News Flash - Read All About It. New Health Care Program Changes!



JUST IN ..

Democrats, realizing the success of the President's "Cash For Clunkers"
rebate program, have revamped a major portion of their National Health Care
Plan.

President Obama, Speaker Pelosi, and Sen. Reed are expected to make this
major announcement at a joint news conference later this week. I have
obtained an advanced copy of the proposal which is named....

"CASH FOR CODGERS" and it works like this... Couples wishing to access
health care funds in order to pay for the delivery of a child will be
required to turn in one old person. The amount the government grants them
will be fixed according to a sliding scale. Older and more prescription
dependent codgers will garner the highest amounts.

Special "Bonuses" will be paid for those submitting codgers in targeted
groups, such as smokers, alcohol drinkers, persons 10 pounds over their
government prescribed weight, and any member of the Republican Party.

Smaller bonuses will be given for codgers who consume beef, soda, fried
foods, potato chips, lattes, whole milk, dairy products, bacon, Brussel
sprouts, or Girl Scout Cookies.

All codgers will be rendered totally useless via toxic injection. This will
insure that they are not secretly resold or their body parts harvested to
keep other codgers in repair.

Remember you heard it here first...