Note: I did not write this, nor do I propose it to be truthful. It is
posted as a piece of humor, a work of fiction, nothing more (even if
some of you find some truth herein).

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Commentary from the Soapbox.....
Cultural Evolution....

Division of the human family into 2 distinct political groups began
some 12,000 years ago. Humans existed as members of small bands of
nomadic hunters/gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains in the
summer and would go to the beach and live on fish and lobster in
winter.

The two most important events in all of history were the invention of
beer and the invention of the wheel. (The wheel was invented to get
man to the beer.) These were the foundations of modern civilization
and, together, were the catalyst for the splitting of humanity into
two distinct sub-groups: Liberals and Conservatives.

Once beer was discovered it required grain and that was the beginning
of agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were
invented yet so, while our early human ancestors were sitting around
waiting for them to be invented, they just stayed close to the
brewery. That's how villages were formed.

Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to BBQ at night
while they were drinking beer. This is what is known as the beginning
of the "conservative movement".

Other men, who were weaker and less skilled at hunting, learned to
live off the conservatives by showing up for the nightly BBQ's and
doing the sewing, fetching and hair dressing. This the beginning of
the "liberal movement". Some of these liberal men eventually evolved
into women. The rest became known as "girly-men".

Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of
cats, the trade unions, contour bed sheets, group therapy, group hugs
and, the concept of democratic voting to decide how the divide the
meat and beer that the conservatives provided.

Over the years, conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest,
most powerful land animal on earth...the elephant. Liberals are
symbolized by the jackass.

Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime) but, most prefer white
wine or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their beef
well done. Sushi, tofu and French food are standard liberal fare.
(Another interesting side note: most of their women in this group
have higher testosterone levels than the men.)

Most social workers, personal injury attorneys, journalists,
"fantacists"/dreamers in Hollywood and group therapists are liberals.
Liberals invented the designated hitter rule because it "wasn't fair"
to make the pitcher also bat.

Conservatives drink domestic beer and eat red meat & potatoes.
Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks,
construction worker, medical doctors, police officers, corporate
executives, soldiers, athletes and, generally anyone who works
productively outside government. Conservatives who own companies hire
other conservatives who want to work for a living.

Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to "govern" the
producers and decide what to do with the production. Liberals believe
Europeans are more enlightened than Americans. That is why most of
the liberals remained in Europe when conservatives were coming to
America. They crept in after the Wild West was tamed and created
businesses of trying to get MORE for nothing.

That ends today's lesson on world history.
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John H

On the 'PocoLoco' out of Deale, MD,
on the beautiful Chesapeake Bay!