ANOTHER change of plans
 

I was all set to sail to the Keys starting Thursday from Sarasota but
then went to a meeting with my 14 yr old sons juvenile probation
officer (he was caught with 6 gms of pot in November). I was ready to
kill him back then but decided that he could go on this cruise with me
to keep him out of trouble. NOW, they have mandated that he cannot
travel anywhere for 6 months without specific permission for each trip
and that he MUST be here every Tuesday and thursday for a urine
analysis, no exceptions even though he has had no positives since
November. Needless to say, this screws up any plans I have for 6
months. I am so angre that if he manages to get through the next few
days without me killing him it will be a miracle. I am so livid with
anger that I am barely able to drive.
The first delay was my 17 yr old daughter getting Melonoma. It was not
her fault and fortunately she seems to be cured after excision of lymph
nodes. Now this. I know damn well that in six months some other thing
will happen. What can my 8 year old do I wonder?
Please forgive my ranting but I am fairly angry

wrote in message oups.com...
I was all set to sail to the Keys starting Thursday from Sarasota but
then went to a meeting with my 14 yr old sons juvenile probation
officer (he was caught with 6 gms of pot in November). I was ready to
kill him back then but decided that he could go on this cruise with me
to keep him out of trouble. NOW, they have mandated that he cannot
travel anywhere for 6 months without specific permission for each trip
and that he MUST be here every Tuesday and thursday for a urine
analysis, no exceptions even though he has had no positives since
November. Needless to say, this screws up any plans I have for 6
months. I am so angre that if he manages to get through the next few
days without me killing him it will be a miracle. I am so livid with
anger that I am barely able to drive.
The first delay was my 17 yr old daughter getting Melonoma. It was not
her fault and fortunately she seems to be cured after excision of lymph
nodes. Now this. I know damn well that in six months some other thing
will happen. What can my 8 year old do I wonder?
Please forgive my ranting but I am fairly angry


One of the more interesting posts here and the most believable.

CN

Only a society as right wing and fascist is this one could possibly
believe that your son will benefit more from appearing twice a week in
the totally dysfunctional and overwhelmed juvenile justice system and
hanging out the rest of the time bored with his buds than being under
your 24 hour supervision in a constructive and character building
endeavor.

(Whew, I did it all with just one period. Take a breath.)

Did someone say, "Family values"?

--

Roger Long




wrote in message
oups.com...
I was all set to sail to the Keys starting Thursday from Sarasota but
then went to a meeting with my 14 yr old sons juvenile probation
officer (he was caught with 6 gms of pot in November). I was ready
to
kill him back then but decided that he could go on this cruise with
me
to keep him out of trouble. NOW, they have mandated that he cannot
travel anywhere for 6 months without specific permission for each
trip
and that he MUST be here every Tuesday and thursday for a urine
analysis, no exceptions even though he has had no positives since
November. Needless to say, this screws up any plans I have for 6
months. I am so angre that if he manages to get through the next
few
days without me killing him it will be a miracle. I am so livid
with
anger that I am barely able to drive.
The first delay was my 17 yr old daughter getting Melonoma. It was
not
her fault and fortunately she seems to be cured after excision of
lymph
nodes. Now this. I know damn well that in six months some other
thing
will happen. What can my 8 year old do I wonder?
Please forgive my ranting but I am fairly angry

I'm going to assume your posting here is a de facto request for input, so:

First, I think it's critical that you direct your anger where it will do the
least harm, and at the root cause of your delay: the "justice" system. Your
son, as deserving as he might be of a scolding/punishment for getting
caught, shouldn't be subjected to your anger at the failure of your dreams.
Besides being magnified by issues he has no control over, your anger may
destroy what you have left of a relationship, as well as his interest in
playing the game by acceptable rules.

Second, weigh the consequences of going anyway, taking him with you. Most
court systems have such a high probation failure rate that the penalties,
when you return contrite, will be acceptalbe, and directed at you for
breaking the probation, not him. A well thought out defense on the grounds
that he was in greater danger among his local associates and environment,
and that strengthening your bond with him would be a far more effective
rehibilitation program than confining him to his present world, will likely
minimize, or even cancel, any court requirement for revenge. They likely
aren't interested in listening to any "I'm going to do this or that"
stories, but will be forced to aknowledge a "We've accomplished this"
scenario after the fact.

I'm sorry to hear about your daughter's trials.

Padeen (who has no law training, so therefore can't be held liable if your
life goes to **** for following my advise!)

Padeen wrote:

I'm going to assume your posting here is a de facto request for input, so:

First, I think it's critical that you direct your anger where it will do the
least harm, and at the root cause of your delay: the "justice" system. Your
son, as deserving as he might be of a scolding/punishment for getting
caught, shouldn't be subjected to your anger at the failure of your dreams.
Besides being magnified by issues he has no control over, your anger may
destroy what you have left of a relationship, as well as his interest in
playing the game by acceptable rules.

Second, weigh the consequences of going anyway, taking him with you. Most
court systems have such a high probation failure rate that the penalties,
when you return contrite, will be acceptalbe, and directed at you for
breaking the probation, not him. A well thought out defense on the grounds
that he was in greater danger among his local associates and environment,
and that strengthening your bond with him would be a far more effective
rehibilitation program than confining him to his present world, will likely
minimize, or even cancel, any court requirement for revenge. They likely
aren't interested in listening to any "I'm going to do this or that"
stories, but will be forced to aknowledge a "We've accomplished this"
scenario after the fact.

Or, he could apply to the officials in his area.

With a program as he is prescribing, away from any source of drugs for
that long, they might just waive the testing, or let him do the testing
himself on the boat and mail back the results, or something like that.

Try the legal option first, then take off if they deny it.

Stephen

Thanks everyone. Have somehow managed to cool off without harming
anybody but am still not sure of what to do.
As I myself have always had a "problem" with authority, the court
mandated family therapy may be interesting. Obviously, I think being
on the boat with me is better therapy.
Furthermore, I think the worst thing he did was to have the stuff at
school and get caught. Although I do not approve of Marijuana use, it
is considerably less dangerous than many legal things, even harmless.
If he was having sex with kids his age it would be legal and far more
harmful. If he was smoking tobacco it would be nearly ok and way more
harmful. I caught him playing with matches and aerosol cans once,
seriously harmful and legal.
At one counseling session, he was in with the counselor and my wife and
I in the next room so I started reading the counselors textbooks. They
were only 5 yrs old so not outdated yet. The counselors started raving
about how much more potent marijuana is now so I pulled out their own
textbooks and showed them WHAT THEY HAD BEEN TAUGHT IN SCHOOL but what
they are not allowed to say. Evidence shows that marijuana today is no
more potent than very high quality marijuana of 30 yrs ago. These drug
counselors get into the system and start spouting the gospel according
to those whose best interest it is in to keep harmless things illegal.
Gateway drugs my ass, they are now in the business of turning tobacco
into a "gateway drug". For my sons best interest, I may have to bite
my tongue till it bleeds.
As far as cruising goes, I was sorta running out of cool weather
anyway. In spite of being a 5th generation FL native, I refuse to sail
in summer. Maybe it is best to wait till Fall but you know another
disaster will strike.

Larry W4CSC wrote:
wrote in
oups.com:

What can my 8 year old do I wonder?
Please forgive my ranting but I am fairly angry


My neighbor's 8-yr-old daughter just got expelled for throwing a
chair at
another student, missing and putting the chair out the broken
window.....

She said the boy "****ed me off.", to quote her....(c;

Best of luck....

"Padeen" wrote:

I'm going to assume your posting here is a de facto request for input, so:

First, I think it's critical that you direct your anger where it will do the
least harm, and at the root cause of your delay: the "justice" system. Your
son, as deserving as he might be of a scolding/punishment for getting
caught, shouldn't be subjected to your anger at the failure of your dreams.
Besides being magnified by issues he has no control over, your anger may
destroy what you have left of a relationship, as well as his interest in
playing the game by acceptable rules.

Second, weigh the consequences of going anyway, taking him with you. Most
court systems have such a high probation failure rate that the penalties,
when you return

snip

That's kind of what I was going to say - having had some experience
(with children not due to wrong-doing of my own) with both the
juvenile system and the adult system, which I'm not going to detail
but some of it did involve drugs. In the adult system, the item was
put on the stet docket, drug testing was mandated, and was not done,
and nothing happened to anyone.

aren't interested in listening to any "I'm going to do this or that"
stories, but will be forced to aknowledge a "We've accomplished this"
scenario after the fact.

Always easier to ask forgiveness than to get permission.

The only problem with this is that it gives him implied permission to
flaunt the law.

I'm sorry to hear about your daughter's trials.

Padeen (who has no law training, so therefore can't be held liable if your
life goes to **** for following my advise!)

Ditto.

On 5 Apr 2005 16:57:11 -0700, wrote:

Gateway drugs my ass, they are now in the business of turning tobacco
into a "gateway drug". For my sons best interest, I may have to bite
my tongue till it bleeds.

=============================

Would you approve of your kids drinking in school? If not, where is
the difference? Children are amazingly adept at picking up on their
parents mind set and attitudes. A lot of problems begin at home. If
you don't recognize that, you are cruising in "De Nile", not SWFL.

In article , says...


wrote in
roups.com:

What can my 8 year old do I wonder?
Please forgive my ranting but I am fairly angry


My neighbor's 8-yr-old daughter just got expelled for throwing a chair at
another student, missing and putting the chair out the broken window.....

She said the boy "****ed me off.", to quote her....(c;

This country is going to hell. It has taken total leave of common sense.

Wrong Newsgroup. Sorry.