Please, take care of yourself out on the roads this holiday season.
A recent joint study conducted by the Department of Health and the Department of Motor Vehicles
indicates that 23% of traffic accidents are alcohol related.

This means that the remaining 77% are caused by assholes who drink bottled water, Starbuck's, soda,
juice, energy drinks, and **** like that.

Therefore, beware of those who do not drink alcohol. They cause three times as many accidents.

This message is sent to you by someone who worries about your safety.