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in article , BCITORGB
at wrote on 4/6/05 7:10 PM:

Scott thinks:
=============
teaching a child that authority has teeth, and that defiance
may have painful consequences is absolutely necessary if the child is
to grow up into a responsible adult.
================

Why am I thinking of Stanley Milgram right now?

Could it be.... teaching people the importance of obeying authority....
naaahhh!

Funny thing is, my children are very well-mannered and well-behaved
(almost to a fault) but I've always asked them to question authority
(not necessarily verbally, but at least intellectually). In fact, I
*never* want them to "accept" authority without question!

frtzw906

The real danger is in teaching compliance rather than respect.

"I sit quietly so you won't hit me" is not respect. That is fear, resulting
in compliance. There is no internal motivation to change the behaviour, it
is through external threat only that the change is achieved.

This type of behavioural management teaches people to be victims and
victimizers.

Someone who is having trouble focusing in class who gets a smash on the back
of the hand is being forced to comply. There is no learning or respect or
understanding. Just compliance. And that is what that child is learning -
comply, or else. And this is training for being a victim. The next person of
authority who seeks their compliance may have the intention to sexually
assault them. And the child has been taught that refusal to comply results
in a beating, and that they are powerless. So the comply.

They also learn to seek compliance from others, using the same technique as
the authority figure that taught them how to do it. It could be younger kids
in the schoolyard or siblings at home. And eventually a wife and kids.

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