Cheney, Briefly Assuming Bush’s Duties, Says He Enjoyed The Downtime

President’s Colon Procedure Offered Welcome Break From Grueling
Vice-Presidential Schedule

Vice-President Dick Cheney, having briefly assumed President Bush’s
duties while the President underwent a routine colon procedure on
Saturday, told reporters today that he “enjoyed the downtime immensely.”

The two hours and fifteen minutes spent doing Bush’s job were
“incredibly relaxing,” Mr. Cheney said, adding that they were a welcome
relief from his exacting Vice-Presidential schedule.

Invoking the Twenty-fifth Amendment to the Constitution Saturday
morning, Mr. Bush transferred to Mr. Cheney all of his presidential
responsibilities, which meant that Mr. Cheney spent Saturday jogging,
going to the gym, and hitting a ball for Mr. Bush’s dog to retrieve.

In addition, Mr. Cheney called the nations of East Timor and Luxembourg
“evil,” stumbling briefly over the pronunciation of Luxembourg.

Finally, as Mr. Bush’s colon procedure was winding down, Mr. Cheney made
some remarks about the Japanese economy, mistakenly using the word
“devaluation” instead of “deflation,” sending the NIKKEI stock market
into a tailspin.

All in all, Mr. Cheney said he emerged from his brief tenure as
President rested and refreshed, ready to plunge back into his demanding
Vice-Presidential workload.

As for the President, Mr. Bush’s doctors pronounced his procedure a
success, but said that they were having difficulty determining whether
or not the President’s anesthesia had fully worn off.

Mr. Bush’s doctors indicated that when they asked the President the
standard post-operative questions – such as, “What is the capital of the
United States?” – Mr. Bush got only two out of five correct.

“Before the operation, he got three out of five right,” one doctor said.

Elsewhere, a Mexican candy has been recalled after containing traces of
lead, in a sign of Mexico’s ongoing effort to compete with China’s candy
industry.


From Andy Borowitz.

As a fellow Democrat that doesn't agree with *your* views in many
respects... that was funny!

--Mike

"HK" wrote in message
...

Cheney, Briefly Assuming Bush’s Duties, Says He Enjoyed The Downtime

President’s Colon Procedure Offered Welcome Break From Grueling
Vice-Presidential Schedule

Vice-President Dick Cheney, having briefly assumed President Bush’s duties
while the President underwent a routine colon procedure on Saturday, told
reporters today that he “enjoyed the downtime immensely.”

The two hours and fifteen minutes spent doing Bush’s job were “incredibly
relaxing,” Mr. Cheney said, adding that they were a welcome relief from
his exacting Vice-Presidential schedule.

Invoking the Twenty-fifth Amendment to the Constitution Saturday morning,
Mr. Bush transferred to Mr. Cheney all of his presidential
responsibilities, which meant that Mr. Cheney spent Saturday jogging,
going to the gym, and hitting a ball for Mr. Bush’s dog to retrieve.

In addition, Mr. Cheney called the nations of East Timor and Luxembourg
“evil,” stumbling briefly over the pronunciation of Luxembourg.

Finally, as Mr. Bush’s colon procedure was winding down, Mr. Cheney made
some remarks about the Japanese economy, mistakenly using the word
“devaluation” instead of “deflation,” sending the NIKKEI stock market into
a tailspin.

All in all, Mr. Cheney said he emerged from his brief tenure as President
rested and refreshed, ready to plunge back into his demanding
Vice-Presidential workload.

As for the President, Mr. Bush’s doctors pronounced his procedure a
success, but said that they were having difficulty determining whether or
not the President’s anesthesia had fully worn off.

Mr. Bush’s doctors indicated that when they asked the President the
standard post-operative questions – such as, “What is the capital of the
United States?” – Mr. Bush got only two out of five correct.

“Before the operation, he got three out of five right,” one doctor said.

Elsewhere, a Mexican candy has been recalled after containing traces of
lead, in a sign of Mexico’s ongoing effort to compete with China’s candy
industry.


From Andy Borowitz.

On 21-Jul-2007, HK wrote:

Cheney, Briefly Assuming Bush’s Duties, Says He Enjoyed The Downtime

For the first time since early on Jan. 20, 1993, there was a competent,
intelligent person holding the office.