On Sun, 18 Nov 2007 13:33:35 -0800 (PST), Skip Gundlach
wrote:

Thanks, you all, for your public and private concerns. As always,
stay tuned...

Skip, two observations:

- It's always coldest just before the dawn.

- Head south young man, head south. The tropics await you. :-)

Skip,
I write this in all seriousness. You readily admit to your shortcomings as
a sailor, and truthfully, I will not dispute you on that point. You are not
the first to be long on dreams yet come up short on experience. What is
equally apparent is your talent as a writer. Your tale has enchanted and
infuriated myself along with a good portion of this newsgroup. Perhaps you
have hitched your dreams to the wrong horse. The bookshelves are laden with
identical tales of sun filled circumnavigations. Your tale speaks to all
who struggle and in the struggle rather than the success must find their
victory.

Stop giving it away. You have a book in you and that is more than any fool
on this newsgroup can say. Tie up somewhere, plug into the shore current
and finish your voyage.

Regards from one who has successfully failed his way into an pretty good
life,

Dennis
S/V Dark Lady
CN35-207
"Skip Gundlach" wrote in message
...
Skip's angst...

TMI warning:

This is long and personal, so if you're not one of the interested
parties relating to my post about being becalmed, bothered and
bewildered, you can skip this without missing anything.

A side note, I LOLd at 12* BTDC. Thank you for bringing a smile to my
face...

Thank you all for being concerned about me (and by implication,
Lydia). I really have nobody to talk to about this, and - of course,
having been taken to task by legions here for my candor (Lydia would
call it lack of boundaries, being entirely too open and accepting -
and non-judgmental - which has a huge component in how I got to where
I am right this minute), I have some reservations about "sharing" in
the AA or "dot A" (any other flavor of the same self-help groups)
sense. None the less, my shortcomings as a sailor, cruiser, and any
other you may care to identify have not ever been something I'm shy
about admitting, in the hopes that I might learn from others smarter
than I.

So, let's start with what it isn't. It isn't that I think I (or we)
made the wrong decision. I've never looked back, and was very
actively looking forward to our life aboard. There have been many
moments in the last two weeks where that has faltered, on which more
below - but it had nothing to do with the decision to go forward.

I'm also not (at least at this time) directly thinking about having
blown it and giving up the boat - nor giving up Lydia. Nor is Lydia
thinking her equivalents.

It isn't health in the sense that many of you speculate, but it is
definitely health related. Neither of us has little microbes, clots
or other impedimenta, though there is definitely fertile ground for
cells gone wild. The entire details of that won't be disclosed for
some time, when the others are ready for it to come out. It has a
great deal of my attention at the moment, however.

This isn't the only place where that post appeared; I put it on
several forums as well as my log list (the people who've asked for me
to mail my postings, which gets the postings you see with date titles)
and a couple of cruising related mail lists. Some have observed that
I seemed like I was down; one said I sounded depressed.

I am indeed depressed. TMI warning: I have chronic major depression,
which I've managed for many years, but at one time was 2x weekly
therapied, daily medicated and managed not to kill myself over my
perceived shortcomings. Due to current circumstance, I'm currently in
a failed remission, for lack of a better phrase, and it colors my
thinking and writing and, indeed, my life. That it's strictly
situational has prevented me from taking medical or other measures
beyond my own coping skills (I went to grad school on that one, so to
speak, and am reasonably good at it). One of the symptoms of
depression is the lack of interest in anything which used to be
pleasurable.

That's happening. I vacillate between turning into a hermit (can I
live on the pittance I have coming in if I have to get a land side
place, however simple and remote?) (because I have no more interest in
the boat, among other things which used to give me pleasure), stepping
off the transom one night under way (no, I won't - I'm not that
strong) to kill the pain, not having any enthusiasm for the new sails
which are on the way nor any of the myriad of little chores which
always accumulate on the boat (but going through the motions, anyway,
because I know I'll feel differently at some point and would regret
not doing it in retrospect), and all the other things that depression
engenders/spawns.

And, I also know that what's going on isn't the end of the world.
It's just that it's - irrevocably - changed it. From someone who's
lived through something else of perhaps more significance, as one of
my off-list correspondents pointed out, what I'm going through right
now is chump change emotionally. It's just that I was totally
blindsided, and the realities just keep getting worse, and I've not
yet worked out my coping mechanisms. I'm very good at blaming myself
for allowing it to happen, too, so "Angry Bob" (the cartoon literature
character by Rat in Pearls Before Swine) has nothing on me at the
moment.

And, since it involves others, until there is permission to discuss
it, I'll not directly say what dragon it is I'm fighting. The dragon
may well win and have the kingdom. Or, I may succeed in stuffing the
dragon in the far pasture where I don't have to see it, and can only
smell it and see its effect on my subjects (metaphorically speaking,
of course), but turn a blind eye. Or, the dragon may eventually die a
peaceful death, and I can get on with "only" having to deal with the
destruction wrought while it was here...

I know that's not a very satisfactory answer to the questions on your
minds. It's the best I can do right now. But we have no doubts about
our chosen course, and wouldn't go back to our old lives on a bet.

And finally, just in case you all didn't know, I love the community
here, even the flamers and shovers, for I recognize them for what they
are. I long ago got a crispy crust fighting other dragons, and am not
injured. Sometimes it's even fun to joust, but mostly I just enjoy
the heat :{))

Thanks, you all, for your public and private concerns. As always,
stay tuned...

L8R

Skip

Morgan 461 #2
SV Flying Pig KI4MPC
See our galleries at www.justpickone.org/skip/gallery !
Follow us at http://groups.google.com/group/flyingpiglog and/or
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/TheFlyingPigLog

"You are never given a wish without also being given the power to
make it come true. You may have to work for it however."
(and)
"There is no such thing as a problem without a gift for you in its
hands. You seek problems because you need their gifts."
(Richard Bach, in The Reluctant Messiah)

Thanks to all to whom the thanks would be obviously directed. The rest
of you can go **** yourselves (Bob, you're not among them, but now you
know what it takes to get me to say that).

For any of those who may actually have an interest in what's
happening rather than just wasting bandwidth on the local ****wit's
issues, Lydia has given me direction (much more than permission) to
talk about it. I'll do so - if I think there's any sincerity (my
apologies to those who I already know are, indeed) in the
communication - to all who care to correspond with me offlist. And,
as I'm not really given to melodrama, it will take me a little while
to compose my thoughts so they don't take orders of magnitude more
space than my usual postings here, so please forgive me if you've
already made this contact and I've not yet come back to you.

I don't think my information is hidden, as I've gotten some private
mail on the subject, but in case there's any doubt, you can find me at
skipgundlach at gmail.com.

We now return you to your regular programming.

L8R

Skip

Morgan 461 #2
SV Flying Pig KI4MPC
See our galleries at www.justpickone.org/skip/gallery !
Follow us at http://groups.google.com/group/flyingpiglog and/or
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/TheFlyingPigLog

"You are never given a wish without also being given the power to
make it come true. You may have to work for it however."
(and)
"There is no such thing as a problem without a gift for you in its
hands. You seek problems because you need their gifts."
(Richard Bach, in The Reluctant Messiah)

On Mon, 19 Nov 2007 05:59:39 -0800 (PST), Skip Gundlach
wrote:

Thanks to all to whom the thanks would be obviously directed. The rest
of you can go **** yourselves (Bob, you're not among them, but now you
know what it takes to get me to say that).

For any of those who may actually have an interest in what's
happening rather than just wasting bandwidth on the local ****wit's
issues, Lydia has given me direction (much more than permission) to
talk about it. I'll do so - if I think there's any sincerity (my
apologies to those who I already know are, indeed) in the
communication - to all who care to correspond with me offlist. And,
as I'm not really given to melodrama, it will take me a little while
to compose my thoughts so they don't take orders of magnitude more
space than my usual postings here, so please forgive me if you've
already made this contact and I've not yet come back to you.

I don't think my information is hidden, as I've gotten some private
mail on the subject, but in case there's any doubt, you can find me at
skipgundlach at gmail.com.

We now return you to your regular programming.

L8R

Skip

Morgan 461 #2
SV Flying Pig KI4MPC
See our galleries at www.justpickone.org/skip/gallery !
Follow us at http://groups.google.com/group/flyingpiglog and/or
http://groups.yahoo.com/group/TheFlyingPigLog

"You are never given a wish without also being given the power to
make it come true. You may have to work for it however."
(and)
"There is no such thing as a problem without a gift for you in its
hands. You seek problems because you need their gifts."
(Richard Bach, in The Reluctant Messiah)


You know, we all get a bit down in the mouth at times with the whole
world crushing us. Right now, I'm trying to get a power boat fixed
enough to move on to and a sail boat fixed enough to move off of and
sell. It seems as though the work is never going to end - I was a fool
to take this on - Lord, am I tired of boats!

But, I've found that if you just take things one day at a time and do
what you can each day somehow, all at once, you find that you have,
somehow, worked your way out of the mess and are back afloat.

I'm not much of a drinker but I do believe that the AA guys have
something with their one day at a time thing.


Bruce-in-Bangkok
(Note:remove underscores
from address for reply)

On Nov 19, 5:57 pm, Bruce in Bangkok wrote:


You know, we all get a bit down in the mouth at times with the whole
world crushing us. Right now, I'm trying to get a power boat fixed
enough to move on to and a sail boat fixed enough to move off of and
sell. It seems as though the work is never going to end

You tell it brother..Amen!


- I was a fool
to take this on - Lord, am I tired of boats!

Try getting a house uilt in 1905 ready to sell.
total electical
total plumbing
total land scape
total drainage
total paint..... interior.....interior

Ugggggg!

But, I've found that if you just take things one day at a time and do
what you can each day somehow, all at once, you find that you have,
somehow, worked your way out of the mess and are back afloat.


Right on bro.......almost ready for the For Sail sign!

I'm not much of a drinker but I do believe that the AA guys have
something with their one day at a time thing.

Ya, I wish i could hang wit dat crew but booze is a cheep and
availible drug. Ask me why it took 11 years to get a BS.and it wasnt
ETOH.

hey Bruce.........
good on 4 ur post
havnt been in ur parts 4 a while......... since 70.......
have the bars changed? Cheep huch and mama son for 100 MPC?

Bob

On Mon, 19 Nov 2007 18:08:59 -0800 (PST), Bob
wrote:

On Nov 19, 5:57 pm, Bruce in Bangkok wrote:


You know, we all get a bit down in the mouth at times with the whole
world crushing us. Right now, I'm trying to get a power boat fixed
enough to move on to and a sail boat fixed enough to move off of and
sell. It seems as though the work is never going to end

You tell it brother..Amen!


- I was a fool
to take this on - Lord, am I tired of boats!

Try getting a house uilt in 1905 ready to sell.
total electical
total plumbing
total land scape
total drainage
total paint..... interior.....interior

Ugggggg!

But, I've found that if you just take things one day at a time and do
what you can each day somehow, all at once, you find that you have,
somehow, worked your way out of the mess and are back afloat.


Right on bro.......almost ready for the For Sail sign!

I'm not much of a drinker but I do believe that the AA guys have
something with their one day at a time thing.

Ya, I wish i could hang wit dat crew but booze is a cheep and
availible drug. Ask me why it took 11 years to get a BS.and it wasnt
ETOH.

hey Bruce.........
good on 4 ur post
havnt been in ur parts 4 a while......... since 70.......
have the bars changed? Cheep huch and mama son for 100 MPC?

Bob


Yes, well... Prices have gone up some from what you saw back in the
70's. But you are talking MPC? No MPC in Thailand. If you are talking
about Viet Nam I rotated stateside in 1967 and went back once in about
1972, or there about, to look at a job and I thought that the prices
had gone up some then so imagine that they are sky high now.

Prices in Thailand, since 1970, has gone up quite a lot. It is hard to
talk prices as bars range from bamboo hootch to posh establishments
but as a sort of average I'd say that a bottle of beer would run
between 50 - 100 baht a bottle and a "lady" about 1,000 baht a night.
The exchange rate is *about* 33 baht to the US$.


Bruce-in-Bangkok
(Note:remove underscores
from address for reply)

Prices in Thailand, since 1970, has gone up quite a lot. It is hard to
talk prices as bars range from bamboo hootch to posh establishments
but as a sort of average I'd say that a bottle of beer would run
between 50 - 100 baht a bottle and a "lady" about 1,000 baht a night.
The exchange rate is *about* 33 baht to the US$.


Bruce-in-Bangkok

That's 17-quid a night, compared to £500. I knew the UK was a rip-off, but
perhaps the quality of the merchandise here is more reliable?

DP

"Bruce in Bangkok" wrote in message
...
You know, we all get a bit down in the mouth at times with the whole
world crushing us. Right now, I'm trying to get a power boat fixed
enough to move on to and a sail boat fixed enough to move off of and
sell. It seems as though the work is never going to end - I was a fool
to take this on - Lord, am I tired of boats!

I think if I were a tired old man who attempted things greater than his
paltry ability to succeed, I would be down in the mouth, too. It would grate
on me knowing I had attempted a circumnavigation but only had enough of the
"right stuff" to get less than half the way 'round. I had bit off more than
I could chew. Boat was too big and complicated. I couldn't keep up with the
maintenance. Expenses got out of hand. Even worse is being stuck in some
backwater with no future while the trip grinds to a halt and contemplating
dying of old age among the heathens there while slumming it aboard some
decrepit old motorboat tied to a dock within sight of the sailboat in which
I failed to realize my dreams. A third world boat person. Look over there at
your erstwhile vessel and what do you see? Failure and shame, dreams not
realized. inability to finish what you started, defeat, the end of the road.

But, I've found that if you just take things one day at a time and do
what you can each day somehow, all at once, you find that you have,
somehow, worked your way out of the mess and are back afloat.

If you call some tired old motorboat "back afloat?" But I guess it suits
you. Tired old defeated boat for a tired, defeated old geezer and his crone
wife.

I'm not much of a drinker but I do believe that the AA guys have
something with their one day at a time thing.

If I were you I would commence drinking at once. Drown your sorrows. Get
drunk and feel good about "the good old days" when you still had what it
takes. Reflect upon those of us who still do have what it takes and still do
circumnavigations and still are able to do circumnavigations and still enjoy
the hell out of them. If you think about it, memories are about all that is
left to you, Pops. Try rum. I've noticed it allows you to recall mostly the
positive memories. (There's a slim chance you might have a few of that type.
You can't always have been a failure.)


Wilbur Hubbard

On Tue, 20 Nov 2007 09:08:41 -0500, "Wilbur Hubbard"
wrote:


"Bruce in Bangkok" wrote in message
.. .
You know, we all get a bit down in the mouth at times with the whole
world crushing us. Right now, I'm trying to get a power boat fixed
enough to move on to and a sail boat fixed enough to move off of and
sell. It seems as though the work is never going to end - I was a fool
to take this on - Lord, am I tired of boats!

I think if I were a tired old man who attempted things greater than his
paltry ability to succeed, I would be down in the mouth, too. It would grate
on me knowing I had attempted a circumnavigation but only had enough of the
"right stuff" to get less than half the way 'round. I had bit off more than
I could chew. Boat was too big and complicated. I couldn't keep up with the
maintenance. Expenses got out of hand. Even worse is being stuck in some
backwater with no future while the trip grinds to a halt and contemplating
dying of old age among the heathens there while slumming it aboard some
decrepit old motorboat tied to a dock within sight of the sailboat in which
I failed to realize my dreams. A third world boat person. Look over there at
your erstwhile vessel and what do you see? Failure and shame, dreams not
realized. inability to finish what you started, defeat, the end of the road.

But, I've found that if you just take things one day at a time and do
what you can each day somehow, all at once, you find that you have,
somehow, worked your way out of the mess and are back afloat.

If you call some tired old motorboat "back afloat?" But I guess it suits
you. Tired old defeated boat for a tired, defeated old geezer and his crone
wife.

I'm not much of a drinker but I do believe that the AA guys have
something with their one day at a time thing.

If I were you I would commence drinking at once. Drown your sorrows. Get
drunk and feel good about "the good old days" when you still had what it
takes. Reflect upon those of us who still do have what it takes and still do
circumnavigations and still are able to do circumnavigations and still enjoy
the hell out of them. If you think about it, memories are about all that is
left to you, Pops. Try rum. I've noticed it allows you to recall mostly the
positive memories. (There's a slim chance you might have a few of that type.
You can't always have been a failure.)


Wilbur Hubbard


Hot Damn! Here is old Willie-boy. Dumfounded by life as usual and
mumbling to himself -- Willie, you really ought to stuff a sock in it
as one of these days the guys with the white coats and the wrap around
waistcoat are going to drop by your place and away you'll go to the
big house with the padded walls.

Regarding my "paltry ability to succeed" I might comment that I have
two boats, one house, two autos, a wife, children and grand children,
no debts and a comfortable retirement. What do you have? A bicycle, a
house trailer and a yellow boat. I've sailed half way round the world
and you've sailed..... well you don't admit to having sailed anywhere.

So what are you rabbeting on about? I've got it better then you have
and you are jealous?

Good Lord Willie, all you got to do is get a job and start to work and
you too can have the easy life style. You don't have to be a bum!

My God, if you'd just learn to speak Spanish you could get a position
in Mcdonalds that would certainly pay more then the unemployment. You
might even be able to go sailing during your annual vacation.

All it takes is a little gumption (to use my grand dad's words).

Bruce-in-Bangkok
(Note:remove underscores
from address for reply)

Bruce... One wife? And you live in Bangkok?

I'd have at least ten wives. In my humble horny opinion, Thi women are the
most beautiful on earth.

===
"Bruce in Bangkok" wrote in message
...
On Tue, 20 Nov 2007 09:08:41 -0500, "Wilbur Hubbard"
wrote:


"Bruce in Bangkok" wrote in message
. ..
You know, we all get a bit down in the mouth at times with the whole
world crushing us. Right now, I'm trying to get a power boat fixed
enough to move on to and a sail boat fixed enough to move off of and
sell. It seems as though the work is never going to end - I was a fool
to take this on - Lord, am I tired of boats!

I think if I were a tired old man who attempted things greater than his
paltry ability to succeed, I would be down in the mouth, too. It would
grate
on me knowing I had attempted a circumnavigation but only had enough of
the
"right stuff" to get less than half the way 'round. I had bit off more
than
I could chew. Boat was too big and complicated. I couldn't keep up with
the
maintenance. Expenses got out of hand. Even worse is being stuck in some
backwater with no future while the trip grinds to a halt and contemplating
dying of old age among the heathens there while slumming it aboard some
decrepit old motorboat tied to a dock within sight of the sailboat in
which
I failed to realize my dreams. A third world boat person. Look over there
at
your erstwhile vessel and what do you see? Failure and shame, dreams not
realized. inability to finish what you started, defeat, the end of the
road.

But, I've found that if you just take things one day at a time and do
what you can each day somehow, all at once, you find that you have,
somehow, worked your way out of the mess and are back afloat.

If you call some tired old motorboat "back afloat?" But I guess it suits
you. Tired old defeated boat for a tired, defeated old geezer and his
crone
wife.

I'm not much of a drinker but I do believe that the AA guys have
something with their one day at a time thing.

If I were you I would commence drinking at once. Drown your sorrows. Get
drunk and feel good about "the good old days" when you still had what it
takes. Reflect upon those of us who still do have what it takes and still
do
circumnavigations and still are able to do circumnavigations and still
enjoy
the hell out of them. If you think about it, memories are about all that
is
left to you, Pops. Try rum. I've noticed it allows you to recall mostly
the
positive memories. (There's a slim chance you might have a few of that
type.
You can't always have been a failure.)


Wilbur Hubbard


Hot Damn! Here is old Willie-boy. Dumfounded by life as usual and
mumbling to himself -- Willie, you really ought to stuff a sock in it
as one of these days the guys with the white coats and the wrap around
waistcoat are going to drop by your place and away you'll go to the
big house with the padded walls.

Regarding my "paltry ability to succeed" I might comment that I have
two boats, one house, two autos, a wife, children and grand children,
no debts and a comfortable retirement. What do you have? A bicycle, a
house trailer and a yellow boat. I've sailed half way round the world
and you've sailed..... well you don't admit to having sailed anywhere.

So what are you rabbeting on about? I've got it better then you have
and you are jealous?

Good Lord Willie, all you got to do is get a job and start to work and
you too can have the easy life style. You don't have to be a bum!

My God, if you'd just learn to speak Spanish you could get a position
in Mcdonalds that would certainly pay more then the unemployment. You
might even be able to go sailing during your annual vacation.

All it takes is a little gumption (to use my grand dad's words).

Bruce-in-Bangkok
(Note:remove underscores
from address for reply)