O/T Life Expectancy Calculator
 

Doug,

Mine came out to 98. I sure as hell don't believe that! I'm sure it is
an insurance selling gimic.

Ole Thom

O/T Life Expectancy Calculator
 

Thom Stewart wrote:
Doug,

Mine came out to 98. I sure as hell don't believe that! I'm sure it is
an insurance selling gimic.


Thom don't be so sure they are wrong! I used to sail with a
guy who was racing Moths & Atlantic sloops at 95.

My favorite joke about living long:

A retirement home hires a new nurse, and as she is looking
over some paperwork she is startled to see that one of the
residents is 140 years old. 'That can't be right,' she says.

She goes over to the gentleman in question, who is clearly
no spring chicken but very far from decrepit, and says "Mr
Jones it says here that you are 140 years old!"

"That's right, young lady" he says with a smile. "Life gets
better every year, too."

"But that's impossible!"
The old man just shrugs amiably. Later on he shows her a
newspaper clipping of his hundredth birthday party in 1966,
along with his gold watch for 40 years of faithful service
dated 1928. Clearly he is very much older than he appears
and his paperwork is all in order.

She phones the newspaper.

"Did you all run a story on Mr Jones turning 100 in 1966?"
She asks. After flipping thru some dusty old files, the
newspaper says yes they did. "Did you know that Mr Jones is
still living here, and he is now 140?" They didn't, and
they'll send a reporter right over.

The reporter interviews Mr Jones, who answers all his
questions calmly & with a smile. At first it is like an
American History quiz, with the reporter saying things like
"Do you remember the Spanish-American War."

Then the reporter become increasingly doubtful. "How have
you avoided media attention all these years? It's a big deal
to be the world's oldest person."

"I don't care about all that," says Mr. Jones. "I would
rather talk with my friends, watch my great great
grandchildren play, go for a walk."

"Well what accounts for your longevity? Why have you lived
so much longer than any man or woman?" says the reporter, a
little angry.

"I don't know for sure, but I can tell you that I never saw
the point in letting little things upset me," says Mr. Jones.

"It's not a little thing," snaps the reporter. "It's big
news that we have the world's oldest living person right
here in town. It's not a little thing that scientists have
been trying to find ways to extend lifespans. There must be
something special about you and the way you've lived."

"Well," says Mr. Jones, "One thing I can tell you is this.
Not only should you not be upset by little things, but you
won't get far trying to start fights & argue with people. I
never argue."

"That's ridiculous," shouts the reporter. "You can't live to
be 140 simply by not arguing with people."

"Well sonny," says Mr. Jones with a smile, "Maybe you're right."

O/T Life Expectancy Calculator
 

Life insurance is you betting that you will die sooner than expected.


"Dave" wrote in message
...
On Tue, 21 Mar 2006 06:59:53 -0800, (Thom Stewart) said:

Mine came out to 98. I sure as hell don't believe that! I'm sure it is
an insurance selling gimic.

An annuity gimmick, maybe. Not an insurance selling gimmick. The guy
buying
insurance makes out well financially if he dies early. If he lives lone,
he's paying for all the guys who didn't.

O/T Life Expectancy Calculator
 

Dave wrote:

On Tue, 21 Mar 2006 06:59:53 -0800, (Thom Stewart) said:

Mine came out to 98. I sure as hell don't believe that! I'm sure it is
an insurance selling gimic.

An annuity gimmick, maybe. Not an insurance selling gimmick. The guy buying
insurance makes out well financially if he dies early. If he lives lone,
he's paying for all the guys who didn't.

This has got to be some kind of lawyer thing; how does one make out well
financially while dead?

Cheers
Marty
------------ And now a word from our sponsor ----------------------
For a quality mail server, try SurgeMail, easy to install,
fast, efficient and reliable. Run a million users on a standard
PC running NT or Unix without running out of power, use the best!
---- See http://netwinsite.com/sponsor/sponsor_surgemail.htm ----

O/T Life Expectancy Calculator
 

"DSK" wrote in message
...
Thom Stewart wrote:
Doug,

Mine came out to 98. I sure as hell don't believe that! I'm sure it is
an insurance selling gimic.


Thom don't be so sure they are wrong! I used to sail with a guy who was
racing Moths & Atlantic sloops at 95.

My favorite joke about living long:

snip

An attorney dies and meets St. Peter at the Pearly Gates.

SP: "Mr. Smith, what an honor, sir. Please, come in, come in. God is
waiting and anxious to meet with you. And we're planning a rather largish
dinner party and celebration in your honor this evening."

Lawyer: "Um, I really don't understand, sir. I was just an attorney,
albeit a rather good and expensive one, but just a lawyer. Why would God
wish to meet with me?

SP: "I'm amazed you'd even ask. If you must know, it's because you were
clearly the oldest living human in history."

Lawyer: "There must be some sort of mistake. I was just shy of my 73rd
birthday when I had my heart attack."

SP: "Hmmm." (sorting through paperwork) "Indeed there must be some sort
of error here, because according to your billable hours, you'd have to be at
least 130."

Max

O/T Life Expectancy Calculator
 

"Thom Stewart" wrote in message
...
Doug,

Mine came out to 98. I sure as hell don't believe that! I'm sure it is
an insurance selling gimic.

Ole Thom

Not too shabby Thom, mine is 87.
It must've been the drinking, the marijuana, the quick to anger, the joy of
knife fighting, and the motorcycle over 150 mph responses I made.
Must be the Bristol Township upbringing.
Scout

O/T Life Expectancy Calculator
 

Dave wrote:

On Tue, 21 Mar 2006 13:14:22 -0500, Martin Baxter said:

This has got to be some kind of lawyer thing; how does one make out well
financially while dead?

Actually, Marty, I considered that question before posting. I decided that a
long discussion of heirs, estates, etc. would be a terrible case of
over-lawyering.

Guess you couldn't resist the temptation.

Do you have to turn in your sense of humour when you pass the Bar?

Cheers
Marty

O/T Life Expectancy Calculator
 

Dave wrote:

On Wed, 22 Mar 2006 11:08:25 -050

Do you have to turn in your sense of humour when you pass the Bar?

No. But unfortunately your comment doesn't pique it.

Not terribly surprising.

Cheers
Marty