Naw, I don't believe you. I googled that address you posted and the
first line in the blurb says

"Seru Boca Marina offers floating slips for 128 vessels up to 150
feet"

Don't say nothing about no grottie old cruising boat, sounds like if
you're not at least 100 ft. they probably don't want you. How did you
get in? Sneak in and tie up at the dinghy dock?

Regarding your colonial English I'll have you know that I received an
initial supplemental education in Proper English by a British educated
Singapore Lady Office Manager who used to correct my Americanisms by
telegram, and later by a former Officer of the Gurkas, graduate of
Sandhurst, graduate of the School of Asian and African Studies, London
University, where he majored in Malay/Indonesian - have you ever heard
anyone speak absolutely impeccable Indonesian with a fully blown
Sandhurst accent? And most recently by a hereditary Lord of the Realm
who corrects my pronunciation at every opportunity. I also have a mate
raised on a sheep station in Western Australia just so I don't get too
toffey nosed.

By the way, what is this Sidney business. I thought you were a Kiwi.

Cartagena de Indias? I thought you British chappies were persona non
grata since Sir Francis Drake burned the place? But I suppose with the
new economy that can't afford to overlook any market.

Bruce-in-Bangkok
(correct email address for reply)

Hi Bruce,
I see that in mixing with colonials and other civilised peoples you
have definitely developed a non American sense of humour and recognise
that what may appear as offensive to others is actually a mark of
friendliness (don't understand it quite myself).

I am so pleased that so many people took the trouble to correct your
"Americanisms" and taught you to speak in a civilised manner. There is
an excellent new DVD and book called "The Adventure of English" which
describes the history and spread of the English language and its
variations. When I get back I shall make you a copy and snailmail it
to you if you send me your postal address by email.

Actually, I love the Americanisms such as "I'll fix dinner" - what's
wrong with it? and the various references to the latrine - Little
girl's room", "powder my nose" and so on. Nothing as basic as our
"Where are the toilets?" or "I have to go".

Actually in this marina there is only one large motor boat. The rest
of us are the standard 40 odd feet sailboats from all over. Many
people leave their boats here in complete security and fly back home
for a while such as I am doing. Whereas in the more windward islands
from Trinidad up to the Virgins (where you send your wife for
recycling), US registered sailboats make up for at least 80 to 90%.
Here which is a little harder to get back from, we are a mixed bunch;
predominantly Dutch, but also French, American, English, German and
Australian. They are generally cruising types and consequently the
behaviour is different to the ones you seem to find further east on
the "water winnebagos".

An example is that nobody asks in initial conversation what you do or
did for a living, whether you have children, or any other of the
personal fact finding questions that are usually asked in an attempt
to put a status ranking upon you. Last night at the bar for example
where I took my dinner (no, I drank only orange juice), conversation
was about cheese eating etiquette whereby one shows that one is a
barbarian or not by the way one cuts the cheese and which varies
according to its shape and type. I had never heard of this and had
that moment of truth whereby I realised my barbarian status til now.
Other topics were bits of history such as that Germans still pay a 7%
tax to the church if they are Christian, which tax is collected by the
government on the churches' behalf - law was put in place byHitler in
1935 as part of the pacxt with the Vatican.

There was not a single word about crass things such as assets,
investments, "when I was General Manager", how much people spent on
new gear and so on. Europeans seem to be so much more mature in that
way.

There is an interesting lady here, Patricia, who grew up on a farm in
Texas and spent most of her life as an academic at Washington State, A
widow, she has only recently bought a sailboat and sailed it down from
San Diego to here with crew. As she was a professor of behavourial
science with an emphasis on business she can answer my questions as to
why Americans do this or that. Great lady, strong personality.

Sorry, I got carried away. Being of Greek origin we tend to be
verbose.

Yes I am a Kiwi, but I also have Australian and Malaysian citizenship.
Sydney is where the "owner" and son reside whilst he is at highschool.

Asalaam,
Peter