Bubba and Billy Bob are walking down the street in Atlanta, and they see a sign on a store which
reads, "Suits $5.00 each! , shirts $2.00 each, trousers $2.50 each. "

Bubba says to his pal, "Billy Bob, look here! We could buy a whole gob of these, take 'em back to
Sand Mountain, sell 'em to our friends, and make a fortune. Just let me do the talkin' 'cause if
they hear your accent, they might think we're ignorant and won't wanna sell that stuff to us. Now,
I'll talk in a slow Georgia drawl so's they don't know we is from Alabama."

They go in and Bubba says with his best fake Georgia drawl, "I'll take 50 of them suits at $5.00
each, 100 of them there shirts at $2.00 each, 50 pairs of them there trousers at $2.50 each. I'll
back up my pickup and..."

The owner of the shop interrupts, "Ya'll from South Alabama, ain't ya?"

"Well...yeah," says a surprised Bubba...."How come you knowed that?"

"Because this is a dry cleaners"

On Mon, 27 Jun 2011 12:43:15 -0400, John H
wrote:

Bubba and Billy Bob are walking down the street in Atlanta, and they see a sign on a store which
reads, "Suits $5.00 each! , shirts $2.00 each, trousers $2.50 each. "

Bubba says to his pal, "Billy Bob, look here! We could buy a whole gob of these, take 'em back to
Sand Mountain, sell 'em to our friends, and make a fortune. Just let me do the talkin' 'cause if
they hear your accent, they might think we're ignorant and won't wanna sell that stuff to us. Now,
I'll talk in a slow Georgia drawl so's they don't know we is from Alabama."

They go in and Bubba says with his best fake Georgia drawl, "I'll take 50 of them suits at $5.00
each, 100 of them there shirts at $2.00 each, 50 pairs of them there trousers at $2.50 each. I'll
back up my pickup and..."

The owner of the shop interrupts, "Ya'll from South Alabama, ain't ya?"

"Well...yeah," says a surprised Bubba...."How come you knowed that?"

"Because this is a dry cleaners"
good one!
Now check this one out. Kinda long, sorry.

Subject: Shugah, this is Southern
-------

Suthunauhs!

Southern women know their summer weather report:
Humidity
Humidity
Humidity

Southern women know their vacation spots:
The beach
The rivuh
The crick

Southern women know everybody's first name:
Honey
Darlin'
Shugah

Southern women know the movies that speak to their hearts:
Fried Green Tomatoes
Driving Miss Daisy
Steel Magnolias
Gone With The Wind

Southern women know their religions:
Baptist
Methodist
Football

Southern women know their cities dripping with Southern charm:
Chawl'stn
S'vanah
Foat Wuth
N'awlins
Addlanna

Southern women know their elegant gentlemen:
Men in uniform
Men in tuxedos
Rhett Butler

Southern girls know their prime real estate:
The Mall
The Country Club
The Beauty Salon

Southern girls know the 3 deadly sins:
Having bad hair and nails
Having bad manners
Cooking bad food

More Suthen-ism's:
Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a
conniption fit, and that you don't "HAVE" them, you "PITCH" them.

Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens,
peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess."

Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction
of "yonder."

Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is, as in:
"Going to town, be back directly."

Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for
the white, granular, sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl
in the middle of the table.

All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use
the term, but they know the concept well.

Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace
for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a
big bowl of cold potato salad.
If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a
large banana puddin'!

Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near"
and "a right far piece." They also know that "just down the road" can
be 1 mile or 20.

Only a Southerner both knows and understands the difference between a
redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.

No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing
turn signal is actually going to make a turn.

A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an
adverb.

Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines, ... and when
we're "in line,"... we talk to everybody!

Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're
related, even if only by marriage.

In the South, y'all is singular, all y'all is plural.

Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.

Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee
are perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food;
and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.

When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin'," you know
you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!

Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea
indicates the need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not like our tea
unsweetened.. "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.

And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old
ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say,"Bless her
heart"... and go your own way.

To those of you who are still a little embarrassed by your
Southerness: Take two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and
call me in the morning. Bless your heart!

And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all
this Southern stuff....bless your hearts, I hear they are fixin' to
have classes on Southernness as a second language!

Southern girls know men may come and go, but friends are fahevah !

On Tue, 28 Jun 2011 13:07:03 -0700, Eddie wrote:

On Mon, 27 Jun 2011 12:43:15 -0400, John H
wrote:

Bubba and Billy Bob are walking down the street in Atlanta, and they see a sign on a store which
reads, "Suits $5.00 each! , shirts $2.00 each, trousers $2.50 each. "

Bubba says to his pal, "Billy Bob, look here! We could buy a whole gob of these, take 'em back to
Sand Mountain, sell 'em to our friends, and make a fortune. Just let me do the talkin' 'cause if
they hear your accent, they might think we're ignorant and won't wanna sell that stuff to us. Now,
I'll talk in a slow Georgia drawl so's they don't know we is from Alabama."

They go in and Bubba says with his best fake Georgia drawl, "I'll take 50 of them suits at $5.00
each, 100 of them there shirts at $2.00 each, 50 pairs of them there trousers at $2.50 each. I'll
back up my pickup and..."

The owner of the shop interrupts, "Ya'll from South Alabama, ain't ya?"

"Well...yeah," says a surprised Bubba...."How come you knowed that?"

"Because this is a dry cleaners"
good one!
Now check this one out. Kinda long, sorry.

Subject: Shugah, this is Southern
-------

Suthunauhs!

Southern women know their summer weather report:
Humidity
Humidity
Humidity

Southern women know their vacation spots:
The beach
The rivuh
The crick

Southern women know everybody's first name:
Honey
Darlin'
Shugah

Southern women know the movies that speak to their hearts:
Fried Green Tomatoes
Driving Miss Daisy
Steel Magnolias
Gone With The Wind

Southern women know their religions:
Baptist
Methodist
Football

Southern women know their cities dripping with Southern charm:
Chawl'stn
S'vanah
Foat Wuth
N'awlins
Addlanna

Southern women know their elegant gentlemen:
Men in uniform
Men in tuxedos
Rhett Butler

Southern girls know their prime real estate:
The Mall
The Country Club
The Beauty Salon

Southern girls know the 3 deadly sins:
Having bad hair and nails
Having bad manners
Cooking bad food

More Suthen-ism's:
Only a Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a
conniption fit, and that you don't "HAVE" them, you "PITCH" them.

Only a Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens,
peas, beans, etc., make up "a mess."

Only a Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction
of "yonder."

Only a Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is, as in:
"Going to town, be back directly."

Even Southern babies know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for
the white, granular, sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl
in the middle of the table.

All Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use
the term, but they know the concept well.

Only a Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace
for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a
big bowl of cold potato salad.
If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a
large banana puddin'!

Only Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near"
and "a right far piece." They also know that "just down the road" can
be 1 mile or 20.

Only a Southerner both knows and understands the difference between a
redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.

No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing
turn signal is actually going to make a turn.

A Southerner knows that "fixin" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an
adverb.

Only Southerners make friends while standing in lines, ... and when
we're "in line,"... we talk to everybody!

Put 100 Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're
related, even if only by marriage.

In the South, y'all is singular, all y'all is plural.

Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.

Every Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee
are perfectly wonderful; that red eye gravy is also a breakfast food;
and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.

When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin'," you know
you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!

Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea
indicates the need for sugar and lots of it -- we do not like our tea
unsweetened.. "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.

And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old
ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say,"Bless her
heart"... and go your own way.

To those of you who are still a little embarrassed by your
Southerness: Take two tent revivals and a dose of sausage gravy and
call me in the morning. Bless your heart!

And to those of you who are still having a hard time understanding all
this Southern stuff....bless your hearts, I hear they are fixin' to
have classes on Southernness as a second language!

Southern girls know men may come and go, but friends are fahevah !

All of 'em are true! However, I think the real plural of 'y'all' is 'ally'all' (said as one word,
naturly!).

And personally, I think letting tomatoes turn red is a waste of a good green tomato.