Bright and sunny here. Haven't seen a dreary day since last
Tuesday. But then again England is famous for its preponderance
of dreary days.


"Figment" wrote in message
news
Besides, it was only meant as a bit of fun, to brighten up an otherwise
dreary day.


"Figment" wrote in message
...
It's true.
"You can't argue with a fool, because they'll drag you down to their
level and beat you with experience", so I concede defeat. You win.


"Doug Dotson" wrote in message
...
A date is usually associated with the event corresponding to the
date. I doubt if you posting a notice rises to the level of a
significant
event.

"BrianR" wrote in message
...
If you had any sense you'd have noticed that I posted it on the 4th Nov
not the 2nd, hence "November 4th will be a new national holiday".
Obviously too subtle for a Yank!

"Doug Dotson" wrote in message
...
10. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 4th will be a new
national holiday, but only in England. It will be called "Revocation
Day."

You could have at least changed the date to Nov 2

"Figment" wrote in message
...
Notice to Americans of Revocation of Independence from the Government
of Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II


To the citizens of the United States of America: In the light of your
failure to elect a sane President of the United States and thus to
govern yourselves with consideration for the rest of world, we hereby
give notice of the Revocation of your Independence, effective
immediately .

Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical
duties over all states, commonwealths and other territories. Except
Utah, which she does not fancy.

Your new prime minister (The Rt Hon, Tony Blair, MP for the 97.85% of
you who have until now been unaware that there is a world outside
your borders) will appoint a Minister for America without the need
for further elections.

Congress and the Senate will be disbanded. A questionnaire will be
circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.

To aid in the transition to a British Crown Dependency, the following
rules are introduced with immediate effect:

1. You should look up "revocation" in the Oxford English Dictionary.
Then look up "aluminium". Check the pronunciation guide. You will be
amazed at just how wrongly you have been pronouncing it. Generally,
you should raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. Look up
"vocabulary". Using the same twenty seven words interspersed with
filler noises such as "like" and "you know" is an unacceptable and
inefficient form of communication. Look up "interspersed".

2. There is no such thing as "US English". We will let Microsoft know
on your behalf.

3. Arrest Mel Gibson for treason.

4. You should relearn your original national anthem, "God Save The
Queen", but only after fully carrying out task 1. We would not want
you to get confused and give up half way through.

5. You should stop playing American "football". There is only one
kind of football. What you refer to as American "football" is not a
very good game. The 2.15% of you who are aware that there is a world
outside your borders may have noticed that no one else plays
"American" football. You will no longer be allowed to play it, and
should instead play proper football. Initially, it would be best if
you played with the girls. It is a difficult game. Those of you brave
enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which is similar to
American "football", but does not involve stopping for a rest every
twenty seconds or wearing full Kevlar body armour like nancies). We
are hoping to get together at least a US rugby sevens side by 2005.

6. Stop referring to the "World Series" of Baseball and instead call
it the "USA, Cuba and Japan Championship."

7. Learn to enjoy warm flat beer and steak and kidney pudding. Train
waitresses to be more aggressive with customers and not to tell you
their names before you eat.

8. You should declare war on Quebec and France, using nuclear weapons
if they give you any merde.

9. The 98.85% of you who were not aware that there is a world outside
your borders should count yourselves lucky. The Russians have never
been the "bad guys".

10. July 4th is no longer a public holiday. November 4th will be a
new national holiday, but only in England. It will be called
"Revocation Day."

11. Driving on the left is now compulsory - recall all cars to effect
the change immediately.

12. Please tell us who killed JFK. It's been driving us crazy.

Tax collectors from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly
to ensure the acquisition of all revenues due (backdated to 1776).


Thank you for your cooperation and have a nice day!