America needs Obama-care like Nancy Pelosi needs a Halloween mask.
- Jay Leno



Q: Have you heard about McDonald's' new Obama Value Meal?
A: Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it.


-
Conan O'Brien



Q: What does Barack Obama call lunch with a convicted felon?
A: A fund raiser. - Jay Leno



Q: What's the difference betwee n Obama's cabinet and a penitentiary?
A: One is filled with tax evaders, blackmailers and threats to society.
The other is for housing prisoners. -
David Letterman



Q: If Nancy Pelosi and Obama were on a boat in the middle of the ocean
and it started to sink, who would be saved?
A: America ! -
Jimmy Fallon



Q: What's the difference between Obama and his dog, Bo?
A: Bo has papers. - Jimmy Kimmel



My favorite...



Q: What was the most positive result of the "Cash for clunkers" program?
A: It took 95% of the Obama bumper stickers off the road.


- David Letterman