In the berth next to mine resides the ultimate boat snob. His view is that
99% of all boats are unfit for him and marketed to idiots. He looks down his
nose at everyone elses choice of boat and believes his opinions are the only
ones that are correct. He is irritating to be around, he always has some
snide comment about the way someone does something. I really, really want to
get him a fitting Christmas gift, one that tells him what I and everyone
else think of him. I need some suggestions, so please have at it. The gift
should cost $300 or less and have real impact. Thanks, I know you guys will
come up with something good!

Tom S.

"Thomas Sawyer" wrote in message
...
In the berth next to mine resides the ultimate boat snob. His view is that
99% of all boats are unfit for him and marketed to idiots. He looks down
his nose at everyone elses choice of boat and believes his opinions are
the only ones that are correct. He is irritating to be around, he always
has some snide comment about the way someone does something. I really,
really want to get him a fitting Christmas gift, one that tells him what I
and everyone else think of him. I need some suggestions, so please have at
it. The gift should cost $300 or less and have real impact. Thanks, I know
you guys will come up with something good!

Tom S.


He sounds like he has his head screwed on straight to me except for one area
which will be addressed below. He's probably 100% correct in his assessments
of his neighbors. I discovered a very long time ago that NO boat at a marina
had an owner who was anything but a moron. The fact that the boat was kept
at a marina is indesputable proof of that.

This makes for a dilemma. If he is so knowledgeable and superior then what
the hell is he doing still hanging out at the marina with the low-life he
despises? Buy him one of those big white mooring balls with the blue
horizontal stripe with a suitable length of chain and a large mushroom
anchor.

Wilbur Hubbard

"Thomas Sawyer" wrote in message
...
In the berth next to mine resides the ultimate boat snob. His view is that
99% of all boats are unfit for him and marketed to idiots. He looks down
his nose at everyone elses choice of boat and believes his opinions are
the only ones that are correct. He is irritating to be around, he always
has some snide comment about the way someone does something. I really,
really want to get him a fitting Christmas gift, one that tells him what I
and everyone else think of him. I need some suggestions, so please have at
it. The gift should cost $300 or less and have real impact. Thanks, I know
you guys will come up with something good!

Tom S.



Consider giving him a very nice xmas card, telling him what a nice boat he
has and how much you and the other neighbors value his opinion. There's no
need to spend money on a jerk, and it will do nothing to change his mind. On
the other hand, there might come a time when there's a fire and he's the
only one with the hose.

--
"j" ganz @@
www.sailnow.com

Thomas Sawyer wrote:
In the berth next to mine resides the ultimate boat snob. His view is that
99% of all boats are unfit for him and marketed to idiots. He looks down his
nose at everyone elses choice of boat and believes his opinions are the only
ones that are correct. He is irritating to be around, he always has some
snide comment about the way someone does something. I really, really want to
get him a fitting Christmas gift, one that tells him what I and everyone
else think of him. I need some suggestions, so please have at it. The gift
should cost $300 or less and have real impact. Thanks, I know you guys will
come up with something good!

Tom S.



Go down to your local flea marker or thrift shop,, for a couple of bucks
you should be able to find one of those trophies that consists of the
rear end of a horse mounted on a pedestal, another couple of bucks and
you can get a nice little brass plaque engraved to glue on the base: You
choose a suitable inscription...\
\


Cheers

Martin













tle

"Thomas Sawyer" wrote in
:

In the berth next to mine resides the ultimate boat snob. His view is
that 99% of all boats are unfit for him and marketed to idiots. He
looks down his nose at everyone elses choice of boat and believes his
opinions are the only ones that are correct. He is irritating to be
around, he always has some snide comment about the way someone does
something. I really, really want to get him a fitting Christmas gift,
one that tells him what I and everyone else think of him. I need some
suggestions, so please have at it. The gift should cost $300 or less
and have real impact. Thanks, I know you guys will come up with
something good!

Tom S.




A WalMart Gift Card......the ultimate gift for the really snobbish.

"Say it with Walmart!"

$5 should be sufficient....(c;

Another wonderful gift, if he's a liveaboard, is a dozen dead black
roses, delivered by a florist. I know someone who got them from his ex-
wife after she lost in divorce court and HE won child support....(c;]

"Thomas Sawyer" wrote in
:

In the berth next to mine resides the ultimate boat snob. His view is
that 99% of all boats are unfit for him and marketed to idiots. He
looks down his nose at everyone elses choice of boat and believes his
opinions are the only ones that are correct. He is irritating to be
around, he always has some snide comment about the way someone does
something. I really, really want to get him a fitting Christmas gift,
one that tells him what I and everyone else think of him. I need some
suggestions, so please have at it. The gift should cost $300 or less
and have real impact. Thanks, I know you guys will come up with
something good!

Tom S.



Also there are several awards he might qualify for:

http://www.snidelyworld.com/Humor/Upgrade.htm

I'd say don't get him anything, but give everybody else some of this
for the appropriate occasion when he comes around:

http://www.jamminn.com/store/media/210007m.jpg

Tim wrote in news:d7c08fe1-d598-4990-be13-
:

http://www.jamminn.com/store/media/210007m.jpg

There's a can of that behind the bar at Charleston Yacht Club....(c;

"Thomas Sawyer" wrote in message
...
In the berth next to mine resides the ultimate boat snob. His view is that
99% of all boats are unfit for him and marketed to idiots. He looks down
his nose at everyone elses choice of boat and believes his opinions are
the only ones that are correct. He is irritating to be around, he always
has some snide comment about the way someone does something. I really,
really want to get him a fitting Christmas gift, one that tells him what I
and everyone else think of him. I need some suggestions, so please have at
it. The gift should cost $300 or less and have real impact. Thanks, I know
you guys will come up with something good!

Tom S.

A nice big jar of Figjam.

"Thomas Sawyer" wrote in message
...
In the berth next to mine resides the ultimate boat snob. His view is that
99% of all boats are unfit for him and marketed to idiots. He looks down
his nose at everyone elses choice of boat and believes his opinions are
the only ones that are correct. He is irritating to be around, he always
has some snide comment about the way someone does something. I really,
really want to get him a fitting Christmas gift, one that tells him what I
and everyone else think of him. I need some suggestions, so please have at
it. The gift should cost $300 or less and have real impact. Thanks, I know
you guys will come up with something good!

Tom S.

If I come see you and act like a total butthole will you buy me a present
too?