Humans originally existed as members of small bands of nomadic
hunters/gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer and
would go to the coast and live on fish and lobster in the winter.

The two most important events in all of history we

1. The invention of beer, and
2. The invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get man to the
beer, and the beer to the man.


These facts formed the foundation of modern civilization and together were
the
catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups:

1. Liberals
2. Conservatives.


Once beer was discovered, it required grain and that was the beginning of
agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so
while our early humans were sitting around waiting for them to be invented,
they just stayed close to the brewery. That's how villages were formed.


Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to BBQ at night while
they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known as the
Conservative movement.



Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to live off
the
conservatives by showing up for the nightly BBQ's and doing the sewing,
fetching, and hair dressing. This was the beginning of the Liberal movement.



Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into women. The rest became
known
as girlie-men.



Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of cats, the
invention of group therapy and group hugs, the evolution of the Hollywood
actor,
and the concept of Democratic voting to decide how to divide all the meat
and
beer that conservatives provided.



Over the years, Conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most
powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are symbolized by the
jackass.




Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most prefer white
wine
or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their beef well done.
Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard liberal fare. Another interesting
evolutionary side note: most of liberal women have higher testosterone
levels
than their men. Most social workers, personal injury attorneys, journalists,
dreamers in Hollywood and group therapists are liberals. Liberals invented
the
designated hitter rule because it wasn't fair to make the pitcher also bat.



Conservatives drink domestic beer. They eat red meat and still provide for
their
women. Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks,
construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police officers, corporate
executives, athletes, Soldiers, Sailors, Marines, and generally anyone who
works
productively. Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who
want
to work for a living.



Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to govern the producers and
decide
what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans are more
enlightened
than Americans. That is why most of the liberals remained in Europe when
conservatives were coming to America . They crept in after the Wild West was
tamed and created a business of trying to get more for nothing.



Here ends today's lesson in world history....... It should be noted that a
liberal may have a momentary urge to angrily respond to the above before
forwarding it.



A conservative will simply laugh and be so convinced of the absolute truth
of
this history that it will be forwarded immediately to other true believers,
and
to more liberals...just to yank their chain.


Eisboch (teaching the young Padawans)

On Wed, 17 Dec 2008 17:13:14 -0500, "Eisboch" wrote:


Humans originally existed as members of small bands of nomadic
hunters/gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer and
would go to the coast and live on fish and lobster in the winter.

The two most important events in all of history we

1. The invention of beer, and
2. The invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get man to the
beer, and the beer to the man.


These facts formed the foundation of modern civilization and together were
the
catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups:

1. Liberals
2. Conservatives.


Once beer was discovered, it required grain and that was the beginning of
agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so
while our early humans were sitting around waiting for them to be invented,
they just stayed close to the brewery. That's how villages were formed.


Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to BBQ at night while
they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known as the
Conservative movement.



Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to live off
the
conservatives by showing up for the nightly BBQ's and doing the sewing,
fetching, and hair dressing. This was the beginning of the Liberal movement.



Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into women. The rest became
known
as girlie-men.



Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of cats, the
invention of group therapy and group hugs, the evolution of the Hollywood
actor,
and the concept of Democratic voting to decide how to divide all the meat
and
beer that conservatives provided.



Over the years, Conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most
powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are symbolized by the
jackass.




Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most prefer white
wine
or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their beef well done.
Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard liberal fare. Another interesting
evolutionary side note: most of liberal women have higher testosterone
levels
than their men. Most social workers, personal injury attorneys, journalists,
dreamers in Hollywood and group therapists are liberals. Liberals invented
the
designated hitter rule because it wasn't fair to make the pitcher also bat.



Conservatives drink domestic beer. They eat red meat and still provide for
their
women. Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks,
construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police officers, corporate
executives, athletes, Soldiers, Sailors, Marines, and generally anyone who
works
productively. Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who
want
to work for a living.



Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to govern the producers and
decide
what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans are more
enlightened
than Americans. That is why most of the liberals remained in Europe when
conservatives were coming to America . They crept in after the Wild West was
tamed and created a business of trying to get more for nothing.



Here ends today's lesson in world history....... It should be noted that a
liberal may have a momentary urge to angrily respond to the above before
forwarding it.



A conservative will simply laugh and be so convinced of the absolute truth
of
this history that it will be forwarded immediately to other true believers,
and
to more liberals...just to yank their chain.


Eisboch (teaching the young Padawans)


Where does Caroline fit in the above?
--

John Salmonbait

On Dec 17, 4:29*pm, John wrote:
On Wed, 17 Dec 2008 17:13:14 -0500, "Eisboch" wrote:

Humans originally existed as members of small bands of nomadic
hunters/gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer and
would go to the coast and live on fish and lobster in the winter.

The two most important events in all of history we

1. The invention of beer, and
2. The invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get man to the
beer, and the beer to the man.

These facts formed the foundation of modern civilization and together were
the
catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups:

1. Liberals
2. Conservatives.

Once beer was discovered, it required grain and that was the beginning of
agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so
while our early humans were sitting around waiting for them to be invented,
they just stayed close to the brewery. That's how villages were formed.

Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to BBQ at night while
they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known as the
Conservative movement.

Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to live off
the
conservatives by showing up for the nightly BBQ's and doing the sewing,
fetching, and hair dressing. This was the beginning of the Liberal movement.

Some of these liberal men eventually evolved into women. The rest became
known
as girlie-men.

Some noteworthy liberal achievements include the domestication of cats, the
invention of group therapy and group hugs, the evolution of the Hollywood
actor,
and the concept of Democratic voting to decide how to divide all the meat
and
beer that conservatives provided.

Over the years, Conservatives came to be symbolized by the largest, most
powerful land animal on earth, the elephant. Liberals are symbolized by the
jackass.

Modern liberals like imported beer (with lime added), but most prefer white
wine
or imported bottled water. They eat raw fish but like their beef well done.
Sushi, tofu, and French food are standard liberal fare. Another interesting
evolutionary side note: most of liberal women have higher testosterone
levels
than their men. Most social workers, personal injury attorneys, journalists,
dreamers in Hollywood and group therapists are liberals. Liberals invented
the
designated hitter rule because it wasn't fair to make the pitcher also bat.

Conservatives drink domestic beer. They eat red meat and still provide for
their
women. Conservatives are big-game hunters, rodeo cowboys, lumberjacks,
construction workers, firemen, medical doctors, police officers, corporate
executives, athletes, Soldiers, Sailors, Marines, and generally anyone who
works
productively. Conservatives who own companies hire other conservatives who
want
to work for a living.

Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to govern the producers and
decide
what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans are more
enlightened
than Americans. That is why most of the liberals remained in Europe when
conservatives were coming to America . They crept in after the Wild West was
tamed and created a business of trying to get more for nothing.

Here ends today's lesson in world history....... It should be noted that a
liberal may have a momentary urge to angrily respond to the above before
forwarding it.

A conservative will simply laugh and be so convinced of the absolute truth
of
this history that it will be forwarded immediately to other true believers,
and
to more liberals...just to yank their chain.

Eisboch *(teaching the young Padawans)

Where does Caroline fit in the above?
--

John Salmonbait

"Another interesting evolutionary side note: most of liberal women
have higher testosterone levels than their men. "

On Wed, 17 Dec 2008 15:36:32 -0800 (PST), Tim wrote:

On Dec 17, 4:29*pm, John wrote:
On Wed, 17 Dec 2008 17:13:14 -0500, "Eisboch" wrote:
some snippage
Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to govern the producers and
decide
what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans are more
enlightened
than Americans. That is why most of the liberals remained in Europe when
conservatives were coming to America . They crept in after the Wild West was
tamed and created a business of trying to get more for nothing.

Here ends today's lesson in world history....... It should be noted that a
liberal may have a momentary urge to angrily respond to the above before
forwarding it.

A conservative will simply laugh and be so convinced of the absolute truth
of
this history that it will be forwarded immediately to other true believers,
and
to more liberals...just to yank their chain.

Eisboch *(teaching the young Padawans)

Where does Caroline fit in the above?
--

John Salmonbait

"Another interesting evolutionary side note: most of liberal women
have higher testosterone levels than their men. "

Oh man, you are in for it now. You think liberal women purposely marry
girlie men?
--

John Salmonbait

On Dec 17, 7:00*pm, John wrote:
On Wed, 17 Dec 2008 15:36:32 -0800 (PST), Tim wrote:
On Dec 17, 4:29*pm, John wrote:
On Wed, 17 Dec 2008 17:13:14 -0500, "Eisboch" wrote:
some snippage
Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to govern the producers and
decide
what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans are more
enlightened
than Americans. That is why most of the liberals remained in Europe when
conservatives were coming to America . They crept in after the Wild West was
tamed and created a business of trying to get more for nothing.

Here ends today's lesson in world history....... It should be noted that a
liberal may have a momentary urge to angrily respond to the above before
forwarding it.

A conservative will simply laugh and be so convinced of the absolute truth
of
this history that it will be forwarded immediately to other true believers,
and
to more liberals...just to yank their chain.

Eisboch *(teaching the young Padawans)

Where does Caroline fit in the above?
--

John Salmonbait

"Another interesting evolutionary side note: most of liberal women
have higher testosterone levels than their men. "

Oh man, you are in for it now. You think liberal women purposely marry
girlie men?
--

John Salmonbait

When that's all that's available......

On Dec 17, 5:13*pm, "Eisboch" wrote:
Humans originally existed as members of small bands of nomadic
hunters/gatherers. They lived on deer in the mountains during the summer and
would go to the coast and live on fish and lobster in the winter.

The two most important events in all of history we

1. The invention of beer, and
2. The invention of the wheel. The wheel was invented to get man to the
beer, and the beer to the man.

These facts formed the foundation of modern civilization and together were
the
catalyst for the splitting of humanity into two distinct subgroups:

1. Liberals
2. Conservatives.

Once beer was discovered, it required grain and that was the beginning of
agriculture. Neither the glass bottle nor aluminum can were invented yet, so
while our early humans were sitting around waiting for them to be invented,
they just stayed close to the brewery. That's how villages were formed.

Some men spent their days tracking and killing animals to BBQ at night while
they were drinking beer. This was the beginning of what is known as the
Conservative movement.

Other men who were weaker and less skilled at hunting learned to live off
the
conservatives by showing up for the nightly BBQ's and doing the sewing,
fetching, and hair dressing. This was the beginning of the Liberal movement.

"Tim" wrote in message
...
On Dec 17, 7:00 pm, John wrote:
On Wed, 17 Dec 2008 15:36:32 -0800 (PST), Tim wrote:
On Dec 17, 4:29 pm, John wrote:
On Wed, 17 Dec 2008 17:13:14 -0500, "Eisboch"
wrote:
some snippage
Liberals produce little or nothing. They like to govern the producers
and
decide
what to do with the production. Liberals believe Europeans are more
enlightened
than Americans. That is why most of the liberals remained in Europe
when
conservatives were coming to America . They crept in after the Wild
West was
tamed and created a business of trying to get more for nothing.

Here ends today's lesson in world history....... It should be noted
that a
liberal may have a momentary urge to angrily respond to the above
before
forwarding it.

A conservative will simply laugh and be so convinced of the absolute
truth
of
this history that it will be forwarded immediately to other true
believers,
and
to more liberals...just to yank their chain.

Eisboch (teaching the young Padawans)

Where does Caroline fit in the above?
--

John Salmonbait

"Another interesting evolutionary side note: most of liberal women
have higher testosterone levels than their men. "

Oh man, you are in for it now. You think liberal women purposely marry
girlie men?



When that's all that's available......

Girlie men marry liberal women for their money.

Eisboch

On Thu, 18 Dec 2008 12:27:42 -0500, wrote:

On Wed, 17 Dec 2008 20:00:29 -0500, John wrote:

"Another interesting evolutionary side note: most of liberal women
have higher testosterone levels than their men. "

Oh man, you are in for it now. You think liberal women purposely marry
girlie men?
--


"liberal women" like men? I thought they were all lesbians. ;-)

They like 'girlie men', not regular men. It's OK for lesbians to like
'girlie men'.
--
We say, "MERRY CHRISTMAS!"

John