You may be a Republican if:

* You think the next tax cut is for you.
* you think bin Laden is one of Saddam's sons
* you think Donald Rumsfeld is Secretary of State
* you think Ann Coulter is a dream girl
* you think Sean Hannity and Rush Limbaugh were founding fathers
* you think SUV ownership is a constitutionally guaranteed freedom
* you think the Supreme Court guarantees correct election results
* you think the Patriot Act is about raising your flag on the Fourth of
July.
* you think corporations should have free speech and use it to lie
* you think that Kuwait is a democracy
* you think a McDonalds at one end of town and Burger King at the other
is a sign of a thriving economy.
* you think a minimum wage is too high.
* you think that single payer plan is a communist plot
* you think national sovereignty is an imminent threat
* you think homeland security is homeland security
* you think Dennis Miller has finally got it right
* you think duct-tape is essential to national security
* you have recently been born again.
* you think Bill O'Reilly's "No Spin Zone" is a "No Spin Zone"
* you think George Bush is smarter than he seems
* you haven't laughed yet.