Gordon wrote in
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Military Retirement

The Air Force found they had too many officers and senior NCOs and
decided to offer an early retirement bonus.
They promised any anyone who volunteered for retirement a bonus of
$1,000
for every inch measured in a straight line between any two parts of his
body.
The individual got to choose what those two points would be.
The first officer, a lieutenant colonel, who accepted, asked that he be
measured from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. He was
measured
at six feet and walked out with a bonus of $72,000.
The second officer, a colonel, who accepted, was a little smarter and
asked to be measured from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes.
He walked out with $96,000.
The third one was a grisly old master segeant, who, when asked where he
would like to be measured replied, "from the tip of my penis to my
testicles."
It was suggested by the pension man that he might want to reconsider,
explaining about the nice big checks the previous two volunteers had
received. But the old sergeant insisted and they decided to go along
with
him, providing the measurement was taken by a medical officer.
The medical officer arrived and instructed the sergeant to "drop 'em,"
which he did. The medical officer placed the tape measure on the tip of
the his penis and began to work back.
Oh Man!" he suddenly exclaimed, "Where are your testicles?"
The old sergeant calmly replied... "Vietnam."