....the satirical on-line pub, The Onion, runs the following piece in its
entirety, changing only the dateline and the number of killed and
injured, because the story is always the same:



ROSEBURG, OR—In the hours following a violent rampage in (southwestern
Oregon) in which a lone attacker killed (nine individuals and seriously
injured seven others), citizens living in the only country where this
kind of mass killing routinely occurs reportedly concluded Thursday that
there was no way to prevent the massacre from taking place. “This was a
terrible tragedy, but sometimes these things just happen and there’s
nothing anyone can do to stop them,� said Ohio resident Lindsay Bennett,
echoing sentiments expressed by tens of millions of individuals who
reside in a nation where over half of the world’s deadliest mass
shootings have occurred in the past 50 years and whose citizens are 20
times more likely to die of gun violence than those of other developed
nations. “It’s a shame, but what can we do? There really wasn’t anything
that was going to keep this guy from snapping and killing a lot of
people if that’s what he really wanted.� At press time, residents of the
only economically advanced nation in the world where roughly two mass
shootings have occurred every month for the past six years were
referring to themselves and their situation as “helpless.�

- - -

It's the Fretwell-Herring-W'hine-FlaTrash response, immortalized by the
Onion. "We can't do nuttin' about this, honey!"