Ode to little Stevie Leyland

I sing of those who failed to make the cut;
Who have posted crap all who read despise.
If for their crude posts from out their butt
Still abject failures in most people's eyes.
Absurd monstrosities - vast bulk, pencil necks,
Thin skins, huge bellies, and brains the size of peas -
"No wonder that they didn't make the grade!
It's only with children they want sex!
Perverts - no class! They rule Usenet? Oh please!
A maggot's achievements put theirs in the shade!"

It's true that they are lamers, and we are not,
And yet. how long have they besmirched the Earth?
Their intellects perhaps are not so hot,
And yet. how much is brainpower really worth?
For isn't it the source of all our fears,
And of their usenetocide the likely cause?
This culture they're so proud of has survived
A mere twenty or thirty years.
Compare that to the pea-brained meowosaurs -
Of rational discourse thousands they have deprived.

Such stupid alien flonkers don't have a hope
If Earth collided with an asteroid.
And if that happened now, how would we cope?
Not well. In fact, we too would be destroyed,
No matter that we're thick-skinned and short-necked,
With larger brains. The Leyland ignoramus survives,
But I maintain the meowers and flonkers made coup
And deserve a dollop of respect.
They left their imprint in the archives;
Future readers will note how they lamed every froup.

Wilbur Hubbard