"Rosalie B." wrote in message
...
"JG" wrote:

"Frank" wrote in message
groups.com...
Why do you feel that your 14-year-old is unqualified? Maybe we have
different definitions of "qualified to stand watch" but I'd rely on my
12-year-old daughter under these circumstances. Maybe this is the
universe giving him an opportunity to show you he's more responsible
than you think? I know I tend to underestimate my kids 'cause I think
of them as having been newborns about 5 minutes ago. They're often
capable of so much more than I give them credit for.

There are two parts to whether someone is qualified to stand watch

a) Are they physically capable of sailing the boat - i.e. do they know
how to sail?

b) Do they have the judgment and experience to do so?

It is easy enough to give a 14 year old the knowledge to sail the
boat. I can sail our boat by myself so I can take a watch for Bob.
There are some things I can't do very well - I'm not strong enough to
manage the main. But I can tack and trim the sails and steer a course

A person taking a watch should know what the course is, and whether
boats that are seen are on a collision course and what to do if they
are.

If you are sailing with just the 2 of you, the second issue can be
addressed by telling him to wake you if he has a question about the
course or the weather or another ship. In my case, if the wind picks
up and I need to furl the main, I have to wake Bob up. That's one of
the reasons we do not go offshore for long passages. In your case,
you might sleep in the cockpit next to your son.


Actually, this is true even for experience, completely capable crew. If you
need help or are unsure of something, wake up the skipper. I've yet to
protest being awakened or had anyone protest if I woke them.

Like most 14 yr olds, his judgement is poor as he tends to be a
daredevil. His sailing skill are not as good as I would like. He
tends to fall asleep a little too easily too.
I am up against a time crunch as in the next few weeks it simply gets
too hot with no wind for this to be a good trip. My wife would also
freak about him sailing while I was asleep.

wrote:

Like most 14 yr olds, his judgement is poor as he tends to be a
daredevil. His sailing skill are not as good as I would like. He
tends to fall asleep a little too easily too.

My sailing skills leave something to be desired too, but they've
gotten better over time.

As for falling asleep - have him take whatever shift he would normally
be awake for, and make it just a 2 hour shift for him.

I am up against a time crunch as in the next few weeks it simply gets
too hot with no wind for this to be a good trip. My wife would also
freak about him sailing while I was asleep.

What does she think you are going to be doing then?

Tell her to come along and stand his watches with him or else don't be
specific about what you will be doing. Sleeping beside your son in
the cockpit isn't the same as being below.
..

grandma Rosalie

Having lost objects overboard in waves, I know how easy it is to really
lose track of them, really scary. SO, we wear harnesses and tie them
to eyes in the cockpit. Still, if I fell overboard even wearing the
harness, he would have a very difficult time of it.

I love my wife but have learned I cannot sail with her. It is worse
than being single handed. Imagine being single handed while constantly
tending apparent disasters and being subjected to constant jabbering.
When I sail with her, I feel so stressed out I cannot handle it.

wrote:
Having lost objects overboard in waves, I know how easy it is to really
lose track of them, really scary. SO, we wear harnesses and tie them
to eyes in the cockpit. Still, if I fell overboard even wearing the
harness, he would have a very difficult time of it.

I love my wife but have learned I cannot sail with her. It is worse
than being single handed. Imagine being single handed while constantly
tending apparent disasters and being subjected to constant jabbering.
When I sail with her, I feel so stressed out I cannot handle it.

MY GOD! We are married to the same woman!

We all are. g

--
"j" ganz @@
www.sailnow.com

"JR Gilbreath" wrote in message
.. .
wrote:
Having lost objects overboard in waves, I know how easy it is to really
lose track of them, really scary. SO, we wear harnesses and tie them
to eyes in the cockpit. Still, if I fell overboard even wearing the
harness, he would have a very difficult time of it.

I love my wife but have learned I cannot sail with her. It is worse
than being single handed. Imagine being single handed while constantly
tending apparent disasters and being subjected to constant jabbering.
When I sail with her, I feel so stressed out I cannot handle it.

MY GOD! We are married to the same woman!

JR, that'd 'splain a lot.

No we aren't ;-) When the going gets rough, she pitches in without
complaint (as long as I don't tell her to do two things at the same
time).

Afterwards, on the other hand...

In article ,
"JG" wrote:

We all are. g

--
"j" ganz @@
www.sailnow.com

"JR Gilbreath" wrote in message
.. .
wrote:
Having lost objects overboard in waves, I know how easy it is to really
lose track of them, really scary. SO, we wear harnesses and tie them
to eyes in the cockpit. Still, if I fell overboard even wearing the
harness, he would have a very difficult time of it.

I love my wife but have learned I cannot sail with her. It is worse
than being single handed. Imagine being single handed while constantly
tending apparent disasters and being subjected to constant jabbering.
When I sail with her, I feel so stressed out I cannot handle it.

MY GOD! We are married to the same woman!

--
Jere Lull
Xan-a-Deux ('73 Tanzer 28 #4 out of Tolchester, MD)
Xan's Pages: http://members.dca.net/jerelull/X-Main.html
Our BVI FAQs (290+ pics) http://homepage.mac.com/jerelull/BVI/

We all are. g

HEY!!

I'm not. I'm married to one of those taciturn type men who wants me
to be in the cockpit but not talk.
-----

JR Gilbreath wrote:

wrote:
Having lost objects overboard in waves, I know how easy it is to really
lose track of them, really scary. SO, we wear harnesses and tie them
to eyes in the cockpit. Still, if I fell overboard even wearing the
harness, he would have a very difficult time of it.

So practice this. It is one of the skills one should know anyway.

I love my wife but have learned I cannot sail with her. It is worse
than being single handed. Imagine being single handed while constantly
tending apparent disasters and being subjected to constant jabbering.
When I sail with her, I feel so stressed out I cannot handle it.

MY GOD! We are married to the same woman!

I suspect that part of this is lack of knowledge and a feeling of
being out of control. IMHO it would help your wives to take a sailing
course without you. That's what I did on the recommendation of my
sister. Not one of those women's courses, although I guess those can
be good too.

Not that I don't think my husband would be a bad instructor, but it
was reassuring that he was telling me the same thing as an unrelated
other person was telling me.

Just be sure that whatever course it is makes each student perform all
the maneuvers, and not get out of it by playing helpless or scared or
whatever.


grandma Rosalie

On Sat, 14 May 2005 14:00:08 GMT, Rosalie B. wrote:

We all are. g

HEY!!

I'm not. I'm married to one of those taciturn type men who wants me
to be in the cockpit but not talk.
-----

JR Gilbreath wrote:

wrote:
Having lost objects overboard in waves, I know how easy it is to really
lose track of them, really scary. SO, we wear harnesses and tie them
to eyes in the cockpit. Still, if I fell overboard even wearing the
harness, he would have a very difficult time of it.

So practice this. It is one of the skills one should know anyway.

I love my wife but have learned I cannot sail with her. It is worse
than being single handed. Imagine being single handed while constantly
tending apparent disasters and being subjected to constant jabbering.
When I sail with her, I feel so stressed out I cannot handle it.

MY GOD! We are married to the same woman!

I suspect that part of this is lack of knowledge and a feeling of
being out of control. IMHO it would help your wives to take a sailing
course without you. That's what I did on the recommendation of my
sister. Not one of those women's courses, although I guess those can
be good too.

Not that I don't think my husband would be a bad instructor, but it
was reassuring that he was telling me the same thing as an unrelated
other person was telling me.

Just be sure that whatever course it is makes each student perform all
the maneuvers, and not get out of it by playing helpless or scared or
whatever.


grandma Rosalie

I agree Rosalie...how the data is presented, and who presents it can make
all the difference in the world. I was with a sailing class whose crew consisted,
in part, of a younger woman and her older husband. The woman had never
been even close to the water before, and the first time the boat heeled, she nearly
came unglued. Her husband would roll his eyes and make snide/irritable remarks
every time she make a mistake however small, even though he knew squat about boats too..

The second morning the instructor left me on the helm, plus a 14 year old young man to handle the sheets,
and the woman on deck, while he took the other two students (including the husband)
below to play with the radar and GPS. I put the woman on the wheel, stood close behind her, and
talked softly almost in her ear. I explained what we were going to do, what the boat would
feel like, etc, and led her through several tacks with a very quiet running commentary.
If it went pear shaped, I'd explain what happened and why it did, with no hint of
disapproval...then we'd try it again.

After awhile she relaxed and got a feel for the boat. By the end of the week, she was doing MOB
and other maneuvers, including docking, with a good degree of competence considering her
experience level. All it took was quiet encouragement to get her started.

The husband? He never did catch on to sailing (LOL...and I didn't expect a Christmas card from him)
....she was by far the better sailor than he at the end of the week. The instructor later confessed he
knew early on that unless he separated the man and his wife, she would have an absolutly
miserable week, and learn zip.

My two cents worth.
Norm B