Krause stiffly marches into the commissars office and stands stiffly
giving the required party greeting:

Krause: HOPE

The commissar stands quickly lifting his chin and staring imperiously
into the distance in his best impersonation of THE ONE and gives the
party reply.

Comm.: and CHANGE

Commisar: Now comrade Krause, to what do I owe the honor of a visit
from you? Heh, but first, let me tell you, that pogrom of yours to
eliminate intellectuals is going very well. Totally untrustworthy
they are, always with the ideas of their own. Our party requires
OBEDIANCE, not ideas.

Krause: Comrade, my rations have been cut and…….

Commissar: Comrade Krause, there has been no cutting of rations of
but we have had Kinetic Less than Unitary Increases. Furthermore, YOU
of all people should understand the necessity of fighting any tendency
of backsliding toward capitalism. Once we started rounding up these
traitorious capitalist intellectuals, we have had less than unity
multiples of ration increases and we think there is a capitalist plot
to sabotage food production. Even with the executions of those who do
not meet minimum quotas, we still cannot inspire the farmers to
produce more. They claim they don’t have enough fuel, the traitors.

Krause: ….and I think I am being followed……..

Commissar: Ahhh Comrade, we have to take every step to root out
capitalist tendencies and nobody AND I MEAN NOBODY is above suspicion,
even YOU Comrade Krause.

Krause: Me………what?

The commissar moves papers around in a file with a malevolent sneer.

Commissar: Yes, COMRADE (said with a mocking sneer), allegations that
YOU attended that bastion of capitalist training, YALE. We found no
records of you there but YOU have friends who could have purged them
and there are these “rumors” from certain places on the internet.

Krause: No, sir, it was just a joke and I have been faithful since
even before the War with Libya.

Commissar: AHA, capitalist swine, We have never been at war with
Libya but have ALWAYS been at war with the vile jews in Israel. Your
own capitalist tendencies finally come out. Of course, we also have
the rumors of your yacht you capitalist vermin.
Krause cringes.

Krause: Sir, I have no yacht, it’s only a bass boat really blue
collar.

Commissar: Right Krausie, I quote, “A Parker, like a lobster
boat”……..A fancy yacht on which you eat lobster with the rest of the
degenerate capitalists eh?

The commissar reaches under the lip of his desk and pushes a button
and two uniformed thugs march in and grab Krause’s arms.

Krause: Sir……….NO……….

The Commissar brushes off his hands and shoulders as if something
nasty was on him and addresses the two guards.

Commissar: Don’t waste a bullet on him, march him off the end of the
dock as he likes “fishing”.