but only in England. It will be called "Revocation Day."

11. Driving on the left is now compulsory - recall all cars to effect the
change immediately.

12. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy.

Tax collectors from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to
ensure the acquisition of all revenues due (backdated to 1776).


Thank you for your cooperation and have a nice day!

10. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 4th will be a new
national holiday, but only in England. It will be called "Revocation Day."

You could have at least changed the date to Nov 2

"Figment" wrote in message
...
Notice to Americans of Revocation of Independence from the Government of
Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II


To the citizens of the United States of America: In the light of your
failure to elect a sane President of the United States and thus to govern
yourselves with consideration for the rest of world, we hereby give notice
of the Revocation of your Independence, effective immediately .

Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties
over all states, commonwealths and other territories. Except Utah, which
she does not fancy.

Your new prime minister (The Rt Hon, Tony Blair, MP for the 97.85% of you
who have until now been unaware that there is a world outside your
borders) will appoint a Minister for America without the need for further
elections.

Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire will be
circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.

To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following
rules are introduced with immediate effect:

1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then
look up "aluminium". Check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at
just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. Generally, you should raise
your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up "vocabulary". Using the same
twenty seven words interspersed with filler noises such as "like" and "you
know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. Look up
"interspersed".

2. There is no such thing as "US English". We will let Microsoft know on
your behalf.

3. Arrest Mel Gibson for treason.

4. You should relearn your original national anthem, "God Save The Queen",
but only after fully carrying out task 1. We would not want you to get
confused and give up half way through.

5. You should stop playing American "football". There is only one kind of
football. What you refer to as American "football" is not a very good
game. The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside your
borders may have noticed that no one else plays "American" football. You
will no longer be allowed to play it, and should instead play proper
football. Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls. It is
a difficult game. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to
play rugby (which is similar to American "football", but does not involve
stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full Kevlar body
armour like nancies). We are hoping to get together at least a US rugby
sevens side by 2005.

6. Stop referring to the "World Series" of Baseball and instead call it
the "USA, Cuba and Japan Championship."

7. Learn to enjoy warm flat beer and steak and kidney pudding. Train
waitresses to be more aggressive with customers and not to tell you their
names before you eat.

8. You should declare war on Quebec and France, using nuclear weapons if
they give you any merde.

9. The 98.85% of you who were not aware that there is a world outside your
borders should count yourselves lucky. The Russians have never been the
"bad guys".

10. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 4th will be a new
national holiday, but only in England. It will be called "Revocation Day."

11. Driving on the left is now compulsory - recall all cars to effect the
change immediately.

12. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy.

Tax collectors from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to
ensure the acquisition of all revenues due (backdated to 1776).


Thank you for your cooperation and have a nice day!

If you had any sense you'd have noticed that I posted it on the 4th Nov not
the 2nd, hence "November 4th will be a new national holiday". Obviously too
subtle for a Yank!

"Doug Dotson" wrote in message
...
10. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 4th will be a new
national holiday, but only in England. It will be called "Revocation Day."

You could have at least changed the date to Nov 2

"Figment" wrote in message
...
Notice to Americans of Revocation of Independence from the Government of
Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II


To the citizens of the United States of America: In the light of your
failure to elect a sane President of the United States and thus to govern
yourselves with consideration for the rest of world, we hereby give
notice of the Revocation of your Independence, effective immediately .

Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties
over all states, commonwealths and other territories. Except Utah, which
she does not fancy.

Your new prime minister (The Rt Hon, Tony Blair, MP for the 97.85% of you
who have until now been unaware that there is a world outside your
borders) will appoint a Minister for America without the need for further
elections.

Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire will be
circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.

To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following
rules are introduced with immediate effect:

1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary. Then
look up "aluminium". Check the pronunciation guide. You will be amazed at
just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. Generally, you should
raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up "vocabulary". Using
the same twenty seven words interspersed with filler noises such as
"like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of
communication. Look up "interspersed".

2. There is no such thing as "US English". We will let Microsoft know on
your behalf.

3. Arrest Mel Gibson for treason.

4. You should relearn your original national anthem, "God Save The
Queen", but only after fully carrying out task 1. We would not want you
to get confused and give up half way through.

5. You should stop playing American "football". There is only one kind of
football. What you refer to as American "football" is not a very good
game. The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside your
borders may have noticed that no one else plays "American" football. You
will no longer be allowed to play it, and should instead play proper
football. Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls. It is
a difficult game. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to
play rugby (which is similar to American "football", but does not involve
stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full Kevlar body
armour like nancies). We are hoping to get together at least a US rugby
sevens side by 2005.

6. Stop referring to the "World Series" of Baseball and instead call it
the "USA, Cuba and Japan Championship."

7. Learn to enjoy warm flat beer and steak and kidney pudding. Train
waitresses to be more aggressive with customers and not to tell you their
names before you eat.

8. You should declare war on Quebec and France, using nuclear weapons if
they give you any merde.

9. The 98.85% of you who were not aware that there is a world outside
your borders should count yourselves lucky. The Russians have never been
the "bad guys".

10. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 4th will be a new
national holiday, but only in England. It will be called "Revocation
Day."

11. Driving on the left is now compulsory - recall all cars to effect the
change immediately.

12. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy.

Tax collectors from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to
ensure the acquisition of all revenues due (backdated to 1776).


Thank you for your cooperation and have a nice day!

A date is usually associated with the event corresponding to the
date. I doubt if you posting a notice rises to the level of a significant
event.

"BrianR" wrote in message
...
If you had any sense you'd have noticed that I posted it on the 4th Nov
not the 2nd, hence "November 4th will be a new national holiday".
Obviously too subtle for a Yank!

"Doug Dotson" wrote in message
...
10. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 4th will be a new
national holiday, but only in England. It will be called "Revocation
Day."

You could have at least changed the date to Nov 2

"Figment" wrote in message
...
Notice to Americans of Revocation of Independence from the Government of
Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II


To the citizens of the United States of America: In the light of your
failure to elect a sane President of the United States and thus to
govern yourselves with consideration for the rest of world, we hereby
give notice of the Revocation of your Independence, effective
immediately .

Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties
over all states, commonwealths and other territories. Except Utah, which
she does not fancy.

Your new prime minister (The Rt Hon, Tony Blair, MP for the 97.85% of
you who have until now been unaware that there is a world outside your
borders) will appoint a Minister for America without the need for
further elections.

Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire will be
circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.

To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following
rules are introduced with immediate effect:

1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary.
Then look up "aluminium". Check the pronunciation guide. You will be
amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. Generally, you
should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up "vocabulary".
Using the same twenty seven words interspersed with filler noises such
as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and inefficient form of
communication. Look up "interspersed".

2. There is no such thing as "US English". We will let Microsoft know on
your behalf.

3. Arrest Mel Gibson for treason.

4. You should relearn your original national anthem, "God Save The
Queen", but only after fully carrying out task 1. We would not want you
to get confused and give up half way through.

5. You should stop playing American "football". There is only one kind
of football. What you refer to as American "football" is not a very good
game. The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside your
borders may have noticed that no one else plays "American" football. You
will no longer be allowed to play it, and should instead play proper
football. Initially, it would be best if you played with the girls. It
is a difficult game. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed
to play rugby (which is similar to American "football", but does not
involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full Kevlar
body armour like nancies). We are hoping to get together at least a US
rugby sevens side by 2005.

6. Stop referring to the "World Series" of Baseball and instead call it
the "USA, Cuba and Japan Championship."

7. Learn to enjoy warm flat beer and steak and kidney pudding. Train
waitresses to be more aggressive with customers and not to tell you
their names before you eat.

8. You should declare war on Quebec and France, using nuclear weapons if
they give you any merde.

9. The 98.85% of you who were not aware that there is a world outside
your borders should count yourselves lucky. The Russians have never been
the "bad guys".

10. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 4th will be a new
national holiday, but only in England. It will be called "Revocation
Day."

11. Driving on the left is now compulsory - recall all cars to effect
the change immediately.

12. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy.

Tax collectors from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to
ensure the acquisition of all revenues due (backdated to 1776).


Thank you for your cooperation and have a nice day!

It's true.
"You can't argue with a fool, because they'll drag you down to their level
and beat you with experience", so I concede defeat. You win.


"Doug Dotson" wrote in message
...
A date is usually associated with the event corresponding to the
date. I doubt if you posting a notice rises to the level of a significant
event.

"BrianR" wrote in message
...
If you had any sense you'd have noticed that I posted it on the 4th Nov
not the 2nd, hence "November 4th will be a new national holiday".
Obviously too subtle for a Yank!

"Doug Dotson" wrote in message
...
10. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 4th will be a new
national holiday, but only in England. It will be called "Revocation
Day."

You could have at least changed the date to Nov 2

"Figment" wrote in message
...
Notice to Americans of Revocation of Independence from the Government
of Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II


To the citizens of the United States of America: In the light of your
failure to elect a sane President of the United States and thus to
govern yourselves with consideration for the rest of world, we hereby
give notice of the Revocation of your Independence, effective
immediately .

Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties
over all states, commonwealths and other territories. Except Utah,
which she does not fancy.

Your new prime minister (The Rt Hon, Tony Blair, MP for the 97.85% of
you who have until now been unaware that there is a world outside your
borders) will appoint a Minister for America without the need for
further elections.

Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire will be
circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.

To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following
rules are introduced with immediate effect:

1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary.
Then look up "aluminium". Check the pronunciation guide. You will be
amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. Generally, you
should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up
"vocabulary". Using the same twenty seven words interspersed with
filler noises such as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and
inefficient form of communication. Look up "interspersed".

2. There is no such thing as "US English". We will let Microsoft know
on your behalf.

3. Arrest Mel Gibson for treason.

4. You should relearn your original national anthem, "God Save The
Queen", but only after fully carrying out task 1. We would not want you
to get confused and give up half way through.

5. You should stop playing American "football". There is only one kind
of football. What you refer to as American "football" is not a very
good game. The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world outside
your borders may have noticed that no one else plays "American"
football. You will no longer be allowed to play it, and should instead
play proper football. Initially, it would be best if you played with
the girls. It is a difficult game. Those of you brave enough will, in
time, be allowed to play rugby (which is similar to American
"football", but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty
seconds or wearing full Kevlar body armour like nancies). We are hoping
to get together at least a US rugby sevens side by 2005.

6. Stop referring to the "World Series" of Baseball and instead call it
the "USA, Cuba and Japan Championship."

7. Learn to enjoy warm flat beer and steak and kidney pudding. Train
waitresses to be more aggressive with customers and not to tell you
their names before you eat.

8. You should declare war on Quebec and France, using nuclear weapons
if they give you any merde.

9. The 98.85% of you who were not aware that there is a world outside
your borders should count yourselves lucky. The Russians have never
been the "bad guys".

10. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 4th will be a new
national holiday, but only in England. It will be called "Revocation
Day."

11. Driving on the left is now compulsory - recall all cars to effect
the change immediately.

12. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy.

Tax collectors from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly
to ensure the acquisition of all revenues due (backdated to 1776).


Thank you for your cooperation and have a nice day!

Besides, it was only meant as a bit of fun, to brighten up an otherwise
dreary day.


"Figment" wrote in message
...
It's true.
"You can't argue with a fool, because they'll drag you down to their level
and beat you with experience", so I concede defeat. You win.


"Doug Dotson" wrote in message
...
A date is usually associated with the event corresponding to the
date. I doubt if you posting a notice rises to the level of a significant
event.

"BrianR" wrote in message
...
If you had any sense you'd have noticed that I posted it on the 4th Nov
not the 2nd, hence "November 4th will be a new national holiday".
Obviously too subtle for a Yank!

"Doug Dotson" wrote in message
...
10. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 4th will be a new
national holiday, but only in England. It will be called "Revocation
Day."

You could have at least changed the date to Nov 2

"Figment" wrote in message
...
Notice to Americans of Revocation of Independence from the Government
of Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II


To the citizens of the United States of America: In the light of your
failure to elect a sane President of the United States and thus to
govern yourselves with consideration for the rest of world, we hereby
give notice of the Revocation of your Independence, effective
immediately .

Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical
duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories. Except
Utah, which she does not fancy.

Your new prime minister (The Rt Hon, Tony Blair, MP for the 97.85% of
you who have until now been unaware that there is a world outside your
borders) will appoint a Minister for America without the need for
further elections.

Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire will be
circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.

To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following
rules are introduced with immediate effect:

1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary.
Then look up "aluminium". Check the pronunciation guide. You will be
amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. Generally,
you should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up
"vocabulary". Using the same twenty seven words interspersed with
filler noises such as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and
inefficient form of communication. Look up "interspersed".

2. There is no such thing as "US English". We will let Microsoft know
on your behalf.

3. Arrest Mel Gibson for treason.

4. You should relearn your original national anthem, "God Save The
Queen", but only after fully carrying out task 1. We would not want
you to get confused and give up half way through.

5. You should stop playing American "football". There is only one kind
of football. What you refer to as American "football" is not a very
good game. The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world
outside your borders may have noticed that no one else plays
"American" football. You will no longer be allowed to play it, and
should instead play proper football. Initially, it would be best if
you played with the girls. It is a difficult game. Those of you brave
enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which is similar to
American "football", but does not involve stopping for a rest every
twenty seconds or wearing full Kevlar body armour like nancies). We
are hoping to get together at least a US rugby sevens side by 2005.

6. Stop referring to the "World Series" of Baseball and instead call
it the "USA, Cuba and Japan Championship."

7. Learn to enjoy warm flat beer and steak and kidney pudding. Train
waitresses to be more aggressive with customers and not to tell you
their names before you eat.

8. You should declare war on Quebec and France, using nuclear weapons
if they give you any merde.

9. The 98.85% of you who were not aware that there is a world outside
your borders should count yourselves lucky. The Russians have never
been the "bad guys".

10. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 4th will be a new
national holiday, but only in England. It will be called "Revocation
Day."

11. Driving on the left is now compulsory - recall all cars to effect
the change immediately.

12. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy.

Tax collectors from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly
to ensure the acquisition of all revenues due (backdated to 1776).


Thank you for your cooperation and have a nice day!

Bright and sunny here. Haven't seen a dreary day since last
Tuesday. But then again England is famous for its preponderance
of dreary days.


"Figment" wrote in message
news
Besides, it was only meant as a bit of fun, to brighten up an otherwise
dreary day.


"Figment" wrote in message
...
It's true.
"You can't argue with a fool, because they'll drag you down to their
level and beat you with experience", so I concede defeat. You win.


"Doug Dotson" wrote in message
...
A date is usually associated with the event corresponding to the
date. I doubt if you posting a notice rises to the level of a
significant
event.

"BrianR" wrote in message
...
If you had any sense you'd have noticed that I posted it on the 4th Nov
not the 2nd, hence "November 4th will be a new national holiday".
Obviously too subtle for a Yank!

"Doug Dotson" wrote in message
...
10. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 4th will be a new
national holiday, but only in England. It will be called "Revocation
Day."

You could have at least changed the date to Nov 2

"Figment" wrote in message
...
Notice to Americans of Revocation of Independence from the Government
of Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II


To the citizens of the United States of America: In the light of your
failure to elect a sane President of the United States and thus to
govern yourselves with consideration for the rest of world, we hereby
give notice of the Revocation of your Independence, effective
immediately .

Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical
duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories. Except
Utah, which she does not fancy.

Your new prime minister (The Rt Hon, Tony Blair, MP for the 97.85% of
you who have until now been unaware that there is a world outside
your borders) will appoint a Minister for America without the need
for further elections.

Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire will be
circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.

To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following
rules are introduced with immediate effect:

1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary.
Then look up "aluminium". Check the pronunciation guide. You will be
amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. Generally,
you should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up
"vocabulary". Using the same twenty seven words interspersed with
filler noises such as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and
inefficient form of communication. Look up "interspersed".

2. There is no such thing as "US English". We will let Microsoft know
on your behalf.

3. Arrest Mel Gibson for treason.

4. You should relearn your original national anthem, "God Save The
Queen", but only after fully carrying out task 1. We would not want
you to get confused and give up half way through.

5. You should stop playing American "football". There is only one
kind of football. What you refer to as American "football" is not a
very good game. The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world
outside your borders may have noticed that no one else plays
"American" football. You will no longer be allowed to play it, and
should instead play proper football. Initially, it would be best if
you played with the girls. It is a difficult game. Those of you brave
enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which is similar to
American "football", but does not involve stopping for a rest every
twenty seconds or wearing full Kevlar body armour like nancies). We
are hoping to get together at least a US rugby sevens side by 2005.

6. Stop referring to the "World Series" of Baseball and instead call
it the "USA, Cuba and Japan Championship."

7. Learn to enjoy warm flat beer and steak and kidney pudding. Train
waitresses to be more aggressive with customers and not to tell you
their names before you eat.

8. You should declare war on Quebec and France, using nuclear weapons
if they give you any merde.

9. The 98.85% of you who were not aware that there is a world outside
your borders should count yourselves lucky. The Russians have never
been the "bad guys".

10. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 4th will be a
new national holiday, but only in England. It will be called
"Revocation Day."

11. Driving on the left is now compulsory - recall all cars to effect
the change immediately.

12. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy.

Tax collectors from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly
to ensure the acquisition of all revenues due (backdated to 1776).


Thank you for your cooperation and have a nice day!

Doug Dotson wrote:
10. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 4th will be a new
national holiday, but only in England. It will be called "Revocation Day."

You could have at least changed the date to Nov 2

November 2nd already is a holiday. It is "Day of the Dead" in Mexico.