Nursing at Sea
 

All in response to Crantz comment:

Do you have liability insurance for that defib? Remember, Suzy is a nurse,
she's no longer a good samaritan.

And our med kit cost more than Scotty's sad boat!


RB
35s5
NY

Nursing at Sea
 

Bob Crantz wrote:
Tell 'em what you do to monkeys.

Amen!

"katy" wrote in message
...

DSK wrote:

2 kinds of antibiotic cream
an assortment and variety of gauze and telfa bandages
band-aids
hydrogen peroxide
aloe vera gel
ACE bandages
a few straws (never know when you're going to have to do that
emergency trach)
aspirin, tylenol, ibuprogen, and some prescription painkillers
an EPI pen
an assortment of needles and fishing line ( works great on stitching
up horses, too)
matches


Jonathan Ganz wrote:


I hope you have the proper medical training to do a tracheotomy, since
if
you don't and you attempt it, there is a very good probability you'll
be sued back to the stone age.


katysails wrote:


On my husband?????Don't think so....


Are you saying Mr. Sails ain't the suin' kind?
Hmm, that would make a good country song...

Anyway, as somebody else posted, doing a tracheotomy isn't that hard.
Shucks, they gave instructions how to do it on M*A*S*H (one of the only
TV shows I've ever watched) and it worked perfectly.

DSK


Heck, I've assisted at so many vet surgeries that not much fazes me...had
to sit on the neck of a filly that jumped a piece of farm equipment in a
fit of pique and opened her gut up so wide her intestines fell out....that
was a trat..she lived and ended up being a quite satisfactory pet for her
owner's kids....jabbing a little old pen knife into someone's neck when
they're turning purple wouldn't be hard to do at all...



That's much to graphic for Usenet, doncha think?

Nursing at Sea
 

Jonathan Ganz wrote:
In article ,
DSK wrote:

Anyway, as somebody else posted, doing a tracheotomy isn't
that hard. Shucks, they gave instructions how to do it on
M*A*S*H (one of the only TV shows I've ever watched) and it
worked perfectly.

Jonathan Ganz wrote:

Talk about lawsuits waiting to happen! I can just imagine your
attorney cringing when you try to explain to the jury that you saw it
on MASH. :-)


I could prove I did it perfectly, by doing another one on
the opposing lawyer, right there in the court room.

DSK


Step 1: Duct tape his mouth shut. :-)



Heck, go one further and duct tape his nose shut, too and forget
about the trach....

Nursing at Sea... lawyer jokes
 

I could prove I did it perfectly, by doing another one on the
opposing lawyer, right there in the court room.



Step 1: Duct tape his mouth shut. :-)



katy wrote:
Heck, go one further and duct tape his nose shut, too and forget about
the trach....

What do you call 100 lawyers skydiving?
Skeet

What do you call 100 lawyers buried in sand up to their necks?
Not enough sand

What do you call 100 lawyers at the bottom of the ocean with
bricks tied around their necks?
A good start

(disclaimer- Any resemblance to real lawyers, living or
dead, is purely coincidental. This offer void where prohibted.)

DSK

Nursing at Sea... lawyer jokes
 

A little old lady went into the Bank of Canada one day, carrying a bag
of money. She insisted that she must speak with the president of the
bank to open a savings account because, "It's a lot of money!" After
much hemming and hawing, the bank staff finally ushered her into the
president's office (the customer is always right!). The bank president
then asked her how much she would like to deposit. She replied,
$165,000!" and dumped the cash out of her bag onto his desk. The
president was of course
curious as to how she came by all this cash, so he asked her,
"Ma'am,I'm
surprised you're carrying somuch cash around. Where did you get this
money? The old lady replied, "I make bets". The president then asked,
"Bets?
What kind of bets?" The old woman said, "well, for example, I'll bet
you
$25,000 that your balls are square." "Ha!" laughed the president,
"That's a stupid bet. You can never win that kind of bet!" The old lady

challenged, "So,would you like to take my bet?" "Sure," said the
president, "I'll bet $25,000 that my balls are not square!" The little
old lady then said,"Okay, but since there is a lot of money involved,
may I bring my lawyer with me tomorrow at 10:00AM as a witness?"
"Sure!"
replied the confident president. That night, the president got very
nervous about the bet and spent a long time in front of a
mirrorchecking
his balls, turning from side to side, again and again. He thoroughly
checked them out until he was sure that there was absolutelyno way his
balls were square and that he would win the bet. Next morning, at
precisely 10:00am, the little old lady appeared with her lawyer at the
president's office. She introduced the lawyer to the president and
repeated the bet: "$25,000 says the president's balls are square!" The
president agreed with the bet again and theold lady asked him to drop
his pants so they could all see. The president complied. The little old

lady peered closely at his balls and then asked if she could feel them.

"Well, Okay," said the president, "$25,000 is a lot of money, so I
guess
you should be absolutely sure." Just then, he noticed that the lawyer
was quietly banging his head against the wall. The president asked the
old lady, "What the hell's the matter with your lawyer?" She replied,
"Nothing, except I bet him 100,000 that at 10:00 AM today,I'd have The
Bank of Canada's president's balls in my hand."

Nursing at Sea
 

In article ,
katy wrote:
Heck, go one further and duct tape his nose shut, too and forget
about the trach....

Unfortunately, this would not go over quite as well in the courtroom.
But, it's a great idea.



--
Capt. JG @@
www.sailnow.com

Nursing at Sea
 

Jonathan Ganz wrote:
In article ,
katy wrote:

Heck, go one further and duct tape his nose shut, too and forget
about the trach....


Unfortunately, this would not go over quite as well in the courtroom.
But, it's a great idea.



Having sat on a jury, I would have applauded...

Nursing at Sea
 

In article ,
katy wrote:
Jonathan Ganz wrote:
In article ,
katy wrote:

Heck, go one further and duct tape his nose shut, too and forget
about the trach....


Unfortunately, this would not go over quite as well in the courtroom.
But, it's a great idea.



Having sat on a jury, I would have applauded...

Did you find them guilty or innocent?


--
Capt. JG @@
www.sailnow.com

Nursing at Sea
 

Jonathan Ganz wrote:
In article ,
katy wrote:

Jonathan Ganz wrote:

In article ,
katy wrote:


Heck, go one further and duct tape his nose shut, too and forget
about the trach....


Unfortunately, this would not go over quite as well in the courtroom.
But, it's a great idea.




Having sat on a jury, I would have applauded...


Did you find them guilty or innocent?


guilty...ut was a throw the frugs out the car window and flee thing....

Nursing at Sea
 

On Thu, 26 Jan 2006 23:21:33 -0500, katy
wrote:

Jonathan Ganz wrote:
In article ,
katy wrote:

Jonathan Ganz wrote:

In article ,
katy wrote:


Heck, go one further and duct tape his nose shut, too and forget
about the trach....


Unfortunately, this would not go over quite as well in the courtroom.
But, it's a great idea.




Having sat on a jury, I would have applauded...


Did you find them guilty or innocent?


guilty...ut was a throw the frugs out the car window and flee thing....


I sat on a murder case. Sequestered and all. Never, ever again. If
I ever get called I'd rather have the judge throw me in jail for
contempt than go through that again.

Frank