"Dirk Bruere at Neopax" wrote in
:


And You Really Want to Vote for Me?

by Joseph Goebbels



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A citizen second class, with four convictions and eight pending cases? What
a dreamer!

In an essay I wrote that each National Socialist should obey the states
attorney, "when there isn't any way around it," regardless of whether it
was right or wrong. For that a court in Elberfeld fined me a hundred Marks
for inciting resistance against the state's attorney.

When Hans Hustert, in jail for trying to kill Scheidemann [Chancellor in
1922], had his teeth ruined by lousy prison food, I started a collection so
that this fiend could get his teeth fixed. A court in Munich fined me 50
Marks for an illegal collection.

As one of my wounded comrades was going to be trephined by the Jewish
doctor Levi, I organized a collection to bring this poor worker to a German
doctor. A court in Munich fined me 150 Marks, once again for an illegal
collection.

At a mass meeting of the NSDAP, I suggested keeping an editor of Der Tag
under close watch, since he had called a Hitler meeting a monkey house. The
filthy fink Carlotto Graetz, who slandered the front soldier Adolf Hitler
in the worst ways and tried to connect him with pimps and prostitutes, I
called a Jewish pig, in order to force him to bring suit. He didn't sue,
but I got six weeks in prison anyway because of "incitement to violence
without result."

A case is pending against me because I am supposed to have called police
chief Dr. Weiß Isidor, though his name is Bernard.

A second case is pending because I caricatured the above named Bernard Weiß
as Nero in Der Angriff, with the caption "Bernard only plays thankless
roles."

Then there is a third case, because the Angriff printed a cartoon of
Bernard Weiß behind the mask of a donkey, "clearly recognizable," with the
text that "In the state of emergency, any ass can govern."

A fourth case is pending to force me to say who Orje is [Orje was the star
of an Angriff satirical column].

A fifth pending case alleges that I drove over the leg of a poor worker.
Now that was a year ago. I've never driven a car in my life, and on the day
in question wasn't even in Berlin. But the state's attorney thinks that the
car had the number I A 2637, and I'm just the type to do something like
that. My reply that I don't know how to drive and have never had a license
only made the charge more serious.

I informed a red bigwig, who by irrelevant heckling was trying to break up
a meeting, that he was at a NSDAP meeting, and that if he didn't shut up we
would forgive the S.A. if, under the law, they threw him out. That led to a
sixth pending case, for "incitement to violence."

Then I am supposed to have said that the [Weimar] Republic is only a junk
shop, in which the bidders, auctioneers and politicians bitched. That led
to the seventh case, for "endangering the Republic."

The eighth case resulted because I said the day would come when the goal-
conscious, decisive minority would march against this state of cowardly
majorities, to put an end by force to usury and exploitation. This one was
for "attempted treason." (! !)

As I learn from reliable sources, four new cases are in the works. What
they concern I don't yet know. But that doesn't make much difference. I
only need to open my mouth or use my pen to give a state's attorney of the
Republic a month's work.

I have never gotten a golden toothpick from Barmat [a Jew involved in a
major financial scandal].

I don't wear a silk bathrobe from him.

During the great inflation I didn't get any guilders or dollars from him.

I have never trampled on the German people or their honor. But I have
always fought those cowards who left our common Fatherland in need.

The subway system will not give me a villa costing 120,000 Marks in the
foreseeable future.

No one has my signed photograph on his desk.

Under the conditions existing since 1918, I therefore have no chance of
getting anything done.

And you really want to vote for me?