One of the most essential aspects of helping is, BEING ABLE TO TAKE A HINT!,
for crying out loud. It seems quite unfair that I'm going to be branded as
an asshole by this fellow and his dockmates just because he couldn't let it
go after three polite brush offs. At that level of communication, how is he
going to be able to help me dock?

And, he tried to stop the boat by pushing hard on the top of the lifeline
stanchion because he thought it should stop a couple feet earlier in the
slip than I did. Someday after I have time to pull major parts of the
interior out, the stanchion bases will be strong enough for this abuse but
I'm not there yet.

--
Roger Long

On Aug 13, 9:07 am, "Roger Long" wrote:
One of the most essential aspects of helping is, BEING ABLE TO TAKE A HINT!,
for crying out loud. It seems quite unfair that I'm going to be branded as
an asshole by this fellow and his dockmates just because he couldn't let it
go after three polite brush offs. At that level of communication, how is he
going to be able to help me dock?

And, he tried to stop the boat by pushing hard on the top of the lifeline
stanchion because he thought it should stop a couple feet earlier in the
slip than I did. Someday after I have time to pull major parts of the
interior out, the stanchion bases will be strong enough for this abuse but
I'm not there yet.

--
Roger Long

I have to agree with others Roger, you hurt the fellows feelings and
he's going to make sure everyone on the dock knows how you dis'ed
him.

The proper thing to do is train your crew to instruct dock helpers
and warn them of things they can do wrong. Send the guy to the stern..
or better yet to the other side to catch the last line your tossing.
Then offer the guy a cold beer and send him on his way. IMO it's
better to have a person on the dock offering help then to not have one
when you really need one. Had he snapped off your weak lifeline
stanchions it might have been a blessing in disquise. Rather have him
rip it off it at the dock, than some big clumsey teen doing it at sea
as he goes over the side.

Joe

"Joe" wrote

I have to agree with others Roger.

Well, good thing it isn't a vote. You're all all wet on this one.

Offering to help is wonderful. Forcing it on someone after a polite decline
is obnoxious and unhelpful. Being ****ed off that an offer of help is
declined is juvenile.

The stanchions are not going to rip off but avoiding unnecessary straining
and abuse is imporant to being sure they will hold up when you need them.
Even if they did break, fixing them after they have saved someones life is
one thing; after some gibboni has exercised his ignorance and juvenile
insistance on them is another. They are strong enough to keep a falling
person aboard.

Surely you jest about training young crew to deal with adults who barge into
the process. This isn't a large sail training vessel (something with which
I have a fair amount of experience). It's just me with a couple of sons who
really aren't into it all that much and don't want to be "trained". It was
a rare moment that they wanted to be part of operating a boat they know I
single hand frequently and this fellow's social ineptness squandered the
opportunity.

I can live with a fellow whose feelings are this easily hurt thinking I'm a
jerk.

--
Roger Long

On Aug 13, 10:38 am, "Roger Long" wrote:
"Joe" wrote



I have to agree with others Roger.

Well, good thing it isn't a vote. You're all all wet on this one.

Offering to help is wonderful. Forcing it on someone after a polite decline
is obnoxious and unhelpful.

Yes it is, but why compound the problem with a bad attitude. Perhaps
he mistakenly thought you were about to scratch your gel coat and
wanted to be your hero.

Being ****ed off that an offer of help is
declined is juvenile.

Depends on your tone in declining Roger.

The stanchions are not going to rip off but avoiding unnecessary straining
and abuse is imporant to being sure they will hold up when you need them.
Even if they did break, fixing them after they have saved someones life is
one thing; after some gibboni has exercised his ignorance and juvenile
insistance on them is another. They are strong enough to keep a falling
person aboard.

If you say so Roger.
Most equipment I have aboard that starts with the word "life" has to
be the best maintained equipment aboard my vessel. If I have any
question as to its sea-worthyness I stop everything else and focus on
getting that right. Half assed is not good enough.


Surely you jest about training young crew to deal with adults who barge into
the process.

I'm not joking. You're the Captain and should instruct your crew on
everything you might encounter while docking. I always have a meeting
with new crew and tell each one what I expect them to do when we dock.
Maybe with a better understanding of what to expect your teen boys
might be more into it. If the dockflys get to thick on landing, you
need to make some nice heavy monkey's fist and teach the kids how to
clear the docks with em. You could knock the BFF off the dock and
still be his friend.


This isn't a large sail training vessel (something with which
I have a fair amount of experience). It's just me with a couple of sons who
really aren't into it all that much and don't want to be "trained".

Well I guess a tour in the Navy is out for them. Too bad.

If someones not willing to learn, (not trained like a monkey) I do
not want them aboard.

It was
a rare moment that they wanted to be part of operating a boat they know I
single hand frequently and this fellow's social ineptness squandered the
opportunity.

Sounds like it's going to be rarer then ever now.

I can live with a fellow whose feelings are this easily hurt thinking I'm a
jerk.


Roger that!

Here is a poem for you Roger.

Read it to your boys.

[IF]

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you
But make allowance for their doubting too,
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:
If you can dream--and not make dreams your master,
If you can think--and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings--nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much,
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And--which is more--you'll be a Man, my son!


--Rudyard Kipling

Joe


--
Roger Long

Joe wrote in news:1187015440.449612.100140
@d55g2000hsg.googlegroups.com:

Had he snapped off your weak lifeline
stanchions it might have been a blessing in disquise. Rather have him
rip it off it at the dock, than some big clumsey teen doing it at sea
as he goes over the side.


I was thinking the same thing. Move those lifelines way up on the list of
things to get fixed, FIRST.

Retrieving dead kids while trying to think of what you're going to say to a
grieving mother is a great excuse to get them fixed NOW, not later.

"Roger Long" wrote in message
...
One of the most essential aspects of helping is, BEING ABLE TO TAKE A
HINT!, for crying out loud. It seems quite unfair that I'm going to be
branded as an asshole by this fellow and his dockmates just because he
couldn't let it go after three polite brush offs. At that level of
communication, how is he going to be able to help me dock?

And, he tried to stop the boat by pushing hard on the top of the lifeline
stanchion because he thought it should stop a couple feet earlier in the
slip than I did. Someday after I have time to pull major parts of the
interior out, the stanchion bases will be strong enough for this abuse but
I'm not there yet.

--
Roger Long



He's one guy, not a crowd. Most people judge for themselves, especially
sailors. If they're sailors, and you conduct yourself properly, he will
remain one voice among many.

--
"j" ganz @@
www.sailnow.com

"Capt. JG" wrote in message
...
"Roger Long" wrote in message
...
One of the most essential aspects of helping is, BEING ABLE TO TAKE A
HINT!, for crying out loud. It seems quite unfair that I'm going to be
branded as an asshole by this fellow and his dockmates just because he
couldn't let it go after three polite brush offs. At that level of
communication, how is he going to be able to help me dock?

And, he tried to stop the boat by pushing hard on the top of the lifeline
stanchion because he thought it should stop a couple feet earlier in the
slip than I did. Someday after I have time to pull major parts of the
interior out, the stanchion bases will be strong enough for this abuse
but I'm not there yet.

--
Roger Long



He's one guy, not a crowd. Most people judge for themselves, especially
sailors. If they're sailors, and you conduct yourself properly, he will
remain one voice among many.

--
"j" ganz @@
www.sailnow.com




And drunks being drunks, chances are he won't remember the incident at all
by now. Or will be utterly embarrassed by it.

"KLC Lewis" wrote in message
...

"Capt. JG" wrote in message
...
"Roger Long" wrote in message
...
One of the most essential aspects of helping is, BEING ABLE TO TAKE A
HINT!, for crying out loud. It seems quite unfair that I'm going to be
branded as an asshole by this fellow and his dockmates just because he
couldn't let it go after three polite brush offs. At that level of
communication, how is he going to be able to help me dock?

And, he tried to stop the boat by pushing hard on the top of the
lifeline stanchion because he thought it should stop a couple feet
earlier in the slip than I did. Someday after I have time to pull major
parts of the interior out, the stanchion bases will be strong enough for
this abuse but I'm not there yet.

--
Roger Long



He's one guy, not a crowd. Most people judge for themselves, especially
sailors. If they're sailors, and you conduct yourself properly, he will
remain one voice among many.

--
"j" ganz @@
www.sailnow.com




And drunks being drunks, chances are he won't remember the incident at all
by now. Or will be utterly embarrassed by it.

I'm astonished by how often this is true... at least the former.

--
"j" ganz @@
www.sailnow.com

He's one guy, not a crowd. Most people judge for themselves, especially
sailors. If they're sailors, and you conduct yourself properly, he will
remain one voice among many.


I agree with this. In a marina I once stayed in, this liveaboard who
knew EVERYONE in the marina was bad mouthing this one new sailor who
pulled in on his dock. He was one of those liveaboards who was
always around. A beer in one hand and a Marlboro in the
other,,,,always. Anyway most of the sailors knew it for what it was.
I met the guy, turned out to be a super friendly, down to earth guy
not the arrogant asshole that the toad said he was. People judge for
themselves. Of course the power boat crowd believed him but they don't
matter. I don't talk to the powerboat crowd anyway.

Roger Long wrote:

I like to stop three inches off and ...
RODLOL - Rolling on Dock Laughing out LOUD

personally I like to stop 2 and 9/16ths off...any more and I'm afraid I'll look like a putz in front
of the cognoscenti...and as Fernando said "It's much better to look good than to feel good".