On 2008-02-10 22:27:57 -0500, said:

A nice day, 12 kts and maybe in the 50s. Sailing with wife, 21 yr old
daughter, 11 yr old daughter and another 11 yr old friend. Everybody
takes turns at the tiller. Unfortunately, my wife is simply unable to
steer. EVERYBODY else quickly grasps the idea of feeling the pressure
on the tiller and steering accordingly. She is unable to do so.
Within a minute of closing my eyes and leaning back against the cabin,
I hear the sails flogging and THE DAMNED BOAT IS TACKING. She is
looking puzzled pushing the tiller every which way. I put her back on
course and fortunately my daughter wants to steer. Later, going
downwind, my wife wants to steer again so I tell her, "Keep it on 330
degrees, I'm going below to make a PB sandwich". The two little girls
are blocking the companionway ladder so I ask my little daughter to
make me a sandwich. My wife begins to nag them to get out of the way
so I can do it and I say they can do it and she insists that the kids
clear the ladder and this goes on and on and on and on and.....Suddenly,
the damned boom crashes across. WE'VE FU*&%$G JIBBED! She is so busy
doing what she shouldn't be doing that she allows the boat to jibe
nearly knocking me into the water.
I have had it, she is a menace to everybody around her on the boat.
So, I want to discourage her from ever going sailing again before she
kills someone. Yes, I have tried everything I can think of but she is
simply incapable of steering. Unfortunately, she forgets almost
everything she learns from one sailing trip to another. I have lost
track of the number of times I have taught her how to tie various
knots. I have come to the unfortunate conclusion that she simply
should not be on a boat. Oddly, my daughters seem to do very well.
Yes, I am responsible for what happens on my boat and part of that
responsibility is keeping the inept from hurting others.

So your wife doesn't like and isn't good at steering. So what? It
sounds like you had plenty of other people there to steer. Perhaps you
are part of the problem. Like most women, yelling and cursing at me
improves neither my memory or my skills, but it sure does ruin my
attitude! Judging by the cursing you're doing here, I find it hard to
believe you were calm, pleasant and tactful about "correcting" your
wife.

Is there any reason your wife can't just be a passenger on your boat?
Or is the problem that you really don't like your wife much (as it
seems from your post) and you're using the boat to get away from her?

Ruby

Well.. this may be a ploy. You will end up chasing after another woman.
Get caught. Your wife, she will sue for divorce. Take the boat and a whole
bunch of everything else.

And: sail off with her NEW man, Mr Captain Mustles.

You better watch out .. !!!

====
wrote in message
...
A nice day, 12 kts and maybe in the 50s. Sailing with wife, 21 yr old
daughter, 11 yr old daughter and another 11 yr old friend. Everybody
takes turns at the tiller. Unfortunately, my wife is simply unable to
steer. EVERYBODY else quickly grasps the idea of feeling the pressure
on the tiller and steering accordingly. She is unable to do so.
Within a minute of closing my eyes and leaning back against the cabin,
I hear the sails flogging and THE DAMNED BOAT IS TACKING. She is
looking puzzled pushing the tiller every which way. I put her back on
course and fortunately my daughter wants to steer. Later, going
downwind, my wife wants to steer again so I tell her, "Keep it on 330
degrees, I'm going below to make a PB sandwich". The two little girls
are blocking the companionway ladder so I ask my little daughter to
make me a sandwich. My wife begins to nag them to get out of the way
so I can do it and I say they can do it and she insists that the kids
clear the ladder and this goes on and on and on and on and.....Suddenly,
the damned boom crashes across. WE'VE FU*&%$G JIBBED! She is so busy
doing what she shouldn't be doing that she allows the boat to jibe
nearly knocking me into the water.
I have had it, she is a menace to everybody around her on the boat.
So, I want to discourage her from ever going sailing again before she
kills someone. Yes, I have tried everything I can think of but she is
simply incapable of steering. Unfortunately, she forgets almost
everything she learns from one sailing trip to another. I have lost
track of the number of times I have taught her how to tie various
knots. I have come to the unfortunate conclusion that she simply
should not be on a boat. Oddly, my daughters seem to do very well.
Yes, I am responsible for what happens on my boat and part of that
responsibility is keeping the inept from hurting others.

wrote in message
...
A nice day, 12 kts and maybe in the 50s. Sailing with wife, 21 yr old
daughter, 11 yr old daughter and another 11 yr old friend. Everybody
takes turns at the tiller. Unfortunately, my wife is simply unable to
steer. EVERYBODY else quickly grasps the idea of feeling the pressure
on the tiller and steering accordingly. She is unable to do so.
snip...

Are you still in sight of land? Picking a certain landmark to aim at might
help her.
Otherwise , why fight it. Get a tiller tamer for when you need a break and
put her in charge of the jib.

be happy she wants to come with you, mine is scared from sailing
anyway, though we have a stable 43' cat.....

David,

I feel your pain.Have you ever taken your wife in for a mental evaluation?
It is possible that she may suffer from some degree of attention deficit
disorder. No amount of instruction, hand holding and the like will ever
overcome the unlimited fustration and havoc she causes. It is very possible
that she excels at some things but fails miserably at others. Understanding
ADD will help you to accept the things you can't change and even more
important to know what to expect and how to avoid situations altogether.
Your goal in life should be your happiness first and the happiness of your
family comes second. You can't make your wife happy just like you can't make
her understand things. She just doesn't have the capacity for that. The fact
that you get along well with your daughters points the finger of blame
squarely at your wife. Drop her some hints such as ot taking her sailing,
excluding her from family activities, etc and soom she will realize that you
are serious. Get her to go to a mental health professional for evaluation,
not an MD. Meet with the professional beforehand to fill him in on the
problems and to check out the person. Many in the mental health profession
have no mental health themselves and are champions of those with arrested
development. Find the underlying causes and then you can treat the disease.

Ron

Let's see if I have this: On the sailboat, she screws something up,
you fix it and get ****ed off at her, she gets ****ed off at you and
then sulks/ or fumes or does something else she knows will **** you
off--and perhaps that you will also have to fix first.
She doesn't do it in the car, or apparently in many other places.
(Just a thought, but how much did you pay for that boat, anyway?
Enough to have put in a pool/redone the kitchen/gotten a Winnebago/
done something else she would have wanted instead?)
I wonder if she goes on your boat trips to enjoy the boat, or to
engage with you in the script the two of you seem to follow. She
jibes, you get mad and straighten out the boat. She slows the boat to
a crawl, you are expected to start the motor to get the speed back up
(that's so you'll notice how much she's slowed the boat. And maybe get
mad). She tells the kids to get out of the c'way, you get mad and
straighten things out and send one down to make your sandwich. It
sounds pretty predictable. And it takes two.
An attention deficit problem isn't necessary to explain her behavior,
when you consider that she can't do it without a partner to play
along. ADD would be evident in many other ways. You'd both know it by
now. Not many MH people can diagnose it accurately, anyway.
Instead the two of you make a very good team. It's just too bad the
result for both of you, at least in these instances, is pain.
Can you deviate from the script? Let her fix her screw-ups herself
(ok, not the accidental jibes, but some of the others)? If she really
wants to learn to sail, the others are right, send her to a school. If
she just wants to engage you in the ritual, you need to change what
you do, not what she does.
JV

On Feb 10, 7:27*pm, wrote:

Yes, I am responsible for what happens on my boat and part of that
responsibility is keeping the inept from hurting others.

Hey,

So PLEASE help me out here. Why do guys feel compelled to share and
include otheres in their enjoyment. SInce when did you become the
center of the univers where you belive everyone want to do what you
what to do?

Go sailing by yourself. If some one BEGS to go say okay. When they get
on the boat say, ":sit over there and dont stand up."

Or am imissing something here???

Bob

Bob wrote:
On Feb 10, 7:27 pm, wrote:

Yes, I am responsible for what happens on my boat and part of that
responsibility is keeping the inept from hurting others.

Hey,

So PLEASE help me out here. Why do guys feel compelled to share and
include otheres in their enjoyment. SInce when did you become the
center of the univers where you belive everyone want to do what you
what to do?

Go sailing by yourself. If some one BEGS to go say okay. When they get
on the boat say, ":sit over there and dont stand up."

Or am imissing something here???

Bob

Oh, so now you want us to grow up!

Is Bob short for Roberta?

Seriously, good point. My downfall is that I miss sharing my joy with
my Wife.

Bob wrote:
On Feb 10, 7:27 pm, wrote:

Yes, I am responsible for what happens on my boat and part of that
responsibility is keeping the inept from hurting others.

Hey,

So PLEASE help me out here. Why do guys feel compelled to share and
include otheres in their enjoyment. SInce when did you become the
center of the univers where you belive everyone want to do what you
what to do?

Go sailing by yourself. If some one BEGS to go say okay. When they get
on the boat say, ":sit over there and dont stand up."

Or am imissing something here???

Bob

Oh, so now you want us to grow up!

Is Bob short for Roberta?

Seriously, good point.

If you are missing something it is that OHare's situation seems to be a
little different, she wants to come and take part but mucks it up.

I have some of that. The reason I got the boat is because she refused
to go on vacation. So "If you don't go you don't get to vote on what I
do when you are not there." Now I got the boat and she wants to come
for two weeks but avoid the boat. Which means I have to be at some
place at a time specific to meet her.

AAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!

I would love to have her come along and join in. If not stay home and
let me enjoy.

Hopefully this year will be better. No long transits, I will have a
home port

On Feb 12, 4:58*am, hpeer wrote:


Is Bob short for Roberta?

Not yet ....

she wants to come and take part but mucks it up.

Tell her NO. Tell her GO LEARN HOW TO SAIL THEN MAYBE.

The reason I got the boat is because she refused
to go on vacation.

That is simple. GO on vacation by yoursef. Take a kid fo a special Dad-
Daughte Day.... week. besides, kids like to have alone time wih their
Dad.

*Now I got the boat and she wants to come
for two weeks.

Please say no... Some things are left done seperat. Did you go see teh
movie Ya Ya SIisterhood with your wife too?
Okay, try this. Tell her shes using the wrong kind of tampon, go to
the store and get a diffrent brand/type. Next time shes on the rag
shove one up there and say... see aint that better hunny. Daddy knows
best .She might get the idea there are some areas of activity that
should be left seperate.


I would love to have her come along and join in. *If not stay home and
let me enjoy.


Why??? She is who she is???? Lokk, ya want cute athletic smart,
funny, warm, enjoyale, someone who works well in a team, and knows
boats.......Get an 22 yo college hottie from the sailing team.for
crew. Tell your eife shes dangerous and will injur your children.
thats why you got this hot babe. then when the kids start comming home
sayiing how much fun ther new gsailing girl is......... well ......

Hopefully this year will be better.

More of the same will get you more of the same. Stop ruining everyones
life. Go sailing without yor wife. Just say no!

Bob, single and LOVING it!