HAMMER: Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays is used as a
kind of divining rod to locate expensive parts not far from the object we are
trying to hit.

UTILITY KNIFE: Used to open and slice through the contents of cardboard cartons
delivered to your front door; works particularly well on boxes containing seats,
rubber hoses, and motorcycle jackets.

ELECTRIC HAND DRILL: Normally used for spinning steel pop rivets in their holes
until you die of old age. Also works great for drilling mounting holes in
fenders just above the brake line that goes to the rear wheel.

PLIERS: Used to round off bolt heads.

VISE-GRIPS: Used to round off bolt heads when pliers are unavailable. Can also
be used to transfer intense welding heat to the palm of your hand.

HACKSAW: One of a family of cutting tools used to transform human energy into a
crooked, unpredictable motion. The more you attempt to influence its course, the
more dismal your future becomes.

OXYACETYLENE TORCH: Used almost entirely for igniting various flammable objects
in your garage. Also handy for igniting the grease inside a brake drum you're
trying to get the bearing race out of.

CRAFTMAN SOCKETS: Once used for working on older American cars and motorcycles,
they are now used mainly for impersonating that 14mm or 12mm socket you've been
trying to find for the last 15 minutes.

DRILL PRESS: A tall upright machine useful for suddenly snatching flat metal bar
stock out of your hands so that it smacks you in the chest and flings your
coffee across the room, splattering it against that freshly painted part you
were drying.

WIRE WHEEL: Cleans rust off old bolts and then throws them somewhere under the
workbench with the speed of light. Also removes fingerprint whorls and
hard-earned guitar calluses in about the time it takes you to say "Ouch...."

HYDRAULIC FLOOR JACK: Used for lowering a motorcycle to the ground after you
have installed your new front disk brake setup, trapping the jack handle firmly
under the front fender.

EIGHT-FOOT LONG DOUGLAS FIR 2X4: Used for levering a motorcycle upward.
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