Who We Are and What We (And God) Believe

Our Bible Based Policy Against The Unsaved

As most churches liberalize themselves and reject the commandments written
by God in the Holy Bible, the Landover Baptist Church continues to do
exactly what scripture teaches every Christian to do. And that is to keep
the temple of the living God a clean vessel, untarnished by even a hint of
fellowship with the unrighteous.

"Whosoever transgresseth, and abideth not in the doctrine of Christ,
hath not God. He that abideth in the doctrine of Christ, he hath both the
Father and the Son. If there come any unto you, and bring not this doctrine,
receive him not into your house, neither bid him God speed: For he that
biddeth him God speed is partaker of his evil deeds" (2 John 1:9-11).

"Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what
fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath
light with darkness? And what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part
hath he that believeth with an infidel? And what agreement hath the temple
of God with idols? for ye are the temple of the living God; as God hath
said, I will dwell in them, and walk in them; and I will be their God, and
they shall be my people. Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye
separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will
receive you." (2 Corinthians 6:14-17).

We pray that God sends his Holy Spirit upon this Christian Nation and opens
up the hearts of other Bible believing Christians so that they will adopt
the same Bible-based policy that has kept our church strong for nearly 217
Godly years. For a list of common-sense reasons for keeping unsaved people
out of your church click here.

About Us

We are a Bible believing, Fundamentalist, Independent Baptist Church. We are
157,000 members strong. Our Church Campus is located in Freehold, Iowa and
rests on 35 acres of some of the most beautiful country you'd ever care to
set your eyes upon. Our church holds 28 paid pastors, 131 paid deacons, 412
full time staff members, LCA (Landover Christian Academy), LCU (Landover
Christian University), 11 fully equipped chapels, Four 2,000 seat
sanctuaries, Three 5,000 seat main sanctuaries, the world's largest
Christian Mall, a Christian Amusement Park (Landover Bible Theme Park and
Red Sea World), A PGA 18 Hole Golf Course, 3 Fitness Centers, 4 Olympic
sized swimming pools, Landover Village, Landover Towers, Landover Retirement
Community, Center For 2 Churches On Every City Block Foundation, Leviticus
Landing (An Exclusive Gated Executive Christian Community for Platinum
Tithers™), Exodus Acres (Gold Tithers' Gated Community), *27 Developments,
Landover All Purpose Multi-Temple, Spa and Resort Center, Fire Department,
100,000 seat amphitheater, 12 Television studios, 2 radio stations, A
Christian Circus Camp, Retreat Center for Republican Candidates, 3 Corporate
Christian Office Parks, hot springs, 8 cemeteries, and 243 fully certified
Christian police officers.

A Godly Warning

We Believe in the WHOLE Bible (1611 KJV). We don't throw out the parts that
make us feel uncomfortable, like the book of Leviticus. We bid you
greetings, friend. We do not read, eat, consume, digest, or 'try on' any
product that is not made and manufactured by born-again, Bible believing,
Fundamentalist Baptist Christians, and we would have you know that we
condemn anyone that does, and pray as King David did, 'against them' for a
quick end and a speedy journey to a very hot place, where they can spend out
all eternity honoring our Lord and Maker in a literal lake of fire, Amen.
Please find our site a blessing.!

Christian Attire
Click Here For an Invaluable True Christian™ Resource on Proper Womenly
Attire

We believe that when a person first gets saved, the first thing they should
do is buy a suit and a tie. If the individual is a female, then a dress not
raised over an inch above the knee is acceptable. Clothing is perhaps the
most important thing about being a Christian. If one is not properly clothed
and fully representative of what God would want them to appear like.. well
then, that person is probably not saved. Our motto is "get saved, get to a
Christian Clothing store, and get fitted for the kingdom." Anyone who does
not conform to the dress code at Landover Baptist will be fined no less than
$300.00 a violation. It is a privilege to be a Christian and we believe that
it is about time folks started acting like it!

Christian Behavior

A man should act like a man, and a woman should act like a woman. That about
sums it up. We will go into further detail here by stating that all
authority is granted to Pastor Deacon Fred Smith. This is in full accordance
with Romans 13. If you are not familiar with Romans 13, well then we suggest
you read it. A good ten or twelve readings of Leviticus wouldn't hurt
either. Our pastor sometimes uses his godly authority to invoke the Lord's
Law from the Bible in Leviticus. This is sometimes too much for some folks.
If they refuse punishment, then they have the option of paying a $500.00
fine plus expenses accrued by the planning committee of Levitical Law
Implementation. If you haven't cracked a Bible in a few years.. then
Landover is not for you.

General Rules

The following violations will result in a monetary fine of no less than
$200.00 as to be determined by Church Pastors and Elders: Failure to show up
at church on time, Failure to attend a church service without written
permission from a pastor or other agreed upon authority, Church parking lot
violations, Single males or females caught in the houses of members of the
opposite sex without proper supervision, out after curfew, failure to tithe,
failure to perform Christian Service obligations, Use of a church key
without proper permission, Sleeping and/or horseplay during church services,
reading of 'crime oriented' comic books, possession of alcohol outside of
Post Communion Party regulations, idol worship, inappropriate dress in town
or in church, dress related to 'counter-culture' movement, beards are not
allowed except with special permission from Pastor Smith himself, long
earrings on women, use of tampons is strictly prohibited, men with earrings
or jewelry of any kind, hugging, possession of pornographic material (except
for widowed or single men over the age of 65), failure to identify oneself
to a church authority, failure to answer a call slip, witchcraft, dancing
and/or skipping, association with Catholics, Presbyterians, Mormons,
Methodists, Unitarians, Episkypols, or any other occult activity (unless
under supervision by Dr. J. Edwards), failure to conform to rules and
regulations, failure to submit to authority, the questioning of church
authority is not tolerated and may result in dismissal, failure to bring at
least one new guest to church a week, failure to win at least one soul a
week, disrespect, lying, stealing, cheating, plotting, failure to have a
demon-possessed infant sterilized, attendance at non-Christian owned picture
houses, and rock music. General Rules are subject to change at any time
without notice. Members are expected to find out what the new rules are
within two hours. Let us note here, 'A Christian who is interested in doing
their own thing, will not feel comfortable at Landover.. we would even go as
far to question whether or not that individual is a Christian to begin with.

Visiting Landover Baptist

You will want to make your reservations 2 years in advance for any service
where head Pastor, Deacon Fred is preaching. (Please be patient, we are
booked solid) Cost is $75.00 per person. Other services and guided tours can
be arranged by calling the Landover Information line at: 1-900-976-7867.
Reservations for church attendance and payments to hear the gospel of Christ
can be arranged through a Christian extension of Priceline.com ticket sales
(keyword: priceline.com - landover baptist church ticket sales)

Bob Crantz wrote:

Who We Are and What We (And God) Believe

Our Bible Based Policy Against The Unsaved

As most churches liberalize themselves and reject the commandments written
by God in the Holy Bible, the Landover Baptist Church continues to do
exactly what scripture teaches every Christian to do. And that is to keep
the temple of the living God a clean vessel, untarnished by even a hint of
fellowship with the unrighteous.


I've never heard that perspective--not in a church anyway. That is tough
love without the love. I always thought it was better, to follow Christ's
example, as much as any human sinner is able to. Ever heard the phrase "in,
but not of"? I don't think Christ called me to build a big wall around
myself. God calls sinners to repent to Him, not to you, or me. To see
the "unrighteous," we just have to look in the mirror. Every one of us.

Love and Mercy

"Bob Crantz" wrote

Who We Are and What We (And God) Believe

Y'all deophagists are truly weird. All of you. Not just Bob. You claim that
your church infallibly knows what is right and what is wrong. God forbid
mankind that knowledge, remember? It was given to Eve then Adam by SATAN.
God also forbid mankind eternal life. He cast Adam and Eve out of Eden to
prevent them from partaking of it. Yet your churches promise it if one obeys
their rules. Any church that claims one forbidden fruit and promises the
other can only be serving SATAN! Get thee as far from it as you can!