In another thread, someone was discussing his bad experience with a
potential boat buyer. I wonder if sometimes things happen to buyers
that thye just dont expect.
For example, my wife and I looked at a piece of property in Wyoming we
loved. We lived near there when first married and it is a true gem;
mountaintop, 4 acres, on a paved year round access road, 20 min from
town, flat, great view. She loved it and talked about buying it and
we discussed going there each year in the summer etc. We already go
to Wy every other summer. So, after nearly a year of back and forth
with the owner, we agreed on a price. I arranged financing via a home
equity loan, no problem with huge amount of equity. I arranged a
realtor to draw up a contract, I did my homework on value. I talked
it over with the owner and was ready to send the contract. Suddenly,
my wife balks at it. She is worried about all the "what ifs". She
wants to make sure there is no risk at all, etc. I cannot proceed
with this unless my wife signs the home equity loan so now I look
like a fool. I am sure the owner is cursing me and he has a right to
but I really thought my wife was ready to do this. The owner prob
will not be willing to deal with me again after this fiasco but from
my position as buyer, this was totally unexpected.

Interesting story. Q: Was your wife on board in the deal from the start,
or did you initialize it with the seller, lay the groundwork, and then
tell her?
JR

wrote:
In another thread, someone was discussing his bad experience with a
potential boat buyer. I wonder if sometimes things happen to buyers
that thye just dont expect.
For example, my wife and I looked at a piece of property in Wyoming we
loved. We lived near there when first married and it is a true gem;
mountaintop, 4 acres, on a paved year round access road, 20 min from
town, flat, great view. She loved it and talked about buying it and
we discussed going there each year in the summer etc. We already go
to Wy every other summer. So, after nearly a year of back and forth
with the owner, we agreed on a price. I arranged financing via a home
equity loan, no problem with huge amount of equity. I arranged a
realtor to draw up a contract, I did my homework on value. I talked
it over with the owner and was ready to send the contract. Suddenly,
my wife balks at it. She is worried about all the "what ifs". She
wants to make sure there is no risk at all, etc. I cannot proceed
with this unless my wife signs the home equity loan so now I look
like a fool. I am sure the owner is cursing me and he has a right to
but I really thought my wife was ready to do this. The owner prob
will not be willing to deal with me again after this fiasco but from
my position as buyer, this was totally unexpected.



--
--------------------------------------------------------------
Home Page: http://www.seanet.com/~jasonrnorth

On May 11, 9:24 pm, JR North wrote:
Interesting story. Q: Was your wife on board in the deal from the start,
or did you initialize it with the seller, lay the groundwork, and then
tell her?
JR



wrote:
In another thread, someone was discussing his bad experience with a
potential boat buyer. I wonder if sometimes things happen to buyers
that thye just dont expect.
For example, my wife and I looked at a piece of property in Wyoming we
loved. We lived near there when first married and it is a true gem;
mountaintop, 4 acres, on a paved year round access road, 20 min from
town, flat, great view. She loved it and talked about buying it and
we discussed going there each year in the summer etc. We already go
to Wy every other summer. So, after nearly a year of back and forth
with the owner, we agreed on a price. I arranged financing via a home
equity loan, no problem with huge amount of equity. I arranged a
realtor to draw up a contract, I did my homework on value. I talked
it over with the owner and was ready to send the contract. Suddenly,
my wife balks at it. She is worried about all the "what ifs". She
wants to make sure there is no risk at all, etc. I cannot proceed
with this unless my wife signs the home equity loan so now I look
like a fool. I am sure the owner is cursing me and he has a right to
but I really thought my wife was ready to do this. The owner prob
will not be willing to deal with me again after this fiasco but from
my position as buyer, this was totally unexpected.

--
--------------------------------------------------------------
Home Page:http://www.seanet.com/~jasonrnorth

I told her we'd settled on a price and had gotten a realtor to draw up
a contract. I thought she knew I was totally serious. In the past,
she had few qualms about taking risks,in fact I married her because
she was a risk taker. This sudden bout of the "what ifs" completely
puzzles me. But you know, its just like the saying, "Women marry
hoping to change their men, men marry hoping their women do not
change."
Now she says, "I dont want to do anything that might jeapordize our
home in any way" which baffles the hell outta me. Whats the use of
having equity if you arent going to use it as leverage. I think that
having my own business for years has made me very casual about large
sums of money and about risk in general. Her profession of being a
public school teacher has emphasized low risk behaviour and covering
her ass at all costs (I am not sure we want this type of people
teaching our kids).
I feel like I got blindsided on this and am too embarassed to call the
seller back right now. Even though it was my wifes issues, I should
take blame for not reading her correctly. Sometimes the buyer has
problems they did not consider.

On 11 May 2007 19:08:55 -0700, wrote:

Now she says, "I dont want to do anything that might jeapordize our
home in any way" which baffles the hell outta me. Whats the use of
having equity if you arent going to use it as leverage.

Why not do the deal as a straight mortgage on the Wyoming property
rather than a home equity loan?

Wayne.B wrote:
Why not do the deal as a straight mortgage on the Wyoming property
rather than a home equity loan?

I was wondering the same thing. But he never really mentioned whether
the property was improved or not, and unless it's a business related
thing, the interest won't be tax deductible unless there's a home (2nd
home) on it. Maybe that's the reason?

Rick

On May 12, 9:45 am, wrote:
Wayne.B wrote:
Why not do the deal as a straight mortgage on the Wyoming property
rather than a home equity loan?

I was wondering the same thing. But he never really mentioned whether
the property was improved or not, and unless it's a business related
thing, the interest won't be tax deductible unless there's a home (2nd
home) on it. Maybe that's the reason?

Rick

The property has a 100 yr old 400 sq ft log cabin. The inspector gave
3 options, burn it down, tear it down or pull it down. He also
thought the snow from 2 more winters would do the job. So, it is
basically unimproved.

On 11 May 2007 19:08:55 -0700, wrote:


I told her we'd settled on a price and had gotten a realtor to draw up
a contract. I thought she knew I was totally serious. In the past,
she had few qualms about taking risks,in fact I married her because
she was a risk taker. This sudden bout of the "what ifs" completely
puzzles me. But you know, its just like the saying, "Women marry
hoping to change their men, men marry hoping their women do not
change."
Now she says, "I dont want to do anything that might jeapordize our
home in any way" which baffles the hell outta me. Whats the use of
having equity if you arent going to use it as leverage. I think that
having my own business for years has made me very casual about large
sums of money and about risk in general. Her profession of being a
public school teacher has emphasized low risk behaviour and covering
her ass at all costs (I am not sure we want this type of people
teaching our kids).
I feel like I got blindsided on this and am too embarassed to call the
seller back right now. Even though it was my wifes issues, I should
take blame for not reading her correctly. Sometimes the buyer has
problems they did not consider.

Yep, you had a communication failure. Lots of women don't like liens
on their home. Men too, and I'm one of them. Age has a lot to do
with it too. What younger people call leverage older people call just
plain debt. A lienless home is a real ace in the hole, but it's hard
to play it except on a real good hand. For many that hand can only be
replacing or improving the house.

--Vic

"Vic Smith" wrote in message
...


Yep, you had a communication failure. Lots of women don't like liens
on their home. Men too, and I'm one of them. Age has a lot to do
with it too. What younger people call leverage older people call just
plain debt. A lienless home is a real ace in the hole, but it's hard
to play it except on a real good hand. For many that hand can only be
replacing or improving the house.


Women are nesters and there is often no rhyme or reason for their attachment
to a house.
I've had many discussions with Mrs. E. regarding the 8000 square foot house
we own but only two of us live in. It's not like we raised all the kids
here or anything .... we bought it after they had all left the nest because
it was ideally setup for her (then) new interest in having horses. Now, we
don't even have the horses here ... they are boarded at a nearby training
stable. The horse barn, which I have all kinds of ideas for converting for
other uses, is off limits and remains spotlessly clean, ready to house the
horses again if they ever return. (which, if I have my way, they won't).

There are bedrooms and bathrooms in this house that have never been used,
for cripes sake. No level of logic or rational thinking will permit any
consideration on her part to selling it and moving into a more sensible
house for two. Oh, well. I tell people it's like living in an empty
Sheridan.

Eisboch

On Sat, 12 May 2007 08:43:47 -0400, "RCE" wrote:


"Vic Smith" wrote in message
.. .


There are bedrooms and bathrooms in this house that have never been used,
for cripes sake. No level of logic or rational thinking will permit any
consideration on her part to selling it and moving into a more sensible
house for two. Oh, well. I tell people it's like living in an empty
Sheridan.

She might just have too many fond memories of the stables to make the
break. Sometimes I think my wife is more attached to her gardens
around the house than to the house itself.
I know when I mention moving to Florida her main point of resistance
is losing her gardens. I've studied Florida gardening a bit, but it
looks like it's quite different than what she's accustomed to.
See if you can find a smaller house that has stables.
Even if you don't plan they will be occupied (-:

--Vic

"Vic Smith" wrote in message
...
On 11 May 2007 19:08:55 -0700, wrote:


I told her we'd settled on a price and had gotten a realtor to draw up
a contract. I thought she knew I was totally serious. In the past,
she had few qualms about taking risks,in fact I married her because
she was a risk taker. This sudden bout of the "what ifs" completely
puzzles me. But you know, its just like the saying, "Women marry
hoping to change their men, men marry hoping their women do not
change."
Now she says, "I dont want to do anything that might jeapordize our
home in any way" which baffles the hell outta me. Whats the use of
having equity if you arent going to use it as leverage. I think that
having my own business for years has made me very casual about large
sums of money and about risk in general. Her profession of being a
public school teacher has emphasized low risk behaviour and covering
her ass at all costs (I am not sure we want this type of people
teaching our kids).
I feel like I got blindsided on this and am too embarassed to call the
seller back right now. Even though it was my wifes issues, I should
take blame for not reading her correctly. Sometimes the buyer has
problems they did not consider.

Yep, you had a communication failure. Lots of women don't like liens
on their home. Men too, and I'm one of them. Age has a lot to do
with it too. What younger people call leverage older people call just
plain debt. A lienless home is a real ace in the hole, but it's hard
to play it except on a real good hand. For many that hand can only be
replacing or improving the house.

--Vic


After paying a mortgage bi-weekly year after year, I was happy as hell to
retire the mortgage about seven years ago. That's also why I keep my old
low mileage mini-van... it was paid for 8 years ago. You can always go back
into debt when the mood strikes you.