Toward the end of the Sunday service, the Minister asked, "How many of you have
forgiven your enemies?"

80% held up their hands.

The Minister then repeated his question. All responded this time, except one
man, an avid fisherman named Walter Barnes, who attended church only when the
weather was too bad to fish.

"Mr. Barnes, it's obviously not a good morning for boating. It's good to see
you here today. Are you not willing to forgive your enemies?"

"I don't have any," he replied gruffly.

"Mr. Barnes, that is very unusual. How old are you?"

"Ninety-eight," he replied. The congregation stood up and clapped their hands.

"Oh, Mr. Barnes, would you please come down in front and tell us all how a
person can live ninety-eight years and not have an enemy in the world?"

The old golfer tottered down the aisle, stopped in front of the pulpit, turned
around, faced the congregation, and said simply, "I outlived all the sons of
bitches."

That's what I'm a gonna do.

"Red meat is not bad for you
Fuzzy green meat is bad for you."