BoatBanter.com - When would you board someone else's boat??

In article , Dave Hall
wrote:

So you take picture of the dog crapping in your yard and show it to him.

"I really can't tell if that's my dog..."

Now he's pushing it..

Well, sadly, there are even people who will commit an act in front you and
while denying it to your face.

I think we call them politicians :^)

Please believe me, I'm not abdicating ANY course of action. I merely wish
to state that Doug is right in the sense that there are inconsiderate
people who can't be reasoned with, and often if it not a criminal offense
the police (especially in larger cities) will not respond in a timely
manner.

While I agree that there are idiots in the world, the fact that the
police may find these little domestic squabbles to be beneath them,
does not justify someone taking the law into their own hands, and then
having the unmitigated gall to act surprised when that neighbor
retaliates.

When they do the inconsiderate SOB merely denies their fault.

Wouldn't you? It's human nature to become defensive when accused of
something. Provide me with proof that I did something, and I'll deal
with it. Otherwise, leave me alone.

In the case were discussing the incoderate neighbor was given proof, and
was most likely fully aware their dog was crapping in their neighbors yard
before that time. In this specific case, I honestly can't say what I
would tell the cops, becuase it is unlikely they would be at my door for
this matter.

If I personally wasn't keeping a watchful eye EVERY time my dog was let
out, and my neighbor complained, I would take them at their word,
apologize, and clean up the mess no questions asked. On the days I
exercise "poop patrol" I would most likely make a habit of scouring my
neighers area as well. While this has not happened at my house, it
happens at a marina where I visit where the manager like the dog and
permits her to run free. If I turn my back and Grete poops, and someone
call it to my attention, I clean it up ASAP. In addition, I tend to
take a few extra minutes clean up the entire picnic area for turds, not
just where i saw my dog go.

This ofen leads to finding a way to tolerate it or finding a way to make
them stop.

I know I'm being picky (unfortunately that's who I am), but to me it's not
always the action that I find offensive. Often it's the fact that someone
who doesn't really know me is making an assumption that I should deal with
a mess that they've chosen not to. Without getting into semantics like
physical ability or age, an owner allowing their dog crap in my yard
without cleaning it up, indicates that the owners time is "too important"
to tend to his responsibility.

Lifestyles being what they are, this is often true. All people
prioritize their actions. When we judge other people, we are doing
nothing more than gauging their choices against our own subjectivity.
Who gives any one of us the right to make these value judgements
against other people?

You have a very valid point, and I completely respect the way you worded
it: "Who gives any one of us the right" instead of "what gives you the
right". While it's human nature for us to do so, I don't think we have
the right judge the life of a person from a few inconsiderate actions. In
fact, it it the very reason why I'll try to reason with someone who is
doing something I take issue with.

While by no means absolute, I feel what gives everyone the right to judge
an act as inconsiderate is quite simple: If the act reduces the work for
the responsible individual at the expense of creating additional work for
someone else it is IMHO inconsiderate. If an act enhances the dimishes
another persons level of comfort, it MAY be deemed inconsiderate.

Once again this is by no means absolute for everything. I understand the
case of disturbance is VERY subjective as there are those who will
complain a stereo is blaring if they can turn off everthing in the house
and hear it with their windows open. Even in cases were there is little
ambiguity, such as not cleaning up after your pet, this rule of thumb I
suggest is not etched in stone to me. For example, I am far less likely
deem the old man who walks his dog with a cane to be inconsiderate when he
doesn't clean up after the mess. I am less likely to think of the car
owner as inconsiderate when he take two spaces at the far end of the
parking lot to avoid dinging his car.

As for the person throwing refuge ou the window, I can find no acceptable
excuse. You are welcome to debate this point though.

It say that even on my property, their
needs come first. When I see someone flick ashes out of the window of
their new car, then throws the butt out it screams: "I find a messy car
offensive, here you deal with it okay?"

How are you dealing with it? Ashes and butts are biodegradable.

Well I guess I'm of the opinion of if its "no big deal", then let the one
who smokes the cigarette deal with it. What is unreasonable about that?
Also, while I'm not sure, I think cigarette filters have fiberglass in
them. How biodegradable is that?

When someone parks their new car
in a crowded lot two spaces is says: "My car is too important to get
scratched so one other person will get to walk two blocks in the rain to
go shopping".

No, what it says is that the car owner invested a considerable amount
of money and time to get the car that he likes, and wants to take care
of it.. Since there are way too many people in the world who have no
consideration for other's property, and think nothing of "door
dinging" other people's cars, this owner has taken additional steps to
minimize this from occurring. The fact that some other people see this
action and incorrectly interpret it as a pompous, inconsiderate act
and then get an urge to "screw" with his car "just because",
underscores the antisocial nature of these same people.

Well, I too spent a considerable amount of money for my "good" car. I go
through considerable lengths to keep my vehicle looking and operating
"new". My car is white and shows dirt easily, so I'll drive around a
puddles instead of through them, or drive through a puddle slowly, if
can't drive around them. I am a fanatic about my car, and yet, my
actions to keep my car at its best stop the moment they impact someone
else. If someone's in the oncoming lane, I don't drive around the
puddle. If someone behind me I do the speed limit through the puddle.
Even in an empty lot, I won't take up two spaces.

Taking your viewpoint of they took two spaces "it's no big deal" to a
logical conclusion. What if every driver disregards the social norm and
takes up two spaces, could you say you would not be impacted if every
place you parked suddenly had only half the available parking spaces?
This is perfect case where a "slightly unacceptable" behavior could add up
to a major problem. Keep in mind Dave that keeping daily driver from
getting scratched is a complete fallacy as cars get scratched from
driving. If the car is not a daily driver, then the owner could have
elected to take their beater car to public places. Either way, it
ultimately comes down to other people being impactive negatively (no
matter how small) by selfish people's actions for absolutely no reason at
all.

Since protecting ones car is acceptable, regardless of who it puts out, I
guess we need to not be bothered by people who turn their car alarms up to
the maximum sensitivity level then are always absent to answer the alarm,
or disable it during thunderstorms, that not being inconsiderate as well.

If your neighbor blast their stereo at 3am they're
saying: "I don't care about your comfort:

Yes it does, and that's why we have noise ordinances.

Absolutely right, Dave. But the addage "where are the cops when you need
'em" often applies.

As it has been pointed out there are often cases, (e.g. unmuffled cars
idling at 3am, dog poop in the yard, a late night argument) where the
infraction is not actively seen by the police. With regards to noise, in
the area I live in, the police will often come out multiple times before a
citation is issued to the offending party. Meanwhile I'll be lucky if I
get a good nights sleep for one disturbance.

In the case of an argument that happens once in a blue moon, okay, I'd let
it slide. But is its a repeating offense? Your argument of "that's why
we have noise ordinances" is based upon people working within the
framework of the law, and the law handling the problem in a timely manner
for those who don't. In my community it's not a far reach to speculate
the law can't, or won't handle it in this manner. How many sleepless
nights is acceptable?

Obviously this is by no means carte blanche to take matters into your own
hands however you see fit, but keep in mind taking matters DOES NOT
necessarily equate to revenge. And I will concede, if Dougs hypothetical
muffler situation arose and I could not resolve the situation peacefully,
and made good on the my comment, then I too am guilty, and I too open
myself up to retaliation. It is the reason that if I elect to get nasty
at all, it is a last resort.

Inconsiderate behavior in general screams a chorus of: "ME! ME! ME!
**** YOU!"

Yes. But which behaviors are considered "inconsiderate" are often a
matter of opinion. Some things are blatant and fairly cut and dry. But
is the guy who takes up two spaces to protect his shiny new car any
more inconsiderate than the actions of those who would carelessly
scratch it?

In my opinion? Absolutely! The car owner taking two spaces engaged in a
deliberate action to take two spaces when there is a well established
norm for society of "one car, one space". They've elected to disregard
the norm and that directly results in extra effort needing to be expended
by others. In this case, one or more other person(s) may have to walk
farther, perhaps in inclement weater. While you can argue it's "no big
deal", it might be to the person(s) being put out from the selfish
person's actions. And if the extra effort is truly "no big deal" why
doesn't the person who elects to use up more spaces voluntarily park
further away where there is less contention for space?

In my opinion, it is a safe bet the person who parks next to you and dings
your car did not planto ding your car, as there is nothing for them to
gain by doing so. Careless? Perhaps. Inconsiderate? maybe not if they
didn't realize it. Not at all if they left a note (unlikely though).

Much of what you would consider "inconsiderate behavior" is borne from
a defensive posture. Many of us become "inconsiderate" to protect
ourselves from the "inconsiderate" actions of others.

And your right, Charlie, I won't waste my time hoping for something "bad"
to happen to these people, but I can't profess to being above smiling at
irony or in worse cases having a lack of compassion when the irony is
cruel.

I would call it God's revenge, but guys like Doug would cringe at
that.

In the case of people inconsiderate with their car, sadly, it
would make me chuckle if someone accidently bumped their car at the light,
scratching their bumper causing them to spill their beverage over their
new interior of the car that they burdened others with to keep pristine.

I have a problem with this. Why would you enjoy seeing someone's pride
and joy ruined? And why has his efforts to keep his car clean become a
burden to others?

I'm sorry if you have a "problem" with this, but that won't change
anything. Whether a character flaw, or perhaps human nature (I'll leave
it up to each of us to decide) to see selfish people get a taste of their
behavior through irony. From my personal perspective I also hope is
serves as a reminder that things change, we can't keep everthing perfect,
and that people should not take a back seat to the thing in your life.
Perhaps they'll even realize the irony, and say "I've been pretty selfish
in my actions regarding this car, and look what it got me...". At the
very least, if the interior is stained and the car is dented, there's a
greater change they won't feel their selfish behavior is necessary.

If you want it chalk up my view of inconsiderate irony as a character
flaw, fine. You seem to be a resonable person, and on principle I'll have
to take that view into consideration when assessing my actions. I still
content this flaw is no worse than inconsiderate behavior. In fact, I'd
rather have a world that was a little more critical of consideration,
balanced by reason, than a world of better natured but self centered
individuals who take additional liberties at the expense of their
neighbors whenever they see fit to do so.

The best neighbors are the ones who do not complain. Human nature
being what it is, means that in the normal course of time, that people
in close proximity will ultimately encounter some sort of activity
which "bothers" them. As long as they are not being grossly negligent,
then try to understand that people have the right to engage in certain
activities. Should the guy who works second shift have a right to
complain when his neighbor mows the lawn at 10:00 AM? When you put
yourself in this situation, you have to weigh the consequences of your
actions, and not expect the rest of the world to make adjustments for
your unusual lifestyle.

Great point, Dave!

This is the basis of "majority rule". The majority of people live
within a certain range of activities. Those are given priority in
consideration over those who "march to a different (and sometimes
incompatible) drum".

Dave

Good points Dave! Even if I don't agree with you, it was a good exchange
of ideas!

Take Care!