| Home |
| Search |
| Today's Posts |
|
|
|
#1
posted to alt.sailing.asa
|
|||
|
|||
Which is in your survival kit?
"katy" wrote | Yuh...you ever seen scrapple pans set out for ehad cheese? Is ehad cheese like Edam cheese? Cheers, Ellen |
|
#2
posted to alt.sailing.asa
|
|||
|
|||
|
Which is in your survival kit?
katysails wrote
| Yuh...you ever seen scrapple pans set out for ehad cheese? Ellen MacArthur wrote: Is ehad cheese like Edam cheese? No, Ehad cheese is more like Egad cheese, only more obscure & less old-fashioned. DSK |
|
#3
posted to alt.sailing.asa
|
|||
|
|||
|
Which is in your survival kit?
The Cheese Shop by Monty Python
(a customer walks in the door) Customer: Good Morning. Owner: Good morning, Sir. Welcome to the National Cheese Emporium! Customer: Ah, thank you, my good man. Owner: What can I do for you, Sir? Customer: Well, I was, uh, sitting in the public library on Thurmon Street just now, skimming through Rogue Herrys by Hugh Walpole, and I suddenly came over all peckish. Owner: Peckish, sir? Customer: Esuriant. Owner: Eh? Customer: 'Ee, ah wor 'ungry-loike! Owner: Ah, hungry! Customer: In a nutshell. And I thought to myself, "a little fermented curd will do the trick," so, I curtailed my Walpoling activites, sallied forth, and infiltrated your place of purveyance to negotiate the vending of some cheesy comestibles! Owner: Come again? Customer: I want to buy some cheese. Owner: Oh, I thought you were complaining about the bazouki player! Customer: Oh, heaven forbid: I am one who delights in all manifestations of the Terpsichorean muse! Owner: Sorry? Customer: 'Ooo, Ah lahk a nice tuune, 'yer forced too! Owner: So he can go on playing, can he? Customer: Most certainly! Now then, some cheese please, my good man. Owner: (lustily) Certainly, sir. What would you like? Customer: Well, eh, how about a little red Leicester. Owner: I'm, a-fraid we're fresh out of red Leicester, sir. Customer: Oh, never mind, how are you on Tilsit? Owner: I'm afraid we never have that at the end of the week, sir, we get it fresh on Monday. Customer: Tish tish. No matter. Well, stout yeoman, four ounces of Caerphilly, if you please. Owner: Ah! It's beeeen on order, sir, for two weeks. Was expecting it this morning. Customer: 'T's Not my lucky day, is it? Aah, Bel Paese? Owner: Sorry, sir. Customer: Red Windsor? Owner: Normally, sir, yes. Today the van broke down. Customer: Ah. Stilton? Owner: Sorry. Customer: Ementhal? Gruyere? Owner: No. Customer: Any Norweigan Jarlsburg, per chance. Owner: No. Customer: Lipta? Owner: No. Customer: Lancashire? Owner: No. Customer: White Stilton? Owner: No. Customer: Danish Brew? Owner: No. Customer: Double Goucester? Owner: (pause) No. Customer: Cheshire? Owner: No. Customer: Dorset Bluveny? Owner: No. Customer: Brie, Roquefort, Pol le Veq, Port Salut, Savoy Aire, Saint Paulin, Carrier de lest, Bres Bleu, Bruson? Owner: No. Customer: Camenbert, perhaps? Owner: Ah! We have Camenbert, yessir. Customer: (suprised) You do! Excellent. Owner: Yessir. It's..ah,.....it's a bit runny... Customer: Oh, I like it runny. Owner: Well,.. It's very runny, actually, sir. Customer: No matter. Fetch hither the fromage de la Belle France! Mmmwah! Owner: I...think it's a bit runnier than you'll like it, sir. Customer: I don't care how ****ing runny it is. Hand it over with all speed. Owner: Oooooooooohhh........! (pause) Customer: What now? Owner: The cat's eaten it. Customer: (pause) Has he. Owner: She, sir. Customer: (pause) Gouda? Owner: No. Customer: Edam? Owner: No. Customer: Case Ness? Owner: No. Customer: Smoked Austrian? Owner: No. Customer: Japanese Sage Darby? Owner: No, sir. Customer: You...do *have* some cheese, don't you? Owner: (brightly) Of course, sir. It's a cheese shop, sir. We've got-- Customer: No no... don't tell me. I'm keen to guess. Owner: Fair enough. Customer: Uuuuuh, Wensleydale. Owner: Yes? Customer: Ah, well, I'll have some of that! Owner: Oh! I thought you were talking to me, sir. Mister Wensleydale, that's my name. Customer: (pause) Greek Feta? Owner: Uh, not as such. Customer: Uuh, Gorgonzola? Owner: No. Customer: Parmesan, Owner: No. Customer: Mozarella, Owner: No. Customer: Paper Cramer, Owner: No. Customer: Danish Bimbo, Owner: No. Customer: Czech sheep's milk, Owner: No. Customer: Venezuelan Beaver Cheese? Owner: Not *today*, sir, no. Customer: (pause) Aah, how about Cheddar? Owner: Well, we don't get much call for it around here, sir. Customer: Not much ca-- it's the single most popular cheese in the world! Owner: Not 'round here, sir. Customer: (slight pause) and what IS the most popular cheese 'round hyah? Owner: 'Illchester, sir. Customer: IS it. Owner: Oh, yes, it's staggeringly popular in this manor, squire. Customer: Is it. Owner: It's our number one best seller, sir! Customer: I see. Uuh...'Illchester, eh? Owner: Right, sir. Customer: All right. Okay. 'Have you got any?' he asked, expecting the answer 'no'. Owner: I'll have a look, sir........nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnno. Customer: It's not much of a cheese shop, is it? Owner: Finest in the district! Customer: (annoyed) Explain the logic underlying that conclusion, please. Owner: Well, it's so clean, sir! Customer: It's certainly uncontaminated by cheese.... Owner: (brightly) You haven't asked me about Limburger, sir. Customer: Would it be worth it? Owner: Could be.... Customer: Have you --SHUT THAT BLOODY BAZOUKI OFF! Owner: Told you sir.... Customer: (slowly) Have you got any Limburger? Owner: No. Customer: Figures.Predictable, really I suppose. It was an act of purest optimism to have posed the question in the first place. Tell me: Owner: Yessir? Customer: (deliberately) Have you in fact got any cheese here at all. Owner: Yes, sir. Customer: Really? (pause) Owner: No. Not really, sir. Customer: You haven't. Owner: Nosir. Not a scrap. I was deliberately wasting your time, sir. Customer: Well I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to shoot you. Owner: Right-Oh, sir. (The customer takes out a gun and shoots the owner) Customer: What a *senseless* waste of human life. |
|
#4
posted to alt.sailing.asa
|
|||
|
|||
|
Which is in your survival kit?
Goodness. I wish you'd cut the cheese!
Cheers, Ellen "Gilligan" wrote The Cheese Shop by Monty Python (a customer walks in the door) Customer: Good Morning. Owner: Good morning, Sir. Welcome to the National Cheese Emporium! Customer: Ah, thank you, my good man. Owner: What can I do for you, Sir? Customer: Well, I was, uh, sitting in the public library on Thurmon Street just now, skimming through Rogue Herrys by Hugh Walpole, and I suddenly came over all peckish. Owner: Peckish, sir? Customer: Esuriant. Owner: Eh? Customer: 'Ee, ah wor 'ungry-loike! Owner: Ah, hungry! Customer: In a nutshell. And I thought to myself, "a little fermented curd will do the trick," so, I curtailed my Walpoling activites, sallied forth, and infiltrated your place of purveyance to negotiate the vending of some cheesy comestibles! Owner: Come again? Customer: I want to buy some cheese. Owner: Oh, I thought you were complaining about the bazouki player! Customer: Oh, heaven forbid: I am one who delights in all manifestations of the Terpsichorean muse! Owner: Sorry? Customer: 'Ooo, Ah lahk a nice tuune, 'yer forced too! Owner: So he can go on playing, can he? Customer: Most certainly! Now then, some cheese please, my good man. Owner: (lustily) Certainly, sir. What would you like? Customer: Well, eh, how about a little red Leicester. Owner: I'm, a-fraid we're fresh out of red Leicester, sir. Customer: Oh, never mind, how are you on Tilsit? Owner: I'm afraid we never have that at the end of the week, sir, we get it fresh on Monday. Customer: Tish tish. No matter. Well, stout yeoman, four ounces of Caerphilly, if you please. Owner: Ah! It's beeeen on order, sir, for two weeks. Was expecting it this morning. Customer: 'T's Not my lucky day, is it? Aah, Bel Paese? Owner: Sorry, sir. Customer: Red Windsor? Owner: Normally, sir, yes. Today the van broke down. Customer: Ah. Stilton? Owner: Sorry. Customer: Ementhal? Gruyere? Owner: No. Customer: Any Norweigan Jarlsburg, per chance. Owner: No. Customer: Lipta? Owner: No. Customer: Lancashire? Owner: No. Customer: White Stilton? Owner: No. Customer: Danish Brew? Owner: No. Customer: Double Goucester? Owner: (pause) No. Customer: Cheshire? Owner: No. Customer: Dorset Bluveny? Owner: No. Customer: Brie, Roquefort, Pol le Veq, Port Salut, Savoy Aire, Saint Paulin, Carrier de lest, Bres Bleu, Bruson? Owner: No. Customer: Camenbert, perhaps? Owner: Ah! We have Camenbert, yessir. Customer: (suprised) You do! Excellent. Owner: Yessir. It's..ah,.....it's a bit runny... Customer: Oh, I like it runny. Owner: Well,.. It's very runny, actually, sir. Customer: No matter. Fetch hither the fromage de la Belle France! Mmmwah! Owner: I...think it's a bit runnier than you'll like it, sir. Customer: I don't care how ****ing runny it is. Hand it over with all speed. Owner: Oooooooooohhh........! (pause) Customer: What now? Owner: The cat's eaten it. Customer: (pause) Has he. Owner: She, sir. Customer: (pause) Gouda? Owner: No. Customer: Edam? Owner: No. Customer: Case Ness? Owner: No. Customer: Smoked Austrian? Owner: No. Customer: Japanese Sage Darby? Owner: No, sir. Customer: You...do *have* some cheese, don't you? Owner: (brightly) Of course, sir. It's a cheese shop, sir. We've got-- Customer: No no... don't tell me. I'm keen to guess. Owner: Fair enough. Customer: Uuuuuh, Wensleydale. Owner: Yes? Customer: Ah, well, I'll have some of that! Owner: Oh! I thought you were talking to me, sir. Mister Wensleydale, that's my name. Customer: (pause) Greek Feta? Owner: Uh, not as such. Customer: Uuh, Gorgonzola? Owner: No. Customer: Parmesan, Owner: No. Customer: Mozarella, Owner: No. Customer: Paper Cramer, Owner: No. Customer: Danish Bimbo, Owner: No. Customer: Czech sheep's milk, Owner: No. Customer: Venezuelan Beaver Cheese? Owner: Not *today*, sir, no. Customer: (pause) Aah, how about Cheddar? Owner: Well, we don't get much call for it around here, sir. Customer: Not much ca-- it's the single most popular cheese in the world! Owner: Not 'round here, sir. Customer: (slight pause) and what IS the most popular cheese 'round hyah? Owner: 'Illchester, sir. Customer: IS it. Owner: Oh, yes, it's staggeringly popular in this manor, squire. Customer: Is it. Owner: It's our number one best seller, sir! Customer: I see. Uuh...'Illchester, eh? Owner: Right, sir. Customer: All right. Okay. 'Have you got any?' he asked, expecting the answer 'no'. Owner: I'll have a look, sir........nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnno. Customer: It's not much of a cheese shop, is it? Owner: Finest in the district! Customer: (annoyed) Explain the logic underlying that conclusion, please. Owner: Well, it's so clean, sir! Customer: It's certainly uncontaminated by cheese.... Owner: (brightly) You haven't asked me about Limburger, sir. Customer: Would it be worth it? Owner: Could be.... Customer: Have you --SHUT THAT BLOODY BAZOUKI OFF! Owner: Told you sir.... Customer: (slowly) Have you got any Limburger? Owner: No. Customer: Figures.Predictable, really I suppose. It was an act of purest optimism to have posed the question in the first place. Tell me: Owner: Yessir? Customer: (deliberately) Have you in fact got any cheese here at all. Owner: Yes, sir. Customer: Really? (pause) Owner: No. Not really, sir. Customer: You haven't. Owner: Nosir. Not a scrap. I was deliberately wasting your time, sir. Customer: Well I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to shoot you. Owner: Right-Oh, sir. (The customer takes out a gun and shoots the owner) Customer: What a *senseless* waste of human life. |
|
#5
posted to alt.sailing.asa
|
|||
|
|||
|
Which is in your survival kit?
"Gilligan" wrote in message . .. The Cheese Shop by Monty Python (a customer walks in the door) Customer: Good Morning. Owner: Good morning, Sir. Welcome to the National Cheese Emporium! Customer: Ah, thank you, my good man. Owner: What can I do for you, Sir? Customer: Well, I was, uh, sitting in the public library on Thurmon Street just now, skimming through Rogue Herrys by Hugh Walpole, and I suddenly came over all peckish. Owner: Peckish, sir? Customer: Esuriant. Owner: Eh? Customer: 'Ee, ah wor 'ungry-loike! Owner: Ah, hungry! Customer: In a nutshell. And I thought to myself, "a little fermented curd will do the trick," so, I curtailed my Walpoling activites, sallied forth, and infiltrated your place of purveyance to negotiate the vending of some cheesy comestibles! Owner: Come again? Customer: I want to buy some cheese. Owner: Oh, I thought you were complaining about the bazouki player! Customer: Oh, heaven forbid: I am one who delights in all manifestations of the Terpsichorean muse! Owner: Sorry? Customer: 'Ooo, Ah lahk a nice tuune, 'yer forced too! Owner: So he can go on playing, can he? Customer: Most certainly! Now then, some cheese please, my good man. Owner: (lustily) Certainly, sir. What would you like? Customer: Well, eh, how about a little red Leicester. Owner: I'm, a-fraid we're fresh out of red Leicester, sir. Customer: Oh, never mind, how are you on Tilsit? Owner: I'm afraid we never have that at the end of the week, sir, we get it fresh on Monday. Customer: Tish tish. No matter. Well, stout yeoman, four ounces of Caerphilly, if you please. Owner: Ah! It's beeeen on order, sir, for two weeks. Was expecting it this morning. Customer: 'T's Not my lucky day, is it? Aah, Bel Paese? Owner: Sorry, sir. Customer: Red Windsor? Owner: Normally, sir, yes. Today the van broke down. Customer: Ah. Stilton? Owner: Sorry. Customer: Ementhal? Gruyere? Owner: No. Customer: Any Norweigan Jarlsburg, per chance. Owner: No. Customer: Lipta? Owner: No. Customer: Lancashire? Owner: No. Customer: White Stilton? Owner: No. Customer: Danish Brew? Owner: No. Customer: Double Goucester? Owner: (pause) No. Customer: Cheshire? Owner: No. Customer: Dorset Bluveny? Owner: No. Customer: Brie, Roquefort, Pol le Veq, Port Salut, Savoy Aire, Saint Paulin, Carrier de lest, Bres Bleu, Bruson? Owner: No. Customer: Camenbert, perhaps? Owner: Ah! We have Camenbert, yessir. Customer: (suprised) You do! Excellent. Owner: Yessir. It's..ah,.....it's a bit runny... Customer: Oh, I like it runny. Owner: Well,.. It's very runny, actually, sir. Customer: No matter. Fetch hither the fromage de la Belle France! Mmmwah! Owner: I...think it's a bit runnier than you'll like it, sir. Customer: I don't care how ****ing runny it is. Hand it over with all speed. Owner: Oooooooooohhh........! (pause) Customer: What now? Owner: The cat's eaten it. Customer: (pause) Has he. Owner: She, sir. Customer: (pause) Gouda? Owner: No. Customer: Edam? Owner: No. Customer: Case Ness? Owner: No. Customer: Smoked Austrian? Owner: No. Customer: Japanese Sage Darby? Owner: No, sir. Customer: You...do *have* some cheese, don't you? Owner: (brightly) Of course, sir. It's a cheese shop, sir. We've got-- Customer: No no... don't tell me. I'm keen to guess. Owner: Fair enough. Customer: Uuuuuh, Wensleydale. Owner: Yes? Customer: Ah, well, I'll have some of that! Owner: Oh! I thought you were talking to me, sir. Mister Wensleydale, that's my name. Customer: (pause) Greek Feta? Owner: Uh, not as such. Customer: Uuh, Gorgonzola? Owner: No. Customer: Parmesan, Owner: No. Customer: Mozarella, Owner: No. Customer: Paper Cramer, Owner: No. Customer: Danish Bimbo, Owner: No. Customer: Czech sheep's milk, Owner: No. Customer: Venezuelan Beaver Cheese? Owner: Not *today*, sir, no. Customer: (pause) Aah, how about Cheddar? Owner: Well, we don't get much call for it around here, sir. Customer: Not much ca-- it's the single most popular cheese in the world! Owner: Not 'round here, sir. Customer: (slight pause) and what IS the most popular cheese 'round hyah? Owner: 'Illchester, sir. Customer: IS it. Owner: Oh, yes, it's staggeringly popular in this manor, squire. Customer: Is it. Owner: It's our number one best seller, sir! Customer: I see. Uuh...'Illchester, eh? Owner: Right, sir. Customer: All right. Okay. 'Have you got any?' he asked, expecting the answer 'no'. Owner: I'll have a look, sir........nnnnnnnnnnnnnnnno. Customer: It's not much of a cheese shop, is it? Owner: Finest in the district! Customer: (annoyed) Explain the logic underlying that conclusion, please. Owner: Well, it's so clean, sir! Customer: It's certainly uncontaminated by cheese.... Owner: (brightly) You haven't asked me about Limburger, sir. Customer: Would it be worth it? Owner: Could be.... Customer: Have you --SHUT THAT BLOODY BAZOUKI OFF! Owner: Told you sir.... Customer: (slowly) Have you got any Limburger? Owner: No. Customer: Figures.Predictable, really I suppose. It was an act of purest optimism to have posed the question in the first place. Tell me: Owner: Yessir? Customer: (deliberately) Have you in fact got any cheese here at all. Owner: Yes, sir. Customer: Really? (pause) Owner: No. Not really, sir. Customer: You haven't. Owner: Nosir. Not a scrap. I was deliberately wasting your time, sir. Customer: Well I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to shoot you. Owner: Right-Oh, sir. (The customer takes out a gun and shoots the owner) Customer: What a *senseless* waste of human life. I'm making a cheese sandwich now... S |
|
#7
posted to alt.sailing.asa
|
|||
|
|||
|
Which is in your survival kit?
Scotty wrote:
"Seahag" wrote in message ... "Gilligan" wrote in message . .. The Cheese Shop by Monty Python I'm making a cheese sandwich now... Cheddar? You notice there was no mention of squirty cheese in that entire dialigue? Wanna know why? CIVILIZED people DO NOT consime squirty cheese....they put it on rat traps...the rats die of eating the cheese.... |
|
#8
posted to alt.sailing.asa
|
|||
|
|||
|
Which is in your survival kit?
"katy" wrote in message ... The Cheese Shop by Monty Python I'm making a cheese sandwich now... Cheddar? You notice there was no mention of squirty cheese in that entire dialigue? Wanna know why? because it took place in Britian? CIVILIZED people DO NOT consime squirty cheese....they put it on rat traps...the rats die of eating the cheese.... i put a can in a mouse trap once, they never touched it. Scotty |
|
#9
posted to alt.sailing.asa
|
|||
|
|||
|
Which is in your survival kit?
"Scotty" wrote in message ... "Seahag" wrote in message ... "Gilligan" wrote in message . .. The Cheese Shop by Monty Python I'm making a cheese sandwich now... Cheddar? Grilled swiss. |
|
#10
posted to alt.sailing.asa
|
|||
|
|||
|
Which is in your survival kit?
"Seahag" wrote in message ... The Cheese Shop by Monty Python I'm making a cheese sandwich now... Cheddar? Grilled swiss. Mmmm, my favorite. Lisa hates it, she even gags at the smell. Scotty |
|
| Thread Tools | Search this Thread |
| Display Modes | |
|
|
Similar Threads
|
||||
| Thread | Forum | |||
| Was Suits V. Raft: They are not SURVIVAL Suits! | Cruising | |||
| OT--Harry, you're America's best chance for survival | General | |||
| New survival suit | Cruising | |||
| A classic tale of suffering and survival of seamen | ASA | |||
| Incredible MOB survival story! | General | |||
Hybrid Mode
