"Lady Pilot" wrote in message
news:EuZAf.78198$4l5.14740@dukeread05...

"Bob Crantz" wrote:
I wouldn't consider her an a**hole, unless she had malicious intent not
standing watches.

Some people have no idea or no control over what they are.

Oh sure they do, I believe. It's all in the motivation to get someone to
change.

I said "some people". Outside of that grouping, there are some people that
do change.



You can't change them and getting mad at them doesn't do squat.

Very true!

The best is to accept them for what they are and avoid them at all cost.

Why would you do that? Unless of course you didn't have the time or
interest into investing in their lives...

Or you don't want the consequences. Screw ups are screw ups. If you are into
codependency then it may be worth it.

Amen!



LP

To buy a boat you first put a deposit down and then
have the sea trial.

If you run into an asshole, you can delay returning
the deposit for a while to make them squirm a bit.

If you want to sail the boat before puttng a deposit
down, you can charter it.

You can awlays make it a policy--no watch
standing, no food. Give her a nice job like
taking the head apart and cleaning it with a
toothbrush.

"DSK" wrote
Bob Crantz wrote:
I wouldn't consider her an a**hole, unless she had malicious intent not
standing watches.


How much "malicious" intent would she need? If somebody has to stand her
watch and theirs too, then she either needs to make it up to them or she's
being an asshole.


Some people have no idea or no control over what they are. You can't
change them and getting mad at them doesn't do squat. The best is to
accept them for what they are and avoid them at all cost.


hmmm... "at all costs" gives me an idea. Can I just offer people money to
go away & not bother me?

"Here's $5, get lost and stay there."

DSK

He is a sailor. You stand your watches. I usually
get sea sick my frist day out. I've also been in plenty
of situations where everyone was puking on their
shoes when standing watch. It is miserable at times
but also something that has to be done.

I've heard plenty of stories of people hiding in their
bunks leaving watch standing to just one or two
people.

"Frank Boettcher" wrote

come back up and take the helm back. He refused to do that and stood
every minute of his helm time although sick as a dog. And it was
rough helm time, the boat, a custom ferro cement, had a serious design
flaw that resulted in the worst weather helm I had ever experienced
sailing. He also responded to any and all trim commands when not on
the helm.

Fortunately, things got better for Blake when we got in Hawks Channel.
Conditions improved and he mostly got over his seasickness. But I
have great admiration for the guy for going through several days of
hell to live up to the responsibility he signed up for.

I'll second that. I and crew were so sick the first couple of days out of
SF, I'm amazed we didn't turn around. Fortunately, I had great crew, as I
was out of it the first 20 hours. After that, I dragged myself on deck. It
wouldn't have been a problem if someone decided to withhold food. :-) I
don't think anyone had more than water the first two days. The two people
who actually didn't puke during the first 15 hours or so were the cook and
someone who had limited sailing experience. On the way back up the coast,
they had the whole boat to themselves (everyone else abandoned ship for
various reasons), and they sailed the 48 footer without assistance for 10
days... no easy job, since it was not setup for short handing.

--
"j" ganz @@
www.sailnow.com

"Bart Senior" .@. wrote in message ...
He is a sailor. You stand your watches. I usually
get sea sick my frist day out. I've also been in plenty
of situations where everyone was puking on their
shoes when standing watch. It is miserable at times
but also something that has to be done.

I've heard plenty of stories of people hiding in their
bunks leaving watch standing to just one or two
people.

"Frank Boettcher" wrote

come back up and take the helm back. He refused to do that and stood
every minute of his helm time although sick as a dog. And it was
rough helm time, the boat, a custom ferro cement, had a serious design
flaw that resulted in the worst weather helm I had ever experienced
sailing. He also responded to any and all trim commands when not on
the helm.

Fortunately, things got better for Blake when we got in Hawks Channel.
Conditions improved and he mostly got over his seasickness. But I
have great admiration for the guy for going through several days of
hell to live up to the responsibility he signed up for.

"Bob Crantz" wrote:

"Lady Pilot" wrote:
"Bob Crantz" wrote:
I wouldn't consider her an a**hole, unless she had malicious intent not
standing watches.

Some people have no idea or no control over what they are.

Oh sure they do, I believe. It's all in the motivation to get someone to
change.

I said "some people". Outside of that grouping, there are some people
that do change.

I agree that "some people do not change", but I was disagreeing with your
point that "some people have *no control* over what they are. Are you
saying Jeffrey Dahmer had no control over killing and eating his victims?

Maybe there is a point in life when they are so possessed with evil that at
that point they can't change.



You can't change them and getting mad at them doesn't do squat.

Very true!

The best is to accept them for what they are and avoid them at all cost.

Why would you do that? Unless of course you didn't have the time or
interest into investing in their lives...

Or you don't want the consequences. Screw ups are screw ups. If you are
into codependency then it may be worth it.

This has nothing to do with codependency. I'm not "codependent" on my next
door neighbor that's an old cranky putz. Kill them with kindness, I say.

Sad to say that method doesn't work on everyone.

LP