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Thom Stewart wrote:
Doug, Mine came out to 98. I sure as hell don't believe that! I'm sure it is an insurance selling gimic. Thom don't be so sure they are wrong! I used to sail with a guy who was racing Moths & Atlantic sloops at 95. My favorite joke about living long: A retirement home hires a new nurse, and as she is looking over some paperwork she is startled to see that one of the residents is 140 years old. 'That can't be right,' she says. She goes over to the gentleman in question, who is clearly no spring chicken but very far from decrepit, and says "Mr Jones it says here that you are 140 years old!" "That's right, young lady" he says with a smile. "Life gets better every year, too." "But that's impossible!" The old man just shrugs amiably. Later on he shows her a newspaper clipping of his hundredth birthday party in 1966, along with his gold watch for 40 years of faithful service dated 1928. Clearly he is very much older than he appears and his paperwork is all in order. She phones the newspaper. "Did you all run a story on Mr Jones turning 100 in 1966?" She asks. After flipping thru some dusty old files, the newspaper says yes they did. "Did you know that Mr Jones is still living here, and he is now 140?" They didn't, and they'll send a reporter right over. The reporter interviews Mr Jones, who answers all his questions calmly & with a smile. At first it is like an American History quiz, with the reporter saying things like "Do you remember the Spanish-American War." Then the reporter become increasingly doubtful. "How have you avoided media attention all these years? It's a big deal to be the world's oldest person." "I don't care about all that," says Mr. Jones. "I would rather talk with my friends, watch my great great grandchildren play, go for a walk." "Well what accounts for your longevity? Why have you lived so much longer than any man or woman?" says the reporter, a little angry. "I don't know for sure, but I can tell you that I never saw the point in letting little things upset me," says Mr. Jones. "It's not a little thing," snaps the reporter. "It's big news that we have the world's oldest living person right here in town. It's not a little thing that scientists have been trying to find ways to extend lifespans. There must be something special about you and the way you've lived." "Well," says Mr. Jones, "One thing I can tell you is this. Not only should you not be upset by little things, but you won't get far trying to start fights & argue with people. I never argue." "That's ridiculous," shouts the reporter. "You can't live to be 140 simply by not arguing with people." "Well sonny," says Mr. Jones with a smile, "Maybe you're right." |
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