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Secular Humorist September 20th 10 04:47 PM

Golf madness
 
On 9/20/10 11:40 AM, I am Tosk wrote:
In ,
says...

On Mon, 20 Sep 2010 11:21:02 -0400, Secular Humorist
wrote:

On 9/20/10 11:10 AM, I am Tosk wrote:
In ,
says...

On 9/20/10 10:40 AM, I am Tosk wrote:
In ,
says...

On 9/20/10 10:27 AM, I am Tosk wrote:
In om,

says...

In ,
says...

If it weren't a mixed crowd, the guy who didn't make it to the ladies
tee would have been obligated to present his wares in a walk of shame.

I'm not sure of the origins of the tradition but it's well-known.

Sounds like it started when your gay friend decided to make a fool out
of you..snerk

--
OH, I could do the 105 footer, but I would hate to waste the last few
seconds of my life with my eyes closed, screaming like a little
girl...;)

Sounds like you have lots of experience with gay friends! Good for you!

You kiddin' me? There isn't an internet maven who loves a golden
shower more than The Freak. Just ask his motocross club!

He's obviously never played golf with straight guys.

What is a "golden shower?"

Pfffttt, if he came to my "motocross" club, he would go home to the
little cum guzzler in a pine box and he knows it...



Ohhh...so you don't fans to come by and see your family circling the
track slowly, eh? Or are you saying your fellow club members are
violence-prone little ****s...like you?

Pffft, better than a bunch of useless fat old *******s like you:)



So, they are violence-prone little ****s...like you?

Yeah, so you better stay under your desk fat man.



Oh, please...I'm not frightened of sawed-off little ****s like you and
your motorbike gang-bangers. You're no Johnny Strabler, and your gang of
motorbikers aren't the Black Rebels. You're just little **** tosk.


Whose chosen moniker comes from a sci-fi fantasy. He's too afraid to
dress up like those Trekies you see on the news so he puts a vinyl
suit on a putts around a mud rink pretending he's riding in his space
pod.


Yeah, and what's wrong with that? BTW,plonk



What? Putting on a plastic suit to putt-putt around a mud rink while
pretending you're driving a space pod?

Oh, nothing. When my kids were little tykes, they sorta did that at
amusement parks...pretend they were driving a space pod...

Let me know when your family members are racing in the tourist trophy
events at the Isle of Man...the best motorcycle races in the world.


nom=de=plume[_2_] September 20th 10 05:15 PM

Golf madness
 

"*e#c" wrote in message
...
On Sep 18, 4:08 pm, "nom=de=plume" wrote:
wrote in message

...



On Fri, 17 Sep 2010 12:00:09 -0700, "nom=de=plume"
wrote:


Ok... I played golf yesterday afternoon... it's been ages, but I did ok
against three guys who play a lot. I scored 64 on the 9 holes and came
in
third by 1 hit (he lost 3 balls in a small lake on one hole). My best
first
shot was about 170 yards dead straight (with cheering from the guys)
using
a
#1, and I got 1 par on a par 3. Oh, and the clubs were borrowed.


Some kids had a toy sailboat on the pond, so this post is on-topic. :)


Golf is great if you throw away the score card, only remember your
good shots and enjoy the day out in a nice park that lets you drive a
cart and hit balls with a stick.
Take plenty of ammo and don't waste a lot of time chasing balls that
went into the woods. (think dollar store, $10 for 2 dozen)
Another tip. Tee up every shot. It makes you look like a pro when you
pop that ball up out of the sand with your driver and go 200 yards
from a fairway trap. Tiger can't do that. ;-)


If anyone complains just tell them to assess the proper number of
penalty strokes ... oops you don't have a score card.


Gotta keep score... that's what we do! (lawyers)

FYI, I didn't lose a single ball. :)


That's why Sharks don't bite Lawyers..." Professional Courtesy"...lol.
( couldn't help myself...)


No... it's true. My bite is far, far worse than my bark.


nom=de=plume[_2_] September 20th 10 08:05 PM

Golf madness
 

wrote in message
...
On Sun, 19 Sep 2010 19:01:23 -0700, jps wrote:

On Sat, 18 Sep 2010 20:07:06 -0400, wrote:

On Sat, 18 Sep 2010 13:08:36 -0700, "nom=de=plume"
wrote:


wrote in message
m...
On Fri, 17 Sep 2010 12:00:09 -0700, "nom=de=plume"
wrote:

Ok... I played golf yesterday afternoon... it's been ages, but I did
ok
against three guys who play a lot. I scored 64 on the 9 holes and came
in
third by 1 hit (he lost 3 balls in a small lake on one hole). My best
first
shot was about 170 yards dead straight (with cheering from the guys)
using
a
#1, and I got 1 par on a par 3. Oh, and the clubs were borrowed.

Some kids had a toy sailboat on the pond, so this post is on-topic. :)

Golf is great if you throw away the score card, only remember your
good shots and enjoy the day out in a nice park that lets you drive a
cart and hit balls with a stick.
Take plenty of ammo and don't waste a lot of time chasing balls that
went into the woods. (think dollar store, $10 for 2 dozen)
Another tip. Tee up every shot. It makes you look like a pro when you
pop that ball up out of the sand with your driver and go 200 yards
from a fairway trap. Tiger can't do that. ;-)

If anyone complains just tell them to assess the proper number of
penalty strokes ... oops you don't have a score card.

Gotta keep score... that's what we do! (lawyers)

FYI, I didn't lose a single ball. :)


You didn't lose the 3 in the lake, you know right where they are. ;-)

I did a classic "Tin Cup" the last time I played. I hit 3 or 4 in the
lake from the same tee before I finally got one over.

I do play from the blue tees. I paid for the whole course. I am
playing it.
I get a lot more golfing for my money. Those other guys only get to
hit 80 or 90 shots. I hit 150 or more. If I don't like a shot, I tee
up another one and hit it.


You're the guy that makes the rest of us hail the course marshall...

Please tell us what the hell that foursome is doing ahead of us that
takes so bleedin' long!!!?


We play fast. Not looking for balls and screwing with bad lies more
than makes up for hitting another ball.

We also play "ready golf" When you get to your ball you hit it.

Most of the time when I play, the course is deserted anyway. If you
start after lunch in Florida in the summer, everyone else is gone
home.
When someone does come up behind us, if they don't have anyone behind
them, we will loop back behind them, replaying the previous hole. That
gets you a 20 hole day.


Yeah, but perhaps some holes are best only played one time.. lol



jps September 20th 10 08:46 PM

Golf madness
 
On Mon, 20 Sep 2010 14:14:38 -0400, wrote:

On Sun, 19 Sep 2010 19:01:23 -0700, jps wrote:

On Sat, 18 Sep 2010 20:07:06 -0400,
wrote:

On Sat, 18 Sep 2010 13:08:36 -0700, "nom=de=plume"
wrote:


wrote in message
m...
On Fri, 17 Sep 2010 12:00:09 -0700, "nom=de=plume"
wrote:

Ok... I played golf yesterday afternoon... it's been ages, but I did ok
against three guys who play a lot. I scored 64 on the 9 holes and came in
third by 1 hit (he lost 3 balls in a small lake on one hole). My best
first
shot was about 170 yards dead straight (with cheering from the guys) using
a
#1, and I got 1 par on a par 3. Oh, and the clubs were borrowed.

Some kids had a toy sailboat on the pond, so this post is on-topic. :)

Golf is great if you throw away the score card, only remember your
good shots and enjoy the day out in a nice park that lets you drive a
cart and hit balls with a stick.
Take plenty of ammo and don't waste a lot of time chasing balls that
went into the woods. (think dollar store, $10 for 2 dozen)
Another tip. Tee up every shot. It makes you look like a pro when you
pop that ball up out of the sand with your driver and go 200 yards
from a fairway trap. Tiger can't do that. ;-)

If anyone complains just tell them to assess the proper number of
penalty strokes ... oops you don't have a score card.

Gotta keep score... that's what we do! (lawyers)

FYI, I didn't lose a single ball. :)


You didn't lose the 3 in the lake, you know right where they are. ;-)

I did a classic "Tin Cup" the last time I played. I hit 3 or 4 in the
lake from the same tee before I finally got one over.

I do play from the blue tees. I paid for the whole course. I am
playing it.
I get a lot more golfing for my money. Those other guys only get to
hit 80 or 90 shots. I hit 150 or more. If I don't like a shot, I tee
up another one and hit it.


You're the guy that makes the rest of us hail the course marshall...

Please tell us what the hell that foursome is doing ahead of us that
takes so bleedin' long!!!?


We play fast. Not looking for balls and screwing with bad lies more
than makes up for hitting another ball.

We also play "ready golf" When you get to your ball you hit it.

Most of the time when I play, the course is deserted anyway. If you
start after lunch in Florida in the summer, everyone else is gone
home.
When someone does come up behind us, if they don't have anyone behind
them, we will loop back behind them, replaying the previous hole. That
gets you a 20 hole day.


I played on Kiawa on a September afternoon and thought there wasn't
enough water in the world to keep my hydrated. Between that and the
gator on the 5th hole sitting next to a pond, I thought golf in South
Carolina could be bad for your health and certainly your sense of well
being.

nom=de=plume[_2_] September 20th 10 10:40 PM

Golf madness
 

"jps" wrote in message
...
On Mon, 20 Sep 2010 14:14:38 -0400, wrote:

On Sun, 19 Sep 2010 19:01:23 -0700, jps wrote:

On Sat, 18 Sep 2010 20:07:06 -0400,
wrote:

On Sat, 18 Sep 2010 13:08:36 -0700, "nom=de=plume"
wrote:


wrote in message
om...
On Fri, 17 Sep 2010 12:00:09 -0700, "nom=de=plume"
wrote:

Ok... I played golf yesterday afternoon... it's been ages, but I did
ok
against three guys who play a lot. I scored 64 on the 9 holes and
came in
third by 1 hit (he lost 3 balls in a small lake on one hole). My best
first
shot was about 170 yards dead straight (with cheering from the guys)
using
a
#1, and I got 1 par on a par 3. Oh, and the clubs were borrowed.

Some kids had a toy sailboat on the pond, so this post is on-topic.
:)

Golf is great if you throw away the score card, only remember your
good shots and enjoy the day out in a nice park that lets you drive a
cart and hit balls with a stick.
Take plenty of ammo and don't waste a lot of time chasing balls that
went into the woods. (think dollar store, $10 for 2 dozen)
Another tip. Tee up every shot. It makes you look like a pro when you
pop that ball up out of the sand with your driver and go 200 yards
from a fairway trap. Tiger can't do that. ;-)

If anyone complains just tell them to assess the proper number of
penalty strokes ... oops you don't have a score card.

Gotta keep score... that's what we do! (lawyers)

FYI, I didn't lose a single ball. :)


You didn't lose the 3 in the lake, you know right where they are. ;-)

I did a classic "Tin Cup" the last time I played. I hit 3 or 4 in the
lake from the same tee before I finally got one over.

I do play from the blue tees. I paid for the whole course. I am
playing it.
I get a lot more golfing for my money. Those other guys only get to
hit 80 or 90 shots. I hit 150 or more. If I don't like a shot, I tee
up another one and hit it.

You're the guy that makes the rest of us hail the course marshall...

Please tell us what the hell that foursome is doing ahead of us that
takes so bleedin' long!!!?


We play fast. Not looking for balls and screwing with bad lies more
than makes up for hitting another ball.

We also play "ready golf" When you get to your ball you hit it.

Most of the time when I play, the course is deserted anyway. If you
start after lunch in Florida in the summer, everyone else is gone
home.
When someone does come up behind us, if they don't have anyone behind
them, we will loop back behind them, replaying the previous hole. That
gets you a 20 hole day.


I played on Kiawa on a September afternoon and thought there wasn't
enough water in the world to keep my hydrated. Between that and the
gator on the 5th hole sitting next to a pond, I thought golf in South
Carolina could be bad for your health and certainly your sense of well
being.


When we were playing, one hole had a fox just sitting there next to a pond.
I was like... wow... check it out! Then someone pointed out it wasn't
moving. Turns out it was a cardboard fox to scare the geese (who were
milling around near it) :)




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