On Fri, 7 Mar 2008 10:38:08 -0500, "MMC" wrote:


"Dr. Di" wrote in message
.. .
I'm sorry for your wife..

I think you need to focus more on your marriage than on sailing..
Remember when it was "fun" to do things together, and you couldn't get
enough of her?

I give her credit for going along with your dreams and goals.. Maybe
you should also..

Diana
We used to have episodes like that too. Our sailing experience changed after
I saw the sticker "Have You Flogged Your Crew Today?". I realized I needed
to relax and stop being such a butthole.
Maybe the guys wife is destined to be a passenger or it could be that his
tension is causing her to be stressed out, feeling like she can't do
anything right.
Tension ruins any good time. Hard to have fun when your screaming at
someone. Hard for the person getting screamed at too.
I'd suggest an auto pilot.
MMC

I suspect that problems between partners on a boat are symptomatic of
ongoing difficulties while on shore.. Perhaps the isolation and
confinement merely provide an opportunity to vent pent up emotions and
resentments that may otherwise be suppressed..

On the other hand, it's not just the men that can be captain Blye..
I'm occasionally guilty of that with my husband, who hasn't had the
experience... He loves the sea, and we normally get along very well,
but every now and then I get so frustrated that he's more in my way
than of any help.. It's a kind of role reversal that I'm not proud
of..

In general, I think it best if they learn without constant supervision
and excessive instruction.. Give them a task and let them decide how
best to attack it.. We all made mistakes before, and we will continue
to do so, so maybe we should let those less experienced do likewise..

Diana


On Sun, 10 Feb 2008 19:27:57 -0800 (PST),
wrote:

A nice day, 12 kts and maybe in the 50s. Sailing with wife, 21 yr old
daughter, 11 yr old daughter and another 11 yr old friend. Everybody
takes turns at the tiller. Unfortunately, my wife is simply unable to
steer. EVERYBODY else quickly grasps the idea of feeling the pressure
on the tiller and steering accordingly. She is unable to do so.
Within a minute of closing my eyes and leaning back against the cabin,
I hear the sails flogging and THE DAMNED BOAT IS TACKING. She is
looking puzzled pushing the tiller every which way. I put her back on
course and fortunately my daughter wants to steer. Later, going
downwind, my wife wants to steer again so I tell her, "Keep it on 330
degrees, I'm going below to make a PB sandwich". The two little girls
are blocking the companionway ladder so I ask my little daughter to
make me a sandwich. My wife begins to nag them to get out of the way
so I can do it and I say they can do it and she insists that the kids
clear the ladder and this goes on and on and on and on and.....Suddenly,
the damned boom crashes across. WE'VE FU*&%$G JIBBED! She is so busy
doing what she shouldn't be doing that she allows the boat to jibe
nearly knocking me into the water.
I have had it, she is a menace to everybody around her on the boat.
So, I want to discourage her from ever going sailing again before she
kills someone. Yes, I have tried everything I can think of but she is
simply incapable of steering. Unfortunately, she forgets almost
everything she learns from one sailing trip to another. I have lost
track of the number of times I have taught her how to tie various
knots. I have come to the unfortunate conclusion that she simply
should not be on a boat. Oddly, my daughters seem to do very well.
Yes, I am responsible for what happens on my boat and part of that
responsibility is keeping the inept from hurting others.