"Padeen" wrote:

I'm going to assume your posting here is a de facto request for input, so:

First, I think it's critical that you direct your anger where it will do the
least harm, and at the root cause of your delay: the "justice" system. Your
son, as deserving as he might be of a scolding/punishment for getting
caught, shouldn't be subjected to your anger at the failure of your dreams.
Besides being magnified by issues he has no control over, your anger may
destroy what you have left of a relationship, as well as his interest in
playing the game by acceptable rules.

Second, weigh the consequences of going anyway, taking him with you. Most
court systems have such a high probation failure rate that the penalties,
when you return

snip

That's kind of what I was going to say - having had some experience
(with children not due to wrong-doing of my own) with both the
juvenile system and the adult system, which I'm not going to detail
but some of it did involve drugs. In the adult system, the item was
put on the stet docket, drug testing was mandated, and was not done,
and nothing happened to anyone.

aren't interested in listening to any "I'm going to do this or that"
stories, but will be forced to aknowledge a "We've accomplished this"
scenario after the fact.

Always easier to ask forgiveness than to get permission.

The only problem with this is that it gives him implied permission to
flaunt the law.

I'm sorry to hear about your daughter's trials.

Padeen (who has no law training, so therefore can't be held liable if your
life goes to **** for following my advise!)

Ditto.