"Capt. Rob" wrote in message
ups.com...

Meanwhile....Thomas is now 6 months old! He's probably the happiest
baby on the planet!

Is My Little Baby Going to Go Gay?

Handy Homo Prevention Tips For Concerned Parents With Suspect Toddlers

A parent can never act too soon in taking precautionary measures to ensure
that their child will never become intoxicated with mommy's perfume and
choose to devote his life to being a prancing homo. By being both proactive
and willing to inflict welts for Jesus, you can beat Satan at his own sick
game and prevent him from turning your impressionable child into an ugly,
rotting twig in the family tree crying out for brutal pruning.

Christian Doctors at Landover Baptist Hospital's Homosexual Reparative
Extreme-Psycho-Stabilization Ward have put together a handy list of
preventative tips for concerned parents with newborns or toddlers. Please
print out these Godly reminders and pop them in your purse the moment your
water breaks for handy reference.



Early Child Development Homo Prevention Tips

1. A boy must not sit on a toilet unless he is having a bowel
movement. Standing straight up, not hunched over while urinating, is a sign
of manliness. Squatting on a toilet seat (especially if he hovers to avoid
the urine of others or prissily wipes the seat with a square of toilet
tissue) to pee is not only effeminate but a sign of shame! It is a secret
hobby that homosexuals use in their daily lives. It is a scientific fact
that when needing to use the restroom, a male is called upon to engage in
the unpleasant undertaking of extruding a poopy in only 1 out of every 3
visits. But homosexuals use all three visits to practice squatting, to
limber the cheeks of their bottom in preparation for even the most enormous
(Negro) penises. Such calisthenics are neither necessary nor advisable for
men who have no intention of squatting over an engorged penis. As soon as
your child is able to walk on two feet, you must make that sure he is taught
to stand proudly in front of a private or public toilet seat, and to speak
not a word, especially in response to the coy whispers of Catholic priests
in the next stall.

2. A boy must eat everything on his plate. But if your son pesters you
to serve corn on the cob, hot dogs or sausages, that is your signal to
change his diet. Try serving meals that more effectively evoke a hankering
for the fragrant delights of the female genitalia. An artichoke stuffed with
tuna fish will usually do the trick.

3. A boy must always wear socks, except while swimming. So-called,
"flip-flops" and "sandals," where the toes and ankles are exposed are
products that were created during the (homo)sexual revolution. Creation
research indicates that these types of provocative "shoes," were invented by
homosexuals in San Fransissyco during the late 1960's with fetishes for
little boy ankles. Thwart the perverted delight of these pedo-pedophiles
with a thick pair of tube socks!

4. A boy must not be allowed to watch cartoons of any kind. He should
spend Saturday mornings sitting quietly by his Father's side (with a
respectful 3" between the male bodies), watching sports that don't involved
male leotards. He must watch Football, Basketball, Baseball and Boxing.
Soccer is not a sport for civilized people and often results in alarmingly
long, uncut penises escaping from very alluring satin shorts. Soccer appeals
only to poor, uneducated halflings from underdeveloped countries where the
women grow mustaches twice as fast as the men. Make your child aware of
this. When there are no sports on TV, take your boy out in the backyard and
throw the football or play catch with a very hard baseball. Under no
circumstances: wrestle in shorts, especially if your son is strapping,
handsome and sporting a noticeably turgid crotch.

5. A boy must not play with dolls. If your boy has a young sister,
forbid him from entering her room except for the purposes of the type of
ordinary heterosexual experimentation that occurs in any Christian
household. If you catch your male child playing with dolls, Landover Baptist
Child Psychologists recommended that you shave his head, and sit him out at
the end of the driveway with a sign around his neck that says, "I'm a Sissy
Boy Who Plays With Dolls - Mailman: Why don't you just go ahead and stick
something in my mouth?." This method of prevention has a 99.5% success rate
(unless your particular mailman is young and attractive).

6. A boy must not refer to his parents as "Mommy" or "Daddy." As soon
as your boy is old enough to speak, he must be taught to call his Mother,
"Ma," or "Momma" or "Mommie Dearest." When addressing his Father, he should
refer to him as, "Sir," "Dad," or "Commander." "Mommy" and "Daddy" are what
fey, spoiled boys weaned on effeminacy coo, embarrassing you in front of the
neighbors by never keeping the palms of their hands below their waists.

7. A boy must always wear thick, white underwear. White boxers, and/or
briefs are acceptable. Your child must be taught that men who wear colored
underwear or undergarments that are cut within one inch of the outer
periphery of their pubic region or the trough of the valley between the
cheeks of their bottom are either European or Homosexual - and in America
there is no difference between the two.

8. A boy must never cry or pout. Crying, pouting or showing feelings
are weak and feminine traits. After the natural tears of infancy, brought on
by a child's traumatic exit from the spiritual realm of Heaven, to the
horrible shock every young man experiences in seeing his very own mother's
hairy, dilated vagina, and into this Devil run world we call, "Earth," your
boy must be taught to stop crying. It usually takes a normal child several
weeks to get over its birth - even when using daily submersions into
ice-water.If your child is still crying after three weeks, please drop him
off at the Creation Science Laboratory for the remainder of the year and for
a determination of whether he is worth having back.

9. A boy must not use brightly colored crayons or any crayons from any
colors of a rainbow. Christian parents should remove and destroy any
suspiciously colored crayons from their boy's box of Crayolas. This needs no
explanation, as we here at Landover Baptist are all familiar with Mr.
Crayola's so-called "alternate lifestyle," and his reason for putting "Pansy
Pink" and "Engorged Penis Head Purple" into his boxes are quite obvious. A
boy must also draw in straight lines. Some curves are fine, but if you
suspect your child of "doodling," and see that he is using more curves than
straight lines, please call your Pastor immediately.

10. A boy must not skip or prance. You must not allow your boy to
attend any school where they teach the children to "skip," or play
"hopscotch" in Physical Education class. Creation Scientists have proved
that such activities are the precursor to cross-dressing, appreciation for
poetry, a sardonic display of irony and the rampant shoplifting of skin care
products.

Amen!

Bob Crantz

Thanks to Landover Baptist! Praise!

"Bob Crantz" wrote

Handy Homo Prevention Tips For Concerned Parents With Suspect Toddlers

A parent can never act too soon .........

A sure sign that parents did not employ these tips is the appearence of
contrabushy in post pubescent males. Contrabushy is a serious mental defect
similar to Stockholm Syndrome found in hostages. It develops when a boy
grows up in a female dominated environment. Like many hostages, he looks up
to those who control of his environment (Mother, sisters, teachers), comes
to identify with them, and seeks to emulate them. The first danger sign is
shaving - scraping the signs of maleness off his face. In fact, a smooth
shaven face is a sure sign of contrabushy - a form of latent homosexuality
that is learned versus genetically or hormonally driven. It is often
followed by wearing female clothing then transvestism. The good news is that
this form of homosexuality can often be cured by immersion in male-dominated
environments such as prison where effeminate males are at the low end of the
culture and ar often abused.

Dam man you didn't learn from me at the Dock. Tuck it in next time. Yoe
you going to paint the Dory this year?

"Capt. Rob" wrote:

Thom, your pics look great and I just LOVE that Gulf!!! It's a really
charming boat. I wish the 32' version sailed better. I'm glad you're
enjoying the camera and making good use of it.
Not sure if you saw this pic before...

http://members.aol.com/bobsprit/images/orangeweby.jpg

RB

There never was any 'deal'.


Poor Snotty Potti's still smarting from the Catalina 30 drubbing he got
two years ago. He's such a pathetic loser! Soon all will see him upset
yet again!

RB

There never was any 'deal'.


Poor Snotty Potti's still smarting from the Catalina 30 drubbing he got
two years ago. He's such a pathetic loser! Soon all will see him upset
yet again!

RB

There never was any 'deal'.


Poor Snotty Potti's still smarting from the Catalina 30 drubbing he got
two years ago. He's such a pathetic loser! Soon all will see him upset
yet again!

RB

In answer to your question a wile back Bob Douglas says no boats on the
wharf past April 30th. If left they will be boomed away. I think that
he's full of shix but you never know.

Dry wrote:

Dam man you didn't learn from me at the Dock. Tuck it in next time. Yoe
you going to paint the Dory this year?

"Capt. Rob" wrote:

Thom, your pics look great and I just LOVE that Gulf!!! It's a really
charming boat. I wish the 32' version sailed better. I'm glad you're
enjoying the camera and making good use of it.
Not sure if you saw this pic before...

http://members.aol.com/bobsprit/images/orangeweby.jpg

RB

"Bob Crantz" wrote in message
news
Early Child Development Homo Prevention Tips

2. A boy must eat everything on his plate. But if your son pesters
you
to serve corn on the cob, hot dogs or sausages, that is your signal to
change his diet. Try serving meals that more effectively evoke a hankering
for the fragrant delights of the female genitalia. An artichoke stuffed
with
tuna fish will usually do the trick.

Wouldn't anchovy be better than Tuna?



Regards


Donal
--

No way...I'm thinking of a 7.5 Zodiac RIB with a15HP Merc.

I've been down sweep & shovel on a regular basis. She's fine!

CM

"Dry" wrote in message
...
Dam man you didn't learn from me at the Dock. Tuck it in next time. Yoe
you going to paint the Dory this year?

"Capt. Rob" wrote:

Thom, your pics look great and I just LOVE that Gulf!!! It's a really
charming boat. I wish the 32' version sailed better. I'm glad you're
enjoying the camera and making good use of it.
Not sure if you saw this pic before...

http://members.aol.com/bobsprit/images/orangeweby.jpg

RB

She's at Bay Landing, Prospect Bay...... No Worries!

CM

"Dry" wrote in message
...
In answer to your question a wile back Bob Douglas says no boats on the
wharf past April 30th. If left they will be boomed away. I think that
he's full of shix but you never know.

Dry wrote:

Dam man you didn't learn from me at the Dock. Tuck it in next time. Yoe
you going to paint the Dory this year?

"Capt. Rob" wrote:

Thom, your pics look great and I just LOVE that Gulf!!! It's a really
charming boat. I wish the 32' version sailed better. I'm glad you're
enjoying the camera and making good use of it.
Not sure if you saw this pic before...

http://members.aol.com/bobsprit/images/orangeweby.jpg

RB