A Brief History of Republicans and Democrats, posted at:

http://www.conservativerepublican.us/CR_Humor.htm

History Lesson

Some historians are teaching that history began some 10,000 years ago.
Humans existed as members of small bands of nomadic hunter/gatherers. They
lived on deer in the mountains during the winter and would go to the coast
to live on fish and lobster in the summer.

The two most important events in all of history were the invention of beer
and the invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get man to the
beer. These were the foundations of modern civilization, and together were
the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups:
Liberals & Conservatives.

Once beer was discovered, it required grain, and that was the beginning of
agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so
while our early human ancestors were sitting around waiting for them to be
invented, they just stayed close to the brewery. That's how villages were
formed.

Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to B-B-Q at night
while they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known as
"the Conservative movement."

Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting, learned to live off
the conservatives by showing up for the nightly B-B-Q's and doing the
sewing, fetching and hair dressing. This was the beginning of the liberal
movement.

Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of cats, the
invention of group therapy and group hugs, and the concept of democratic
voting to decide how to divide the meat and beer that conservatives
provided.

Over the years, conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most
powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are symbolized by the
jackass.

Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most prefer white
wine or imported bottled water. Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard
liberal fare. Most liberal women have higher testosterone levels than their
liberal men.

Most social workers, personal injury attorneys, journalists, Hollywood
actors and group therapists, are liberals. Liberals don't like the
designated hitter rule because it isn't "fair" to have to pitch to good
hitters without having a break every ninth batter.

Conservatives drink domestic beer. They eat red meat and still provide for
their women. Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks,
construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police officers, corporate
executives, soldiers, athletes, and generally, anyone who works
productively. Many conservatives own companies and hire other conservatives
who want to work for a living.

Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to "govern" the producers and
decide what to do with the production! Liberals are against corporations and
free enterprise. Liberals want to distribute all wealth so that everyone is
equal.

Liberals believe Europeans are more enlightened than Americans. Most of the
liberals remained in Europe when conservatives were coming to America. They
crept in later after the Wild West was tame and created a business of trying
to get more for nothing.

Liberals believe that it is offensive to mention "God" in public. They want
to keep all poor people continually dependent on government welfare
programs. Liberals oppose home ownership and the rule of law. Liberals
desire to make all decisions based upon feelings rather than facts.

Here ends today's lesson in world history.


--
"Every government interference in the economy consists of giving an unearned
benefit, extorted by force, to some men at the expense of others." - Ayn
Rand

Lu Powell wrote:
A Brief History of Republicans and Democrats, posted at:



More stupidity from slow-witted lu, another gop'er who thinks
innuendo is a brand of italian suppository.

On Wed, 2 Sep 2009 11:04:31 -0400, "Lu Powell"
wrote:

A Brief History of Republicans and Democrats, posted at:

http://www.conservativerepublican.us/CR_Humor.htm

History Lesson

Some historians are teaching that history began some 10,000 years ago.
Humans existed as members of small bands of nomadic hunter/gatherers. They
lived on deer in the mountains during the winter and would go to the coast
to live on fish and lobster in the summer.

The two most important events in all of history were the invention of beer
and the invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get man to the
beer. These were the foundations of modern civilization, and together were
snipped

Liberals believe that it is offensive to mention "God" in public. They want
to keep all poor people continually dependent on government welfare
programs. Liberals oppose home ownership and the rule of law. Liberals
desire to make all decisions based upon feelings rather than facts.

Here ends today's lesson in world history.

Some very wise stuff there, Lu. Keep up the good work. I note that a
'suppository expert' is making nasty comments. Pay him no heed.
--
Calling an Illegal Alien an "Undocumented Worker" is like calling a
Crack Dealer an "Unlicensed Pharmacist"

John H

"Lu Powell" wrote in message
...
snip

Sorry, but that just wasn't funny... long, boring, obvious.

--
Nom=de=Plume

"John H." wrote in message
...
On Wed, 2 Sep 2009 11:04:31 -0400, "Lu Powell"
wrote:

A Brief History of Republicans and Democrats, posted at:

http://www.conservativerepublican.us/CR_Humor.htm

History Lesson

Some historians are teaching that history began some 10,000 years ago.
Humans existed as members of small bands of nomadic hunter/gatherers. They
lived on deer in the mountains during the winter and would go to the coast
to live on fish and lobster in the summer.

The two most important events in all of history were the invention of beer
and the invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get man to the
beer. These were the foundations of modern civilization, and together were
snipped

Liberals believe that it is offensive to mention "God" in public. They
want
to keep all poor people continually dependent on government welfare
programs. Liberals oppose home ownership and the rule of law. Liberals
desire to make all decisions based upon feelings rather than facts.

Here ends today's lesson in world history.

Some very wise stuff there, Lu. Keep up the good work. I note that a
'suppository expert' is making nasty comments. Pay him no heed.
--
Calling an Illegal Alien an "Undocumented Worker" is like calling a
Crack Dealer an "Unlicensed Pharmacist"

John H

Thanks. I just post them as I see them. Apparently the "suppository expert"
is in my kill file, since didn't see its post.