Does anyone still have all those fine old ramp stories circulating on here
about a year or two back?
The best was the one about Bubba and his 300 HP racing merc OB and how he
pulled the tow vehicle into the lake with it!
Fredo

"Mr Wizzard" wrote in message
...

"Genius? Not!" wrote in message
. ..

Dude! - I can *so* relate!! I got a new Bayliner 175 Capri, and
struggled with almost all of the items you mentined. However, I
had the help of a experienced boater with me for the first few
outings, but I'm on my own now, so yeah, I can relate fully!
(and your piece is written pretty cool too!)

So that covers a lot of "logistics", but how about your actual
outting itself? Waves, dodging people, other boats etc?
So have you hit a wave yet and come down and landed so
hard that it knocked you senseless? I recently did this, and
don't know if I caused any damage, or if this is semi-normal,
or just how much of a slam landing a boat like this can take.

That whole backing up of the trailer *sucks*, and thats all
there is to it. (there is no sugar coating it). Might have to
do with the truck, and trailer design, but all I know is that
my 1996 F-150 4x4 w/ short box makes backing my boat
in a straight line very difficult (short wheel base on F-150
small box). Anyways, I found what helps is to take the
boat to the local school (school's out), and keep practicing
until you either go mad, puke, go silly, the tranny drops out,
or you get so fustrated that you back the thing thru the fence,
and on to the 4-lane highway, and a Mach truck takes it out
(in which case its game over). Being new to it, I make it a
point to go to the school before every outing, and again
on the way home from the outing before I get back home
so that I don't embarass myself in front of the neighbors.
Even then, I still sometimes handing up putting the thing
on the neighbors lawn. (but I'm getting better) The
challange for ME is that fricking gas meter upside the
house. I got 1 foot (max) between house/gas meter, and
the edge of the gravel RV pad and the neighbor's lawn
(and this really sharp concrete scallops lawn edging).
Taking out that gas meter really *WOULD* be "game over"...


Ok, so I'm new to boating and I've got an 18 foot boat with which to get
my
feet wet. Here's the first couple of dumbass things I've done with or to
my
new boat. Let's hope that I start learning from other people's mistakes
and
don't make the same one's twice. In fact, I wish that for everyone!

Did you know that when you raft up with a friends taller boat that
someone's
fender is going to rub the decal off your boat? No worries, it's a small
blemish (I'm sure it's not the last).

Did you know that the Sherriff doesn't like it when you create a wake in
the
no wake zone? Oops; seriously, it was a definition glitch (a wake is not
defined by the presence or absence of white water - a wake is a wake is a
wake). I got off with a warning, but had to suffer a prolonged
discussion
as I was used as training material.

Did you know that when you tie your boat up alongside the open water side
of
the dock, and you tie it tight to the dock, that even with fenders, your
protective rubber trim will get knocked out of its track? In defense of
my
boating buddy, he told me not to tie it tight to the dock. The problem
was,
from a distance, it sounded like he told me to tie it tight to the dock.
Sigh. I did learn that those orange pfd's make great fenders.

Not last and not least, did you know that you should put the prop into
trailer mode the second you tie up to the launch dock? No damage on
pulling
up the ramp, but plenty of embarrassment.

Now for the piece de resistance. A writer I'm not, but I'll try to
convey
the scene for you boat ramp sadists. We pull up to the dock and squeeze
in
behind a boat that was just launched. The boat in front is ready to go,
but
the boss went to park his trailer and the rest of us are stuck (at least
those of us that aren't quite ready for the delicate task of driving the
boat onto the trailer) waiting for his boat to move out of the way.
Well,
I
had a great parking space so I was ready to back the trailer down as soon
as
the just launched boat found it's owner so it could pull away and let us
move our boat forward. My wife, an impatient woman, god love her,
decides
she isn't going to wait for the boat to move, unties our boat, jumps in
the
water with the boat and walks it to the middle of the ramp. The first
thing
I know about this is when I look back (remember, still waiting for an
absent
owner to move his boat) and see my wife chest deep in water not even
holding
a dock line as the boat begins to turn sideways. Yeah, this is where I
start yelling at her 'cause I'm an ass and don't know what else to do.
Now
I have to back down (remember, I'm new to backing trailers) to the middle
of
the ramp (sorry folks, I know I'm taking up two spaces, but .... To make
matters worse, we can't agree on whether the boat is on the trailer
correctly (I'm worried about is to far to one side or the other and
hitting
the wheel well. Enough is enough and I pull the damn boat out of the
water
and out of the way only to have my kids run up and tell me the boat ain't
right. Ah crap! It probably wasn't as bad as it seemed, but it was
cockeyed on the trailer. I didn't realize that lined up means nothing if
the blasted thing is still floating when you start yanking it out of the
water. It gets even better. For some crazy reason (it's 5pm on a Sunday
night), there's a line a block long waiting to launch (someone's got to
explain this to me). I figure I'm not going anywhere until I reload my
boat, but the next guy in line with the sea doos, says hell no get in
line.
And so on. Anyway, we got the boat reloaded, correctly this time, but
we're
not speaking to each other for awhile (at least not anything nice - I'm
dying from the embarrassment of a wife who won't do what I tell her to do
and a hundred witnesses to that and to me not knowing what the hell I'm
doing with the boat. Maybe you can picture this; maybe not. It was
actually the next trip where I figured out why the boat didn't stay where
I
thought I had put it.

Hey, I'm sure there's more to follow, but I hope not!

Marty

"FREDO" wrote in message
.. .
Does anyone still have all those fine old ramp stories circulating on here
about a year or two back?
The best was the one about Bubba and his 300 HP racing merc OB and how he
pulled the tow vehicle into the lake with it!
Fredo

Fredo,
It took only two sentences to give me a great laugh! The imagery is
excellent.
Thanks

Oh yes! This adventure from a few years ago when I owned a 25' Bayliner and
kept it on a lift:

3-28-99



Yesterday afternoon upon arriving at the dock from fishing on the Sacramento
River, I was just finishing up the chores of docking and raising the boat on
it's boat lift. I do these chores after every cruise, there's nothing to
it!



A boat lift is a fine device when operated properly. It acts much like a
submarine. Pump out the air by filling the tanks with water through valves
and it submerses down on guides so that the boat may be guided in above it.
You then pump out the water with air and the boat lift raises, bringing the
boat high and dry out of the water....just like the picture shows!



My boat happens to weigh in at about 6,000 lbs or so. In the process of
lifting the boat out of the water, the bow comes up first, probably at about
35 degrees, and the dock lines at each side of the boat hold it in place on
the bunk while on such an angle. The stern is then raised until it reaches
the same elevation as the bow.



I discovered today that it takes BOTH lines to hold this boat in place while
on the steep angle!



Because the delta canvas was still in place around the cockpit (back) of the
boat, I placed the line under the canvas to attach to the cleat, but somehow
forgot the last part....the "attach" part.



Of course, by this time the outdrive is raised, the cabin door is locked and
my briefcase, cell phone, etc. are setting on the dock waiting to go home.
Upon reaching the 35 degree angle, with only a single dock line in place,
the four year old tired, frayed dock line snapped in two with a loud SNAP
followed by another POP as the shore power cord parted company with the dock
plug!



Now then, things move pretty fast at a time like this. The boat began a
sudden, unannounced launch at 35 degrees into the river! At this point, one
must gather his senses pretty quickly and decide among these options:



A) WHAT THE HELL!!

B) WHAT THE HELL!!

C) Let the dang thing go, I'll swim in after it....

D) This boat ain't stopping no matter what I do and I damn sure better get
on as she slips gracefully down the ways!!!



I chose D. Within two or three seconds of "SNAP!...POP!" I was aboard a
moving boat with........ 1) The engine off, 2) the outdrive up, 3) the cabin
door locked, 4)no telephone to call for help, and 5) a thoroughly confused
skipper now in need of fresh underwear! Also, the cockpit was surrounded by
canvas, the bow hatch was locked tight and so were the windows.



Fortunately, no one was near the dock to witness this fine boat handling
moment! (I Hope.)



It was truly amazing how quickly one can unbutton a section of canvas at a
time like this! I unlocked the door quicker than humanly possible, then
lowered the outdrive and started the engine so fast that the engine computer
still hasn't caught up!



After all was said and done, nothing was damaged but the dock line and the
shore power cord receptacle. My pride was not damaged, of course, because I
had just come home from a fishing trip, utterly skunked, and with no pride
left!

-Dale Gillespie 3-28-99






--
Dale Gillespie

My Homepage: www.FishWisher.com
My RV Site: http://groups.msn.com/CoachpotatosRV..._whatsnew.msnw
"Genius? Not!" wrote in message
. ..

"FishWisher" wrote in message
...
Oh yes! This adventure from a few years ago when I owned a 25' Bayliner
and kept it on a lift:

3-28-99



Yesterday afternoon upon arriving at the dock from fishing on the
Sacramento River, I was just finishing up the chores of docking and
raising the boat on it's boat lift. I do these chores after every cruise,
there's nothing to it!



A boat lift is a fine device when operated properly.

Great story!

I hope it gets better for you! Great stories though.
Curtis

"Genius? Not!" wrote in message
. ..
Ok, so I'm new to boating and I've got an 18 foot boat with which to get
my feet wet. Here's the first couple of dumbass things I've done with or
to my new boat. Let's hope that I start learning from other people's
mistakes and don't make the same one's twice. In fact, I wish that for
everyone!

Did you know that when you raft up with a friends taller boat that
someone's fender is going to rub the decal off your boat? No worries,
it's a small blemish (I'm sure it's not the last).

Did you know that the Sherriff doesn't like it when you create a wake in
the no wake zone? Oops; seriously, it was a definition glitch (a wake is
not defined by the presence or absence of white water - a wake is a wake
is a wake). I got off with a warning, but had to suffer a prolonged
discussion as I was used as training material.

Did you know that when you tie your boat up alongside the open water side
of the dock, and you tie it tight to the dock, that even with fenders,
your protective rubber trim will get knocked out of its track? In defense
of my boating buddy, he told me not to tie it tight to the dock. The
problem was, from a distance, it sounded like he told me to tie it tight
to the dock. Sigh. I did learn that those orange pfd's make great
fenders.

Not last and not least, did you know that you should put the prop into
trailer mode the second you tie up to the launch dock? No damage on
pulling up the ramp, but plenty of embarrassment.

Now for the piece de resistance. A writer I'm not, but I'll try to convey
the scene for you boat ramp sadists. We pull up to the dock and squeeze
in behind a boat that was just launched. The boat in front is ready to
go, but the boss went to park his trailer and the rest of us are stuck (at
least those of us that aren't quite ready for the delicate task of driving
the boat onto the trailer) waiting for his boat to move out of the way.
Well, I had a great parking space so I was ready to back the trailer down
as soon as the just launched boat found it's owner so it could pull away
and let us move our boat forward. My wife, an impatient woman, god love
her, decides she isn't going to wait for the boat to move, unties our
boat, jumps in the water with the boat and walks it to the middle of the
ramp. The first thing I know about this is when I look back (remember,
still waiting for an absent owner to move his boat) and see my wife chest
deep in water not even holding a dock line as the boat begins to turn
sideways. Yeah, this is where I start yelling at her 'cause I'm an ass
and don't know what else to do. Now I have to back down (remember, I'm
new to backing trailers) to the middle of the ramp (sorry folks, I know
I'm taking up two spaces, but .... To make matters worse, we can't agree
on whether the boat is on the trailer correctly (I'm worried about is to
far to one side or the other and hitting the wheel well. Enough is enough
and I pull the damn boat out of the water and out of the way only to have
my kids run up and tell me the boat ain't right. Ah crap! It probably
wasn't as bad as it seemed, but it was cockeyed on the trailer. I didn't
realize that lined up means nothing if the blasted thing is still floating
when you start yanking it out of the water. It gets even better. For some
crazy reason (it's 5pm on a Sunday night), there's a line a block long
waiting to launch (someone's got to explain this to me). I figure I'm not
going anywhere until I reload my boat, but the next guy in line with the
sea doos, says hell no get in line. And so on. Anyway, we got the boat
reloaded, correctly this time, but we're not speaking to each other for
awhile (at least not anything nice - I'm dying from the embarrassment of a
wife who won't do what I tell her to do and a hundred witnesses to that
and to me not knowing what the hell I'm doing with the boat. Maybe you
can picture this; maybe not. It was actually the next trip where I
figured out why the boat didn't stay where I thought I had put it.

Hey, I'm sure there's more to follow, but I hope not!

Marty

On Tue, 26 Jul 2005 04:28:47 GMT, "Genius? Not!"
wrote:

~~ snippage ~~

Hey, I'm sure there's more to follow, but I hope not!

Great tales and instructive.

It's funny, in all the years I've trailered boats, I've had exactly
one incident offloading a boat when it got away from me and had to be
retrieved by a friendly boater.

I've been very lucky.

Don't forget to forget to leave your drain plug out at least once when you
launch. That's always a barrel of laughs.

Around 7/25/2005 9:28 PM, Genius? Not! wrote:

Ok, so I'm new to boating and I've got an 18 foot boat with which to get my
feet wet. Here's the first couple of dumbass things I've done with or to my
new boat. Let's hope that I start learning from other people's mistakes and
don't make the same one's twice. In fact, I wish that for everyone!

Did you know that when you raft up with a friends taller boat that someone's
fender is going to rub the decal off your boat? No worries, it's a small
blemish (I'm sure it's not the last).

Decals? Who uses decals on boats?


Did you know that the Sherriff doesn't like it when you create a wake in the
no wake zone? Oops; seriously, it was a definition glitch (a wake is not
defined by the presence or absence of white water - a wake is a wake is a
wake). I got off with a warning, but had to suffer a prolonged discussion
as I was used as training material.

I did in fact know that.


Did you know that when you tie your boat up alongside the open water side of
the dock, and you tie it tight to the dock, that even with fenders, your
protective rubber trim will get knocked out of its track?

Yep! It'll do that as long as it's still reasonably pliable. Funny; I
didn't have that problem with my 38-year-old hard-as-a-rock trim.

In defense of my
boating buddy, he told me not to tie it tight to the dock. The problem was,
from a distance, it sounded like he told me to tie it tight to the dock.
Sigh. I did learn that those orange pfd's make great fenders.

Temporary ones, though - they don't tend to last long in fender duty.


Not last and not least, did you know that you should put the prop into
trailer mode the second you tie up to the launch dock? No damage on pulling
up the ramp, but plenty of embarrassment.

Yep.


Now for the piece de resistance. A writer I'm not, but I'll try to convey
the scene for you boat ramp sadists. We pull up to the dock and squeeze in
behind a boat that was just launched. The boat in front is ready to go, but
the boss went to park his trailer and the rest of us are stuck (at least
those of us that aren't quite ready for the delicate task of driving the
boat onto the trailer) waiting for his boat to move out of the way. Well, I
had a great parking space so I was ready to back the trailer down as soon as
the just launched boat found it's owner so it could pull away and let us
move our boat forward. My wife, an impatient woman, god love her, decides
she isn't going to wait for the boat to move, unties our boat, jumps in the
water with the boat and walks it to the middle of the ramp. The first thing
I know about this is when I look back (remember, still waiting for an absent
owner to move his boat) and see my wife chest deep in water not even holding
a dock line as the boat begins to turn sideways. Yeah, this is where I
start yelling at her 'cause I'm an ass and don't know what else to do. Now
I have to back down (remember, I'm new to backing trailers) to the middle of
the ramp (sorry folks, I know I'm taking up two spaces, but .... To make
matters worse, we can't agree on whether the boat is on the trailer
correctly (I'm worried about is to far to one side or the other and hitting
the wheel well. Enough is enough and I pull the damn boat out of the water
and out of the way only to have my kids run up and tell me the boat ain't
right. Ah crap! It probably wasn't as bad as it seemed, but it was
cockeyed on the trailer. I didn't realize that lined up means nothing if
the blasted thing is still floating when you start yanking it out of the
water. It gets even better. For some crazy reason (it's 5pm on a Sunday
night), there's a line a block long waiting to launch (someone's got to
explain this to me). I figure I'm not going anywhere until I reload my
boat, but the next guy in line with the sea doos, says hell no get in line.
And so on. Anyway, we got the boat reloaded, correctly this time, but we're
not speaking to each other for awhile (at least not anything nice - I'm
dying from the embarrassment of a wife who won't do what I tell her to do
and a hundred witnesses to that and to me not knowing what the hell I'm
doing with the boat. Maybe you can picture this; maybe not.

Picture it, heck: I've seen situations like that more times than I can
count.


It was
actually the next trip where I figured out why the boat didn't stay where I
thought I had put it.

You might try not backing the trailer in so deep. Depending on the
trailer, even a little bit more out of the water might help the boat to
self-center itself.


Hey, I'm sure there's more to follow, but I hope not!

I hope so! It makes for a refreshing change from the usual wrecked.boats
fare.

--
~/Garth - 1966 Glastron V-142 Skiflite: "Blue-Boat"
"There is nothing - absolutely nothing - half so much worth doing
as simply messing about in boats."
-Kenneth Grahame, The Wind in the Willows

"Garth Almgren" wrote in message
...
Around 7/25/2005 9:28 PM, Genius? Not! wrote:

It was actually the next trip where I figured out why the boat didn't
stay where I thought I had put it.

You might try not backing the trailer in so deep. Depending on the
trailer, even a little bit more out of the water might help the boat to
self-center itself.


Hey, I'm sure there's more to follow, but I hope not!

I hope so! It makes for a refreshing change from the usual wrecked.boats
fare.

I'm glad you appreciated the contribution to the ng. And thanks for the
tip.

Someone mentioned somewhere that I should back in enough to get the bunks
wet, then pull forward until ...; it's the until that I haven't figured out
yet.

"Genius? Not!" wrote in message
...

Someone mentioned somewhere that I should back in enough to get the bunks
wet, then pull forward until ...; it's the until that I haven't figured
out yet.


It's different with every boat/trailer combination, as well as the slant of
the ramp and the shape of the hull. My boat's small, and the hull's not a
deep V. On a steep ramp, if I put too much trailer in the water, the boat
doesn't contact the bunks until it's 90% on the trailer, at which point it's
probably not sitting straight relative to the trailer, due to wind or
whatever. The boat's light enough that I after I pull away from the ramp, I
can shove the boat into position just by lifting it, but that's just so
un-stylish. :-)

Then, there are the ramp demons. I'll launch & pull out 50 times in a row,
getting everything perfect. And then, the 51st time, on a day with no wind,
no rush to get out of the next guy's way, no beer in the captain, same ramp
as always, and everything turns to crap and it's like I'm a blind man trying
to steer the truck with one toe while being shot at AND swarmed by bees.
Ramp demons are the only explanation.