The questions were posted to an international information site by
Looney/Flatulent Jim/Ditzy Dan types from the US. Smart alec answers
provided for amusement.

Now that Vancouver is hosting the 2010 Winter Olympics, these are some
questions people from all over the world are asking.

Believe it or not these questions about Canada were posted on an
International Tourism Website.

Obviously the answers are a joke; but the questions were really asked!

Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? ( USA )
A: Depends on how much you've been drinking

Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada ? ( USA )
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe Ca-na-da
is that big country to your North...oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is
every Tuesday night in Calgary Come naked.

Q: Which direction is North in Canada ? ( USA )
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees Contact us when you get here and
we'll send the rest of the directions

Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? ( USA )
A: Aus-t ri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y, which
is...oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in
Vancouver and in Calgary , straight after the hippo races. Come naked.

Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Where can
I sell it in Canada ? ( USA )
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather

Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada , but I forget its
name. It's a kind of big horse with horns. ( USA )
A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent, eating the brains of
anyone walking close to them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself
with human urine before you go out walking.

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? ( USA )
A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.