BoatBanter.com

BoatBanter.com (https://www.boatbanter.com/)
-   General (https://www.boatbanter.com/general/)
-   -   Let's hope this happens to us! (https://www.boatbanter.com/general/122916-lets-hope-happens-us.html)

John H[_2_] January 28th 11 04:38 PM

Let's hope this happens to us!
 
Toward the end of the Sunday service, the Minister asked, "How many of you have
forgiven your enemies?"

80% held up their hands.

The Minister then repeated his question. All responded this time, except one
man, an avid fisherman named Walter Barnes, who attended church only when the
weather was too bad to fish.

"Mr. Barnes, it's obviously not a good morning for boating. It's good to see
you here today. Are you not willing to forgive your enemies?"

"I don't have any," he replied gruffly.

"Mr. Barnes, that is very unusual. How old are you?"

"Ninety-eight," he replied. The congregation stood up and clapped their hands.

"Oh, Mr. Barnes, would you please come down in front and tell us all how a
person can live ninety-eight years and not have an enemy in the world?"

The old golfer tottered down the aisle, stopped in front of the pulpit, turned
around, faced the congregation, and said simply, "I outlived all the sons of
bitches."

That's what I'm a gonna do.

"Red meat is not bad for you
Fuzzy green meat is bad for you."

Harryk January 28th 11 04:58 PM

Let's hope this happens to us!
 
On 1/28/11 11:38 AM, John H wrote:
Toward the end of the Sunday service, the Minister asked, "How many of you have
forgiven your enemies?"

80% held up their hands.

The Minister then repeated his question. All responded this time, except one
man, an avid fisherman named Walter Barnes, who attended church only when the
weather was too bad to fish.

"Mr. Barnes, it's obviously not a good morning for boating. It's good to see
you here today. Are you not willing to forgive your enemies?"

"I don't have any," he replied gruffly.

"Mr. Barnes, that is very unusual. How old are you?"

"Ninety-eight," he replied. The congregation stood up and clapped their hands.

"Oh, Mr. Barnes, would you please come down in front and tell us all how a
person can live ninety-eight years and not have an enemy in the world?"

The old golfer tottered down the aisle, stopped in front of the pulpit, turned
around, faced the congregation, and said simply, "I outlived all the sons of
bitches."

That's what I'm a gonna do.



I'm sure you'd rather outlive your enemies than forgive them because
you're such a "high values" christian.

Tim January 28th 11 11:54 PM

Let's hope this happens to us!
 
On Jan 28, 10:38*am, John H wrote:
Toward the end of the Sunday service, the Minister asked, "How many of *you have
forgiven your enemies?"

80% held up their hands.

The Minister then repeated his question. All responded this time, except one
man, an avid fisherman named Walter Barnes, who attended church only when the
weather was too bad to fish.

"Mr. Barnes, it's obviously not a good morning for boating. *It's good to see
you here today. Are you not willing to forgive your enemies?"

"I don't have any," he replied gruffly.

"Mr. Barnes, that is very unusual. How old are you?"

"Ninety-eight," he replied. The congregation stood up and clapped *their hands.

"Oh, Mr. Barnes, would you please come down in front and tell us all how a
person can live ninety-eight years and not have an enemy in the *world?"

The old golfer tottered down the aisle, stopped in front of the pulpit, turned
around, faced the *congregation, and said simply, "I outlived all the sons of
bitches."

That's what I'm a gonna do.

"Red meat is not bad for you
Fuzzy green meat is bad for you."


I had an idea what was coming cringe

But it was still funny!

BTW, did the guy boat/ fish, and golf at the same time???

Tim January 28th 11 11:54 PM

Let's hope this happens to us!
 
On Jan 28, 4:52*pm, Gene wrote:
On Fri, 28 Jan 2011 11:38:05 -0500, John H
wrote:



Toward the end of the Sunday service, the Minister asked, "How many of *you have
forgiven your enemies?"


80% held up their hands.


The Minister then repeated his question. All responded this time, except one
man, an avid fisherman named Walter Barnes, who attended church only when the
weather was too bad to fish.


"Mr. Barnes, it's obviously not a good morning for boating. *It's good to see
you here today. Are you not willing to forgive your enemies?"


"I don't have any," he replied gruffly.


"Mr. Barnes, that is very unusual. How old are you?"


"Ninety-eight," he replied. The congregation stood up and clapped *their hands.


"Oh, Mr. Barnes, would you please come down in front and tell us all how a
person can live ninety-eight years and not have an enemy in the *world?"


The old golfer tottered down the aisle, stopped in front of the pulpit, turned
around, faced the *congregation, and said simply, "I outlived all the sons of
bitches."


That's what I'm a gonna do.


"Red meat is not bad for you
Fuzzy green meat is bad for you."


??Golfer or Boater??

--
It is usually futile to try to talk facts and analysis to people who are
enjoying a sense of moral superiority in their ignorance.
*-Thomas Sowell

Grady-White Gulfstream, out of Oak Island, NC.

Homepage
*http://pamandgene.tranquilrefuge.net/boating/the_boat/my_boat.htm

Forté Agent 6.00 Build 1186


Evidedntly both,. maybe he fished in the Water trap.

John H[_2_] January 29th 11 01:48 AM

Let's hope this happens to us!
 
On Fri, 28 Jan 2011 17:52:09 -0500, Gene
wrote:

On Fri, 28 Jan 2011 11:38:05 -0500, John H
wrote:

Toward the end of the Sunday service, the Minister asked, "How many of you have
forgiven your enemies?"

80% held up their hands.

The Minister then repeated his question. All responded this time, except one
man, an avid fisherman named Walter Barnes, who attended church only when the
weather was too bad to fish.

"Mr. Barnes, it's obviously not a good morning for boating. It's good to see
you here today. Are you not willing to forgive your enemies?"

"I don't have any," he replied gruffly.

"Mr. Barnes, that is very unusual. How old are you?"

"Ninety-eight," he replied. The congregation stood up and clapped their hands.

"Oh, Mr. Barnes, would you please come down in front and tell us all how a
person can live ninety-eight years and not have an enemy in the world?"

The old boater tottered down the aisle, stopped in front of the pulpit, turned
around, faced the congregation, and said simply, "I outlived all the sons of
bitches."

That's what I'm a gonna do.

"Red meat is not bad for you
Fuzzy green meat is bad for you."



??Golfer or Boater??


Say what?

John H[_2_] January 29th 11 01:49 AM

Let's hope this happens to us!
 
On Fri, 28 Jan 2011 15:54:03 -0800 (PST), Tim wrote:

On Jan 28, 10:38*am, John H wrote:
Toward the end of the Sunday service, the Minister asked, "How many of *you have
forgiven your enemies?"

80% held up their hands.

The Minister then repeated his question. All responded this time, except one
man, an avid fisherman named Walter Barnes, who attended church only when the
weather was too bad to fish.

"Mr. Barnes, it's obviously not a good morning for boating. *It's good to see
you here today. Are you not willing to forgive your enemies?"

"I don't have any," he replied gruffly.

"Mr. Barnes, that is very unusual. How old are you?"

"Ninety-eight," he replied. The congregation stood up and clapped *their hands.

"Oh, Mr. Barnes, would you please come down in front and tell us all how a
person can live ninety-eight years and not have an enemy in the *world?"

The old golfer tottered down the aisle, stopped in front of the pulpit, turned
around, faced the *congregation, and said simply, "I outlived all the sons of
bitches."

That's what I'm a gonna do.

"Red meat is not bad for you
Fuzzy green meat is bad for you."


I had an idea what was coming cringe

But it was still funny!

BTW, did the guy boat/ fish, and golf at the same time???


OK,OK... y'all caught me!

John H[_2_] January 29th 11 03:09 PM

Let's hope this happens to us!
 
On Fri, 28 Jan 2011 21:22:12 -0500, Gene
wrote:

On Fri, 28 Jan 2011 20:48:09 -0500, John H
wrote:

On Fri, 28 Jan 2011 17:52:09 -0500, Gene
wrote:

On Fri, 28 Jan 2011 11:38:05 -0500, John H
wrote:

Toward the end of the Sunday service, the Minister asked, "How many of you have
forgiven your enemies?"

80% held up their hands.

The Minister then repeated his question. All responded this time, except one
man, an avid fisherman named Walter Barnes, who attended church only when the
weather was too bad to fish.

"Mr. Barnes, it's obviously not a good morning for boating. It's good to see
you here today. Are you not willing to forgive your enemies?"

"I don't have any," he replied gruffly.

"Mr. Barnes, that is very unusual. How old are you?"

"Ninety-eight," he replied. The congregation stood up and clapped their hands.

"Oh, Mr. Barnes, would you please come down in front and tell us all how a
person can live ninety-eight years and not have an enemy in the world?"

The old boater tottered down the aisle, stopped in front of the pulpit, turned
around, faced the congregation, and said simply, "I outlived all the sons of
bitches."

That's what I'm a gonna do.

"Red meat is not bad for you
Fuzzy green meat is bad for you."


??Golfer or Boater??


Say what?


I'll make it easy on you...

"The Minister then repeated his question. All responded this time,
except one man, an avid FISHERMAN..."

then...

"The old GOLFER tottered down the aisle, stopped in front of the
pulpit"

Harry is kicking your ass, but he has more experience...


You missed it. Go back and read the sentence again (in *this* post), and you'll
see why I said, "Say what?"

But, as you're comparing me to Harry, it may have gone over your head.


All times are GMT +1. The time now is 11:09 AM.

Powered by vBulletin® Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Copyright ©2004 - 2014 BoatBanter.com