On Feb 10, 11:18 pm, Larry wrote:
"Bill Kearney" wrote innews5qdndWKWaGVWDLanZ2dnUVZ_q6mnZ2d@speakeasy. net:

so you're going to have to take a new tack at
dealing with her sailing skills..

PUN! Pun Police, Pun Police!!.....(c;

Occurs to me that my wife also does not like the powerboat (20'
Tolman) because she does not like steering it. Daughter does like it
and handles it confidently. The throttle needs a careful touch to
keep from revving up too high. Wife does not like the powerboat cuz
there is nothing for her to do.
She does not like the 12' MiniCups.
Oughta be enuff data here to form a conclusion but it escapes me.

On Sun, 10 Feb 2008 21:00:13 -0800 (PST),
wrote:

The throttle needs a careful touch to
keep from revving up too high.

Please explain.

Is the prop cavitating? Than can be cured. Other than cavitation
issues it should really not be necessary to baby the throttle.

"Larry" wrote in message
...
"Bill Kearney" wrote in
news
so you're going to have to take a new tack at
dealing with her sailing skills..

PUN! Pun Police, Pun Police!!.....(c;

Yes, caught that did ya? Heh.

"Bill Kearney" wrote in message
news
Try paying for some lessons for her. It'll make a world of difference.

Without you being present. Get her to bring another girlfriend along.
Let them learn at their own pace from someone that's being paid to do it.

Definitely. Don't even watch from shore....


Don't try and teach her yourself. You're too involved emotionally.

Words like "control freak" and "divorce" seem applicable here.

Been there almost did that... learned my lesson.

Just how much good is it going to do for your relationship with your wife
to get so utterly freaked out about it? If she's not grasping it, well,
what's that saying? Is it saying she's dumb as a stone? I'm not guessing
discussing it that way is going to lead in productive directions. Or is
it that she just hates your attitude and is deliberately doing a bad job
of it? My guess is somewhere in between the two.

But hey, you picked her, so you're going to have to take a new tack at
dealing with her sailing skills... or suffer the consequences.

He chased her until she caught him.



--
"j" ganz @@
www.sailnow.com

On Feb 10, 5:27 pm, wrote:
... Unfortunately, my wife is simply unable to
steer. EVERYBODY else ... THE DAMNED BOAT IS TACKING.
... WE'VE FU*&%$G JIBBED! ...
Yes, I am responsible for what happens on my boat and part of that
responsibility is keeping the inept from hurting others.

Aye, Captain, you are responsible for what happens on your boat.
Seems like you're doing a lot of yelling and swearing here and maybe
on the boat, too. Some might like that, I suppose, but most don't.
If the lady can't steer don't leave her alone at the helm. If she's
distractable, don't argue with her while she's steering. If you want
her to learn to sail then get her lessons. If you're just looking for
an excuse to be alone with your daughters you could try telling your
wife that and skip the whole Captain Bligh thing.

-- Tom.

Seems like you're doing a lot of yelling and swearing here and maybe
on the boat, too. Some might like that, I suppose, but most don't.

I once heard a saying "the amount of yelling from the captain is directly
proptional to how scared he is".

On 2008-02-10 22:27:57 -0500, said:

She is so busy doing what she shouldn't be doing that she allows the
boat to jibe nearly knocking me into the water. I have had it, she is a
menace to everybody around her on the boat.

I have come to the unfortunate conclusion that she simply should not be
on a boat. Oddly, my daughters seem to do very well. Yes, I am
responsible for what happens on my boat and part of that responsibility
is keeping the inept from hurting others.

There's a real simple solution: Don't have her control the boat (or
anything on it) unless she really wants to. Let the kids have all the
time they want of course. (but don't push them, either.)

If she wants to sail the boat, let her do it when and where it's safe,
but don't expect her to "get" it immediately and do NOT instruct her
unless she asks. Your sole job is to keep a close enough watch to
quickly take over to keep her from breaking something and to stay
*quiet*. Who cares if you actually get anywhere for that bit? Who cares
if the jib or course isn't exactly correct? (and that boom should be
prevented, anyway.)

To keep the family going out, make it fun for each of them.

Pat's a better sailor than she thinks, but because she's
hyper-sensitive to her "mistakes", I usually single-hand as she lounges
about. To keep her skills current, I'll occasionally "pass out" or find
some other reason to put her on the tiller for a while. [Oh, she also
"forgets" everything between season. When it has to be done too quickly
for her to *think* about it, she gets it right.]

When I was doing my pilot's training, I sometimes would amaze at the
instructor sitting to my right, his arms comfortably folded across his
chest. He looked so calm as he entrusted his life to my inexperienced
hands. Wasn't until I made a real mistake that I realized that was the
position from which he could most quickly reach the wheel. He rarely
commented as I was doing something, would only instruct before and say
"you could do it better by...." afterwards.

Yes, they're not going to be very good at first.

Neither were we.

--
Jere Lull
Tanzer 28 #4 out of Tolchester, MD
Xan's pages: http://web.mac.com/jerelull/iWeb/Xan/
Our BVI trips & tips: http://homepage.mac.com/jerelull/BVI/

On Feb 10, 7:27*pm, wrote:


Thats why I sail by myself........ youre doomed.

When my daugter was 10 yo I would ask her if she wanted to go sailing.
SOmetimes she said yes if she didnt have a sleep over or somthing more
important to a ten yo. On board I described all the jobs there were on
a boat. Then asked which one she wanted to do One of the jobs was
passanger, when she was 14 i created a new nob. DeeJay/ She liked that
job lots for a while. She stoped wanting to go sailing after a while.
that was cool. now I sail by myself.

My daughter is 20 now and I am single. Ahh, sweet silence and a
daugher who loves her dad.
The best of both worlds
Bob

Bob wrote:
On Feb 10, 7:27 pm, wrote:

Thats why I sail by myself........ youre doomed.

When my daugter was 10 yo I would ask her if she wanted to go sailing.
SOmetimes she said yes if she didnt have a sleep over or somthing more
important to a ten yo. On board I described all the jobs there were on
a boat. Then asked which one she wanted to do One of the jobs was
passanger, when she was 14 i created a new nob. DeeJay/ She liked that
job lots for a while. She stoped wanting to go sailing after a while.
that was cool. now I sail by myself.

My daughter is 20 now and I am single. Ahh, sweet silence and a
daugher who loves her dad.
The best of both worlds
Bob

Last year I gave 16yo ultimatum, get a job or go on vacation with Dad.
You are NOT going to lay around the house all summer. Having had a job
for the last three years this did not sound like too much of a threat in
February. However......................................

She ended up with me. ****ed and grumpy and foul.

To be fair to her it was a tough trip. To be fair to me she was bound
and determined to make me, and everyone in contact, miserable. There is
miserable and then there is rude. 90% of her time was spent holding
down the settee cushion while playing some computer game. The funny
thing is that the one thing she enjoyed on the whole trip was helping me
do some rewiring. She did a good job (except with that whole +/- thing,
ya know) and even later said that it was "enjoyable." Go figure.

I have had the boat three summers. Done about 2000 miles. Before
taking delivery I had Wife and Daughter do a keel boat course. Wife
studied for test and got 96, Daughter watched Capt Bob and got a 92.
Wife has sailed onboard ONCE. Still gets "pointy end" confused with
"other end." Wears Scopalomine to go to West Marine. She will be ground
crew as long as I don't climb mast (I hate this @#$@ boat and I @#$#$@
hate you!!!!!!!.) BTW I have steps, and harness, and have worked as
lineman. Wife insisted I sign a pre-boatual agreement that I would keep
my "mistress" out of her sight.

Once they went home I had some of the most lovely and peaceful and
tranquil sailing. Just wonderful...........and lonely.

Ah, the enigma.

wrote:
A nice day, 12 kts and maybe in the 50s. Sailing with wife, 21 yr old
daughter, 11 yr old daughter and another 11 yr old friend. Everybody
takes turns at the tiller. Unfortunately, my wife is simply unable to
steer. EVERYBODY else quickly grasps the idea of feeling the pressure
on the tiller and steering accordingly. She is unable to do so.
Within a minute of closing my eyes and leaning back against the cabin,
I hear the sails flogging and THE DAMNED BOAT IS TACKING. She is
looking puzzled pushing the tiller every which way. I put her back on
course and fortunately my daughter wants to steer. Later, going
downwind, my wife wants to steer again so I tell her, "Keep it on 330
degrees, I'm going below to make a PB sandwich". The two little girls
are blocking the companionway ladder so I ask my little daughter to
make me a sandwich. My wife begins to nag them to get out of the way
so I can do it and I say they can do it and she insists that the kids
clear the ladder and this goes on and on and on and on and.....Suddenly,
the damned boom crashes across. WE'VE FU*&%$G JIBBED! She is so busy
doing what she shouldn't be doing that she allows the boat to jibe
nearly knocking me into the water.
I have had it, she is a menace to everybody around her on the boat.
So, I want to discourage her from ever going sailing again before she
kills someone. Yes, I have tried everything I can think of but she is
simply incapable of steering. Unfortunately, she forgets almost
everything she learns from one sailing trip to another. I have lost
track of the number of times I have taught her how to tie various
knots. I have come to the unfortunate conclusion that she simply
should not be on a boat. Oddly, my daughters seem to do very well.
Yes, I am responsible for what happens on my boat and part of that
responsibility is keeping the inept from hurting others.

I can understand banning her from steering and tying knots, but why ban
her from the boat entirely? Is she able to sit and enjoy the ride safely?

Stephen