"Bill Kearney" wrote in message
news
Try paying for some lessons for her. It'll make a world of difference.

Without you being present. Get her to bring another girlfriend along.
Let them learn at their own pace from someone that's being paid to do it.

Definitely. Don't even watch from shore....


Don't try and teach her yourself. You're too involved emotionally.

Words like "control freak" and "divorce" seem applicable here.

Been there almost did that... learned my lesson.

Just how much good is it going to do for your relationship with your wife
to get so utterly freaked out about it? If she's not grasping it, well,
what's that saying? Is it saying she's dumb as a stone? I'm not guessing
discussing it that way is going to lead in productive directions. Or is
it that she just hates your attitude and is deliberately doing a bad job
of it? My guess is somewhere in between the two.

But hey, you picked her, so you're going to have to take a new tack at
dealing with her sailing skills... or suffer the consequences.

He chased her until she caught him.



--
"j" ganz @@
www.sailnow.com

wrote:
A nice day, 12 kts and maybe in the 50s. Sailing with wife, 21 yr old
daughter, 11 yr old daughter and another 11 yr old friend. Everybody
takes turns at the tiller. Unfortunately, my wife is simply unable to
steer. EVERYBODY else quickly grasps the idea of feeling the pressure
on the tiller and steering accordingly. She is unable to do so.
Within a minute of closing my eyes and leaning back against the cabin,
I hear the sails flogging and THE DAMNED BOAT IS TACKING. She is
looking puzzled pushing the tiller every which way. I put her back on
course and fortunately my daughter wants to steer. Later, going
downwind, my wife wants to steer again so I tell her, "Keep it on 330
degrees, I'm going below to make a PB sandwich". The two little girls
are blocking the companionway ladder so I ask my little daughter to
make me a sandwich. My wife begins to nag them to get out of the way
so I can do it and I say they can do it and she insists that the kids
clear the ladder and this goes on and on and on and on and.....Suddenly,
the damned boom crashes across. WE'VE FU*&%$G JIBBED! She is so busy
doing what she shouldn't be doing that she allows the boat to jibe
nearly knocking me into the water.
I have had it, she is a menace to everybody around her on the boat.
So, I want to discourage her from ever going sailing again before she
kills someone. Yes, I have tried everything I can think of but she is
simply incapable of steering. Unfortunately, she forgets almost
everything she learns from one sailing trip to another. I have lost
track of the number of times I have taught her how to tie various
knots. I have come to the unfortunate conclusion that she simply
should not be on a boat. Oddly, my daughters seem to do very well.
Yes, I am responsible for what happens on my boat and part of that
responsibility is keeping the inept from hurting others.

I can understand banning her from steering and tying knots, but why ban
her from the boat entirely? Is she able to sit and enjoy the ride safely?

Stephen

On 2008-02-10 22:27:57 -0500, said:

A nice day, 12 kts and maybe in the 50s. Sailing with wife, 21 yr old
daughter, 11 yr old daughter and another 11 yr old friend. Everybody
takes turns at the tiller. Unfortunately, my wife is simply unable to
steer. EVERYBODY else quickly grasps the idea of feeling the pressure
on the tiller and steering accordingly. She is unable to do so.
Within a minute of closing my eyes and leaning back against the cabin,
I hear the sails flogging and THE DAMNED BOAT IS TACKING. She is
looking puzzled pushing the tiller every which way. I put her back on
course and fortunately my daughter wants to steer. Later, going
downwind, my wife wants to steer again so I tell her, "Keep it on 330
degrees, I'm going below to make a PB sandwich". The two little girls
are blocking the companionway ladder so I ask my little daughter to
make me a sandwich. My wife begins to nag them to get out of the way
so I can do it and I say they can do it and she insists that the kids
clear the ladder and this goes on and on and on and on and.....Suddenly,
the damned boom crashes across. WE'VE FU*&%$G JIBBED! She is so busy
doing what she shouldn't be doing that she allows the boat to jibe
nearly knocking me into the water.
I have had it, she is a menace to everybody around her on the boat.
So, I want to discourage her from ever going sailing again before she
kills someone. Yes, I have tried everything I can think of but she is
simply incapable of steering. Unfortunately, she forgets almost
everything she learns from one sailing trip to another. I have lost
track of the number of times I have taught her how to tie various
knots. I have come to the unfortunate conclusion that she simply
should not be on a boat. Oddly, my daughters seem to do very well.
Yes, I am responsible for what happens on my boat and part of that
responsibility is keeping the inept from hurting others.

So your wife doesn't like and isn't good at steering. So what? It
sounds like you had plenty of other people there to steer. Perhaps you
are part of the problem. Like most women, yelling and cursing at me
improves neither my memory or my skills, but it sure does ruin my
attitude! Judging by the cursing you're doing here, I find it hard to
believe you were calm, pleasant and tactful about "correcting" your
wife.

Is there any reason your wife can't just be a passenger on your boat?
Or is the problem that you really don't like your wife much (as it
seems from your post) and you're using the boat to get away from her?

Ruby

"Larry" wrote in message
...
"Bill Kearney" wrote in
news
so you're going to have to take a new tack at
dealing with her sailing skills..

PUN! Pun Police, Pun Police!!.....(c;

Yes, caught that did ya? Heh.

Seems like you're doing a lot of yelling and swearing here and maybe
on the boat, too. Some might like that, I suppose, but most don't.

I once heard a saying "the amount of yelling from the captain is directly
proptional to how scared he is".

Well.. this may be a ploy. You will end up chasing after another woman.
Get caught. Your wife, she will sue for divorce. Take the boat and a whole
bunch of everything else.

And: sail off with her NEW man, Mr Captain Mustles.

You better watch out .. !!!

====
wrote in message
...
A nice day, 12 kts and maybe in the 50s. Sailing with wife, 21 yr old
daughter, 11 yr old daughter and another 11 yr old friend. Everybody
takes turns at the tiller. Unfortunately, my wife is simply unable to
steer. EVERYBODY else quickly grasps the idea of feeling the pressure
on the tiller and steering accordingly. She is unable to do so.
Within a minute of closing my eyes and leaning back against the cabin,
I hear the sails flogging and THE DAMNED BOAT IS TACKING. She is
looking puzzled pushing the tiller every which way. I put her back on
course and fortunately my daughter wants to steer. Later, going
downwind, my wife wants to steer again so I tell her, "Keep it on 330
degrees, I'm going below to make a PB sandwich". The two little girls
are blocking the companionway ladder so I ask my little daughter to
make me a sandwich. My wife begins to nag them to get out of the way
so I can do it and I say they can do it and she insists that the kids
clear the ladder and this goes on and on and on and on and.....Suddenly,
the damned boom crashes across. WE'VE FU*&%$G JIBBED! She is so busy
doing what she shouldn't be doing that she allows the boat to jibe
nearly knocking me into the water.
I have had it, she is a menace to everybody around her on the boat.
So, I want to discourage her from ever going sailing again before she
kills someone. Yes, I have tried everything I can think of but she is
simply incapable of steering. Unfortunately, she forgets almost
everything she learns from one sailing trip to another. I have lost
track of the number of times I have taught her how to tie various
knots. I have come to the unfortunate conclusion that she simply
should not be on a boat. Oddly, my daughters seem to do very well.
Yes, I am responsible for what happens on my boat and part of that
responsibility is keeping the inept from hurting others.

wrote in message
...
A nice day, 12 kts and maybe in the 50s. Sailing with wife, 21 yr old
daughter, 11 yr old daughter and another 11 yr old friend. Everybody
takes turns at the tiller. Unfortunately, my wife is simply unable to
steer. EVERYBODY else quickly grasps the idea of feeling the pressure
on the tiller and steering accordingly. She is unable to do so.
snip...

Are you still in sight of land? Picking a certain landmark to aim at might
help her.
Otherwise , why fight it. Get a tiller tamer for when you need a break and
put her in charge of the jib.

Bob wrote:
On Feb 10, 7:27 pm, wrote:

Thats why I sail by myself........ youre doomed.

When my daugter was 10 yo I would ask her if she wanted to go sailing.
SOmetimes she said yes if she didnt have a sleep over or somthing more
important to a ten yo. On board I described all the jobs there were on
a boat. Then asked which one she wanted to do One of the jobs was
passanger, when she was 14 i created a new nob. DeeJay/ She liked that
job lots for a while. She stoped wanting to go sailing after a while.
that was cool. now I sail by myself.

My daughter is 20 now and I am single. Ahh, sweet silence and a
daugher who loves her dad.
The best of both worlds
Bob

Last year I gave 16yo ultimatum, get a job or go on vacation with Dad.
You are NOT going to lay around the house all summer. Having had a job
for the last three years this did not sound like too much of a threat in
February. However......................................

She ended up with me. ****ed and grumpy and foul.

To be fair to her it was a tough trip. To be fair to me she was bound
and determined to make me, and everyone in contact, miserable. There is
miserable and then there is rude. 90% of her time was spent holding
down the settee cushion while playing some computer game. The funny
thing is that the one thing she enjoyed on the whole trip was helping me
do some rewiring. She did a good job (except with that whole +/- thing,
ya know) and even later said that it was "enjoyable." Go figure.

I have had the boat three summers. Done about 2000 miles. Before
taking delivery I had Wife and Daughter do a keel boat course. Wife
studied for test and got 96, Daughter watched Capt Bob and got a 92.
Wife has sailed onboard ONCE. Still gets "pointy end" confused with
"other end." Wears Scopalomine to go to West Marine. She will be ground
crew as long as I don't climb mast (I hate this @#$@ boat and I @#$#$@
hate you!!!!!!!.) BTW I have steps, and harness, and have worked as
lineman. Wife insisted I sign a pre-boatual agreement that I would keep
my "mistress" out of her sight.

Once they went home I had some of the most lovely and peaceful and
tranquil sailing. Just wonderful...........and lonely.

Ah, the enigma.

be happy she wants to come with you, mine is scared from sailing
anyway, though we have a stable 43' cat.....

David,

I feel your pain.Have you ever taken your wife in for a mental evaluation?
It is possible that she may suffer from some degree of attention deficit
disorder. No amount of instruction, hand holding and the like will ever
overcome the unlimited fustration and havoc she causes. It is very possible
that she excels at some things but fails miserably at others. Understanding
ADD will help you to accept the things you can't change and even more
important to know what to expect and how to avoid situations altogether.
Your goal in life should be your happiness first and the happiness of your
family comes second. You can't make your wife happy just like you can't make
her understand things. She just doesn't have the capacity for that. The fact
that you get along well with your daughters points the finger of blame
squarely at your wife. Drop her some hints such as ot taking her sailing,
excluding her from family activities, etc and soom she will realize that you
are serious. Get her to go to a mental health professional for evaluation,
not an MD. Meet with the professional beforehand to fill him in on the
problems and to check out the person. Many in the mental health profession
have no mental health themselves and are champions of those with arrested
development. Find the underlying causes and then you can treat the disease.

Ron