1) Capt. Rob is the group's kick boy
2) Capt. Rob never earned a dime in his life. Lacks the necessary skill
set to actually be paid.
3) Capt. Rob has been relegated to stay-at-home dad because a nurse can
earn twice or three times the paycheck.
4) Capt. Rob motors his wife's low-end production boat and runs aground
all the time. Bent his driveshaft recently on the same rocks he's run
into about a dozen times in the past year.
5) Capt. Rob can't read a compass so he leaves the cover on it.
6) Capt. Rob can't figure out how to trim main and jib so they work
together so he leaves the cover on the mainsail most of the time.
7) Capt. Rob's kid is overweight just like his dad.
8) Capt. Rob thinks 2600 square feet is a big house. (Most people's
garage is bigger than that.)
9) Capt. Rob is too uncoordinated to ever get a Class A CDL. Probably
can't pass a random drug test anyway.
10) Capt. Rob is butt ugly.
11) Capt. Rob has an all-girl crew because he likes associating with his
peers.
12) Capt. Rob drives cheap, highly-recalled automobiles.

Wilbur Hubbard