Don't know about most days, but today there is no doubt just who's the
dumbest guy in the NG. Yours truly.

Thought I'd move the boat from my covered slip over to the yacht club
dock this afternoon. About a half hour's run.

En route, I began calculating how long it had been since last taking
on a load of fuel.

"I'm probably OK," I thought. "But maybe I'll stop off at the fuel
dock and get 20 gallons or so just for insurance. I'll fuel up
seriously next time I'm outside the locks and can get B20."

Pulled up to the local fuel dock. $3.99 per gallon for diesel. No big
deal, $80 bucks worth and I'll be certain of having more than enough
aboard for the upcoming lighted boats parades.

"In fact", I thought, "I'll put it all in the starboard tank. The trim
is a little heavy to port right now, and that will level things off
quite nicely."

"Hello, Chuck" says the fuel dock guy.

"Hi, Dave. I'm only going to put 20 gallons or so in the starboard
tank, just to
make sure I've got enough to do the Special People's Cruise and the
parade."

"No problem."

I uncrew the deck plate and begin filling the tank. At about 14 or 15
gallons, I'm hearing fuel in the vent line. "Impossible! I need a lot
more fuel than that, I've got to be down at least 100 gallons in this
150-gallon tank what the heck?"

Oh.......*That's* the heck!

In the gathering late afternoon darkness, I had unscrewed the deck cap
for the holding tank pump out.......immediately next to the fuel tank
filler. I had just topped off my holding tank with diesel.

Dumb, Dumb, Dumb.

"Don't feel too badly," said Dave. "The Argosy (huge commercial
charter boat) did exactly the same thing here not long ago. But of
course they took on well oer 100 gallons before they realized what
they had done."

"What did they do about it?" I asked.

"We hooked up my oil change pump and sucked it out. Only problem is, I
need a new hose for my oil change pump so I don't dare try to evacuate
your holding tank. I know I'd have diesel leaking into the water for
sure. Frankly, I don't know what we can do for you tonight, I'm
getting ready to close and go home."

They say Providence looks after kids and idiots, and just then this
idiot got a break.

Putt, putt, putting along the canal was one of the local "Sani-system"
boats.
A unique group of businessmen make a living by running small boats
with pumps and several hundred gallon holding tanks into our local
marinas where they pump out the holding tanks for liveaboards. It
normally costs about $25 to have a holding tank pumped. Dave waved the
guy over to the fuel dock.

"Maybe you can help us out," said Dave. "Chuck here has just pumped
about 15 gallons of diesel into his holding tank."

"No way," was the first response. "I can't put diesel into my sewage
tank, I wouldn't be able to discharge it."

"I have a plan," said Dave. I'll truck one of my waste oil recycling
barrels out here to the dock, you disconnect your hose from your sewer
tank and pump into the barrel. We'll flush the hose with a few gallons
of soapy water, and put that into the barrel as well, and then rinse
it all out with some lake water- also into the barrel."

"Well, OK" said the sani-system guy.

We pumped the holding tank into the recycle barrel. (The tank itself
was pretty empty before I added the diesel). Then we dumped some TSP
cleaner and water into the tank and sucked that into the barrel as
well. Finally, we
flushed the hose with lake water, and the ridiculous screw up was
corrected.

And so the dumbest guy in the NG, and certainly the dumbest guy
actually out on a boat in Seattle (there wasn't much traffic) this
afternoon was rescued from his own stupidity by a couple of guys who
didn't really *have* to do anything. I paid the pump out guy for his
time and trouble, but the Dave didn't charge me anything for the extra
trouble, or for staying past closing time to get me squared away. I am
on the hook for $2 per gallon to recyle the contaminated diesel when
the guy comes around to pick it up, but I'll be glad to get off so
cheaply.

"Good thing that wasn't gasoline," we all agreed.

"And good thing it wasn't your water tank," commented Dave. "This
happens more often than you'd think, and a lot of times people put
fuel into their potable water tanks. About the only real cure for that
is to replace the tank, and maybe some of the lines if any of the fuel
gets pumped through. You're getting off for under a hundred bucks all
said, all done, while a water tank replacement could cost $1000 or
more."

So round up the doo-wop group; "dum, dum, dum dum, dum de de de
diddly, dum dum doo wah....." :-)