Our very own "Marsha"
 

http://tinylink.com/?uvfnK9CZdI

I think I've told the story before of the tragic figure of Marsha. Of
course, John always asks crew to fill out a sailing resume. Marsha had come
down to Lauderdale several days early to look at offshore boats, I believe
she mentioned looking at a boat that John had written a "Used Boat Notebook"
column on, quoting the owner as part of the article. Marsha had traveled
extensively during her lifetime, courtesy of a handsome divorce settlement
with her ex, and she had done some sailing, was heavily involved-at least on
the social end-with one of the clubs in Chicago, she had hosted the Pardeys,
blah, blah. She had a lot of stories to tell, but the truth of the matter
came out when we left Miami for San Sal-if she ever had done any sailing, it
wasn't recently, and possibly never offshore, maybe not even coastal. She
disappeared into her cabin, basically didn't stand any of her watches. At
San Sal, we had to drag the boat right to next to the dock so that she could
debark, the swell making it imprudent to tie the boat snug to the dock. And
of course, when we left San Sal to return to Lauderdale and ran into the big
wind and swells, she disappeared entirely, not appearing until well into the
following day when the seas and wind had subsided. She mentioned that she
was again planning on doing the rounds in Lauderdale-a great place to shop
boats, BTW. Couldn't help but thinking at the time, what an asshole. I know
firsthand what a pita it can be to sell a boat that you own or are selling
for a living, this lady was looking at boats that she would never be buying,
wasting everyone's time. I think on some level she honestly believed that
she was legitimately shopping for a boat that she intended to buy. Oh well,
takes all kinds.

John Cairns

Our very own "Marsha"
 

John Cairns wrote:
http://tinylink.com/?uvfnK9CZdI

..... this lady was looking at boats that she would never be buying,
wasting everyone's time. I think on some level she honestly believed that
she was legitimately shopping for a boat that she intended to buy. Oh well,
takes all kinds.


Hey, why be so harsh. I don't like sailing with people that
can't stand their watches either, but somebody has to buy
all those marina-hobbled boats that never go anywhere. Maybe
Marsha can rent the slip next to Bubbles.

BTW "hosting the Pardeys" is no big deal since they are
notorious freeloaders. But maybe it's an exclusive club,
like being one of the select few that have towed their
perfect engineless sailboat.

Fresh Breezes- Doug King

Our very own "Marsha"
 

Marsha can rent the slip next to Bubbles.


Every post is about me, or sooner or later mentions me....even I do
nothing!
The training is now complete. In the beginning I was but the learner.
Now I AM the master!

(Only a master of evil, Darth...)


RB
35s5
NY

Our very own "Marsha"
 

I wouldn't consider her an a**hole, unless she had malicious intent not
standing watches.

Some people have no idea or no control over what they are. You can't change
them and getting mad at them doesn't do squat. The best is to accept them
for what they are and avoid them at all cost.

Amen!

Our very own "Marsha"
 

"Bob Crantz" wrote in message
nk.net...
I wouldn't consider her an a**hole, unless she had malicious intent not
standing watches.

Some people have no idea or no control over what they are. You can't
change them and getting mad at them doesn't do squat. The best is to
accept them for what they are and avoid them at all cost.

Amen!

No, I didn't consider her an asshole for not standing watches, more time
driving for the rest of us, I consider her an asshole for presenting herself
to folks as a potential buyer for their sailboat. I know for a fact that at
least one of the boats she looked at was a private party sale, we discussed
the boat and the owner and the fact that this particular boat was the
subject of John's first "Used Boat Notebook" column. If she walked into a
brokerage office the folks there could size her up and give her the flake
off, hard for a private party to do that over the telephone, she could talk
the talk, after all.

John Cairns

Our very own "Marsha"
 

Bob Crantz wrote:
I wouldn't consider her an a**hole, unless she had malicious intent not
standing watches.


How much "malicious" intent would she need? If somebody has
to stand her watch and theirs too, then she either needs to
make it up to them or she's being an asshole.


Some people have no idea or no control over what they are. You can't change
them and getting mad at them doesn't do squat. The best is to accept them
for what they are and avoid them at all cost.


hmmm... "at all costs" gives me an idea. Can I just offer
people money to go away & not bother me?

"Here's $5, get lost and stay there."

DSK

Our very own "Marsha"
 

"DSK" wrote in message
...
Bob Crantz wrote:
I wouldn't consider her an a**hole, unless she had malicious intent not
standing watches.


How much "malicious" intent would she need? If somebody has to stand her
watch and theirs too, then she either needs to make it up to them or she's
being an asshole.


Some people have no idea or no control over what they are. You can't
change them and getting mad at them doesn't do squat. The best is to
accept them for what they are and avoid them at all cost.


hmmm... "at all costs" gives me an idea. Can I just offer people money to
go away & not bother me?

"Here's $5, get lost and stay there."

DSK

You hit a good point Doug. Sometimes the best way to get rid of someone is
to loan them money. They will never pay you back, but they will avoid you
too. Costs you less in the long term too.

Some people have personality disorders. They can't change, they can't help
it. They just don't get it. They may act as assholes, but for them it is not
a matter of choice. They have mental problems. Just go to the other side of
the street when you see them coming.

Our very own "Marsha"
 

On Sun, 22 Jan 2006 01:56:05 GMT, "John Cairns"
wrote:

http://tinylink.com/?uvfnK9CZdI

I think I've told the story before of the tragic figure of Marsha. Of
course, John always asks crew to fill out a sailing resume. Marsha had come
down to Lauderdale several days early to look at offshore boats, I believe
she mentioned looking at a boat that John had written a "Used Boat Notebook"
column on, quoting the owner as part of the article. Marsha had traveled
extensively during her lifetime, courtesy of a handsome divorce settlement
with her ex, and she had done some sailing, was heavily involved-at least on
the social end-with one of the clubs in Chicago, she had hosted the Pardeys,
blah, blah. She had a lot of stories to tell, but the truth of the matter
came out when we left Miami for San Sal-if she ever had done any sailing, it
wasn't recently, and possibly never offshore, maybe not even coastal. She
disappeared into her cabin, basically didn't stand any of her watches. At
San Sal, we had to drag the boat right to next to the dock so that she could
debark, the swell making it imprudent to tie the boat snug to the dock. And
of course, when we left San Sal to return to Lauderdale and ran into the big
wind and swells, she disappeared entirely, not appearing until well into the
following day when the seas and wind had subsided. She mentioned that she
was again planning on doing the rounds in Lauderdale-a great place to shop
boats, BTW. Couldn't help but thinking at the time, what an asshole. I know
firsthand what a pita it can be to sell a boat that you own or are selling
for a living, this lady was looking at boats that she would never be buying,
wasting everyone's time. I think on some level she honestly believed that
she was legitimately shopping for a boat that she intended to buy. Oh well,
takes all kinds.

John Cairns


On the flip side of Marsha is Blake H.

I was recruited for the Jacksonville to Key West leg of a trip to move
a friends 44' partially finished pilothouse ketch from the Chesapeake
to Pensacola. There were six of us on the crew and I was paired with
the only novice, Blake H., a young guy in his early twenties. We were
watch teams of two, four on eight off around the clock.

Weather was terrible from Jacksonville to about Miami and Blake, who
had never sailed before was prone to violent sea sickness. Our night
watch was eight to midnight and we devided the four hours into
alternating 30 minutes of helm duty. Owner/Captains watch procedure
had the senior guy on watch (me in this case) go below immediately
after helm duty and plot a position on the chart so we were never more
than thirty minutes from knowing where we were.

Blake spent every minute of the watch that he wasn't on the helm
hanging over the rail, puking. Each time before I went below, I asked
if he could just give me five minutes to get the plot and then I'd
come back up and take the helm back. He refused to do that and stood
every minute of his helm time although sick as a dog. And it was
rough helm time, the boat, a custom ferro cement, had a serious design
flaw that resulted in the worst weather helm I had ever experienced
sailing. He also responded to any and all trim commands when not on
the helm.

Fortunately, things got better for Blake when we got in Hawks Channel.
Conditions improved and he mostly got over his seasickness. But I
have great admiration for the guy for going through several days of
hell to live up to the responsibility he signed up for.

Every once in a while I lift one to Blake.

Frank

Our very own "Marsha"
 

"Here's $5, get lost and stay there."



Bob Crantz wrote:
You hit a good point Doug. Sometimes the best way to get rid of someone is
to loan them money. They will never pay you back, but they will avoid you
too. Costs you less in the long term too.


That's a brilliant idea! I'm starting work on my "loan money
to" list for this Monday! This will save me a lot of
productive time, especially if they also avoid calling me on
the phone. Bob do I owe you a retainer?

Some people have personality disorders. They can't change, they can't help
it. They just don't get it. They may act as assholes, but for them it is not
a matter of choice. They have mental problems. Just go to the other side of
the street when you see them coming.


That may be true, but the cost to society is still high. I
want a new social contract, one that includes the right to
smack disordered people for varying social offenses. Of
course, in many parts of the country you can still do that.

DSK

Our very own "Marsha"
 

"Bob Crantz" wrote:
I wouldn't consider her an a**hole, unless she had malicious intent not
standing watches.

Some people have no idea or no control over what they are.

Oh sure they do, I believe. It's all in the motivation to get someone to
change.

You can't change them and getting mad at them doesn't do squat.

Very true!

The best is to accept them for what they are and avoid them at all cost.

Why would you do that? Unless of course you didn't have the time or
interest into investing in their lives...

LP