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Deep Thoughts
On Thu, 22 Dec 2005 23:19:20 GMT, Shortwave Sportfishing
wrote: Winners never quit and quitters never win. But, if you never win AND you never quit you're an idiot. Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you're a mile away -- and you have their shoes. If I was ever in an elevator car that was dropped from a 747, I'd try to jump just before we hit the ground. I wouldn't want to die without saying I'd at least tried that. My grandfather once told me that women like to be pursued. What he did NOT tell me, the old *******, was that you shouldn't do so wearing a ski mask and carrying a blood spattered shovel. They say that a million monkeys working for a million years will eventually produce the full text of Hamlet. But they'll never be able to produce something as simple as a Star Trek script, because monkeys cannot grasp the concept of the laser. They say when life hands you lemons, you should make lemonade. Yesterday, life came up and handed me a couple of kumquats and said "good luck." I think that when someone asks you "How they hangin?" you should be allowed to drop your pants and check. If starship full of aliens lands on the earth tomorrow, and they are totally peaceful and want to be our friends, I hope they don't taste like chicken because we already know what that tastes like. I hope they taste like swan. Very good. I know you won't mind if I cut'n'paste it and send it to everyone I know that sends me jokes. If you want, I'll put 'Tom said:...' in front of it. -- John H **** May your Christmas be Spectacular!**** *****...and your New Year even Better!***** |
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