And, speaking of senior moments:

'WHERE is my SUNDAY paper?' The irate, old lady calling the newspaper
office loudly demanded, wanting to know where her Sunday edition was.

'Ma'am,' said the newspaper employee, 'today is Saturday. The Sunday paper
is not delivered until tomorrow, on Sunday.'

There was quite a long pause on the other end of the phone, followed by a
ray of recognition. as she was heard to mutter, 'Well, ****... so that's
why no one was at church today.'